Monjauro

[Namechangedforthiswon]

I love my partner dearly, she is everything I’ve ever wanted, she is the most amazing person and I genuinely wouldn’t change a single thing about her, except for one thing - her weight.

She is in her early 30’s, I am in my mid 30’s and she is 5’1 and around 80kg. I still find her hugely attractive but I am worried about her future health and how her weight might impact her, especially later in life.

She eats well and will often go for runs but her natural body shape has always been bigger so it’s not easy for her to lose weight. I have friends who have used weight loss jabs with success and I am wondering how, or if, I broach the subject with her without destroying her self esteem?

an important note: she has suffered from bulimia throughout her adult life and I absolutely do not want her to fall back into that.

do I say nothing, do we have an adult conversation or do I order it for her and pass it off as pens that my friends double ordered?

I appreciate this probably won’t go down well, but I am asking because I love her, not because I want to change her aesthetically for my own benefit.

This is a recent thread, where the OP was repulsed by her overweight husband and a few posters actually suggested WLI - there was very few negative comeback…

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5490801-husband-overweight

But, thank you for your sensible post, I appreciate men and woman’s body’s are different but ultimately the consequences are the same , diabetes, lack of energy, heart issues…

Has her GP suggested those are areas of concern for her. Or are you just thinking because she's overweight then she must have some health issues, despite apparently being very active?
How were you thinking this conversation would go?! 'Hey honey. You know how I love you even though you're fat? Good news, Steve had some very expensive, prescription only meds just knocking about and we thought, as a fattie, that you'd like to have them. Great news, eh, babe? Let's jab you up and remember not to start vomming up your meals again. God my life, sorry babe, your life will be so much better when you're thinner'.

There are consequences for WLI too, pancreatitis for one.
I think it's great you are supportive, but ordering for her is not the right idea. I'd wait for her to mention it and just ask her how you can best support her.
It's not just about metabolism for women, it's hormones too. We're not small men and the medical world is only just coming to terms with that. So a lot of us are pushing boulders uphill when it comes to weight loss, she'll appreciate your support I'm sure, and with her history or disordered eating you are right to be cautious.

The long term risks of obesity do include diabetes and heart disease, and weight can affect how energetic you are. Although as she runs often a lack of energy seems unlikely.

I would not continue to consider suggesting WLI to her, given her eating disorder background. If you are concerned about her future health risks, then you could maybe discuss those if she raises the topic of weight and health. You could consider how you both could work on your health and fitness, changes to your lifestyle to enable that, and so on. I certainly find it easier to manage my diet and exercise when I am well rested, unstressed, happy at work, etc etc…

Thank you. That’s good advice.

If you want to help her and have that kind of money available, spend it on personal trainer sessions. I’ve gone twice a week to my PT for about three years now. It costs about the same as injections and it’s way better in terms of long term bone health, lean tissue building, mental health benefits, hormone health etc.

I suspect this isn't genuine as no one would treat the one they love like this.

FWIW, I've had a very successful medicalised weight loss and my DH has been supportive.

However, losing weight in that way has been my decision and in no way influenced by him. He was cautioning against meds tbh.

If he'd have suggested I needed meds or bought some for me, I'd have been so devastated that I felt he needed me to change that would have damaged our relationship beyond repair

I’m sure if she wants to take them, as an autonomous adult woman she can make that decision for herself.

if she’s given no indication she’s wanting to take them you really need to drop it.

I’m surprised by these responses - the op clearly loves his wife and fears for her future health which is understandable as she is obese and that comes with implications. He has not once said he doesn’t fancy her or value her as she is. I’m sure the other way round would have received different responses.

op the only issue here is the bulimia as they are not the right meds for someone with a previous eating disorder. If she raises her weight again you could recommend starting an eating and exercise plan together, for both your health?

I think you need to catch a hold of yourself .Women are very sensitive over weight issues ,and she may be upset by you mentioning it .Whatever you do dont order pens and "pass them off as extra from your friend" She would know anyway .as you have to give details of your size and weight to the Chemist!Be honest are you concerned about future health, or would you prefer a more slimline girl?As far as future weight issues go .My dad died of a Heart Attack at 53 .I was worried I would be similar ,however in early 60s and have Cancer! You just never know .You could get divorced ,or be ill yourself (god forbid ) so live in here and now .You are both young and happy /healthy ATM .anyone could be run over by a bus tomorrow!

It's because he's pretending he's worried about her health - despite no mention of any actual health issues, just her weight - and thinks the way to help her with the health issues she doesn't have is to lie to get prescription medication and to lie further about where he got it in order to give that medication to a woman with a history of eating disorders. No-one who was genuinely worried about their partner's health would do any of that.

She is actually a good way towards Class 2 obese.

Absolutely don't order prescription medication for her or pass on medication obtained for someone else - that would be a criminal offence.

If you've got a few hundred pounds to spare for potential weight loss medication anyway, why not suggest that both of you go and have a private health assessment done somewhere?

Then you can use the results from that to decide whether or not you're both in good health and would benefit from any potential support/supplements/treatments/etc.

This isnt true. You can after a mental health review. Ive done it.

@Theyikesdyke can I ask who did the review and who then prescribed WLI to you?

You can't just go around ordering her medication. Oh hey, why not go ahead and book her in for a gastric bypass as a surprise too?!

She knows she's overweight.

She has a history of an eating disorder. This is not something you can "gently" or ungently bring up to her without risk of triggering her ED.

Join a gym and get into weight lifting together. I’d also suggest you both pay for blood tests - eg fasting insulin / gloucose / APOB / CRP (inflammation) liver function - and then if any of the tests are sub optimal you can discuss losing weight

Are you a healthy weight?

I applied via med express, had to have my nhs record reviewed and speak to my gp and then got referred back to the website and got approved... i tool screenshots as ive posted on reddit tp help others with the correct process. I had a diagnosis of binge purge subtype with restriction and was in patient for 6 months 3 years ago. My bmi is 32

Fucks Sake
This woman knows she is overweight and probably knows the health risks, if she wanted to take mediction for it should would be doing it already.
This post is creepy

I don’t get all the angst, weight really does send folks into a spiral.

i went on mounjaro, very successfully, i said to my husband you should try them he said what?? Do you think im fat, not hurt, bemused, i said you’ve a belly on you. And for your health it’s not good, he still didn’t get hurt, he said hmm, let me think about it. Then one of our male friends went on them, looked great, and said to him you should give them a try, and he said yeah think I will.

and he did. No biggie, no hard feelings, people need to be not so sensitive where it’s something that can’t be mentioned, even to someone you love.

so my advice is do the no nonsense route, have you thought any more about weight loss injections, you sent me down a rabbit hole, seem to have loads of health benefits. See what she says.

Does your husband have an eating disorder?