Anyone have friends who make them think "they have it easy?"

[UnquietDad]

I know we never see the full picture, grass is always greener, etc. But I don't think this is uncommon.

Thinking of friends we see quite often in another part of the country, and like a lot and have known for years. Their 2 girls are about the same age as our DD & DS and we always enjoy visiting. But we always come away with the feeling that (as DW's mother says) "if they fell in a bucket of muck they'd come up smelling of roses."

They seem to have lurched with no game-plan from one set of fortuitous circumstances to another for about 15 years, without the wheels having come off the wagon yet.

They live in a lovely rural part of a very nice city - we are talking "stockbrokerish" prices. One of them is an academic and the other freelances, so how the hell they afford it I just don't know!! I know they bought their house at a good time, but then again so did a lot of people. And they've never had to venture more than a mile from their front door for work - it just seems to be that kind of place. No getting up at 6am to defrost the car, or travelling to a horrible place for work, or living in one for a couple of years.
It seems to be the kind of place where everyone knows everyone and does favours all the time. And they got their DDs into the local school with no trouble, even though some neighbours didn't.

It's odd - I can't decide what this feeling is. It's not envy exactly, as our life is fine. But maybe there is a whole story there and a whole load of suffering they haven't told us about? Or maybe some people are just really lucky?...

I'm going to get flamed now for saying people should have to endure a bit of annoyance to have a decent life. Aren't I? Go on, go on.

My sister and mother are like this.

No im jealous of them

Maybe they've won the lottery and haven't told anyone?

My brother is like this too

Not lottery, no way - they'd have a far more lavish lifestyle. Unless it was "only" £50-100K or thereabouts?

Masons.

It's a talent. The one of knowing that things will never get bad. I have that, it's called optamism. Life can get tough but I always get out of it in a way that benefits me. It's because deep down I know that things will always work out in the end. I feel looked after, almost as if I have my own angel watching over me. These people you go on about are the same. They have bad times but you never see them. They get out of them because they don't let them get them down. Life goes on, things are never normally as bad as they appear. That's life. If you think that it's good then it will be. Positive thinking.

LOL at Masons........

.... but seriously?
Could they help financially?

there is a picture in the attic, uqdad.

avenanap, you make it sound as if I talk about them all the time! This is my first ever thread about them!

Picture in the attic... like Dorian Grey? Something which will come back to haunt them?

I don't wish them any ill, you understand. they are good friends.

no, it's not just optimism. you can be as optimistic as Pollyanna and not have the life these folks have.

i know the kind of person you mean, UD.

theyre probably as miserable as sin, on prozac drinking a bottle of wine a night, arguing like hell but as soon as someone comes to the door are all smiles and isnt life grand and arent we lucky? to some extent all of us do it. dont we?

Is it that they make it look easy. They may well have parts of their lives they are not keen on but consentrate on the good bits to over come the bits that arn't nice? So therefore cos the concentrate on the positive you do not get to hear or see the negative bits.

I wouldn't give you tuppence for some places to live in this country - home counties being one area that I saw earlier on a thread as a place someone wanted to live - Not knocking the choice for them - for me though I would hate it.

Thing is if this couple have the type of life you want then go for it and get yoursleves the life you want and go luck to you.

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

You see, DW says "it's all about how you look at it - some people might look at our life and say we have it easy. I've never been out of work since qualifying, we got a house early on, moved up the property ladder, got into the local school..."

UnquietDad: Sorry. I didn't mean it that way. It's defiently a talent tough (not spelling unfortunatly). Perhapse some people are just made this way. It would be a strange world if everyone were to be given the same opportunities, it would me more equal though.

Yes, I know people like this too. Honestly, there's no poing feeling resentful about it (I know, I've done it for years ) it just makes you bitter and twister.
Mind you, I still sometimes wish they (and I'm thinking of one couple in particular) would fall in the shit....just a little bit.

It does. You just never see it. Everyone has problems and sh*t times.

You see, I don't want them to fall in the shit, but I do want them to take it for granted a bit less that they won't. And to have to work a bit harder for what they have got.

Yes I have a mate like this. I dread getting her emails with all her good news, but when I read them I am pleased for her. She is lovely and only gloats a small amount compared to what I think she should be capable of, taking her circumstances and everything into consideration.

Ah but you are comparing your insides to their outside

You have no idea what really happens in their life do you?

It could be the case that the grass always looks greener from the outside.

However, I do seem to feel that some people lead a charmed life and things just seem to fall in place for them with minimum effort.

I'm not bitter.

i think you can think this but everyone has shit happening, just looks better on the surface , not as visible.

well put, Countess - I've often been shocked at the stuff that goes on in what I thought were perfect relationships.