Why do they do it?

[ChocolateSqueezyyogurts]

Why do men give the silent treatment even though they know you struggle with it.
I dont know why but it breaks me

Well, it’s to control you. By going silent it will leave you guessing about what you’ve done, and how long you’re punishment is going to be. I suspect that there’s a lot more going on than just the silent treatment.

Both men and women try to control their partners by refusing to speak to them. It’s horrible behaviour and you don’t need to put up with it.

Not all men give the 'silent treatment'. I suggest yours does it because he is abusive.

Im beginning to suspect that he loves the control

That's why he does it OP: because he knows it breaks you.
It's abusive behaviour.

Some people do it because they're overwhelmed, can't cope with their emotions, never learnt/were never modelled good conflict resolution and coping strategies as a child.

None of that matters. Once you communicate once that it's not acceptable, they should change, or you should leave.

Withdrawing to process their emotions, for a short time (usually hours, max 1-2 days), and communicating clearly that that's what they're doing, and that they'll be back and will pick up the conversation then, is mature and fine.

Silent treatment, whatever the cause, it's not acceptable in adults.
There's research that shows it causes the same changes as physical pain in the brain. It's abusive, and you need to leave it he does it more than extremely occasionally, preferably only once.

Silent treatment is a pretty juvenile form of dealing with conflict, both from men and women, it is not gendered. If the question is why your man would be choosing the silent treatment, you will be the best person to solve it.. He has low emotional intelligence, retreats and shuts the world out when frustrated, never learned what healthy communication looks like, learned to deal with conflict like this with mom and dad, maybe he is an inconsiderate arse as a person, or doesn't respect you, and the list goes on...so many possible answers.

Is it silent treatment or are they just struggling to communicate? It's different. For a long time I would shut down and struggle to talk about how I was feeling. Autistic and alexithymia. But ignoring you or refusing to engage at all is very different.

Have you tried to address this before?

There's a book about it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656/

I have but I always just end up apologising to keep the peace even if im not sure what i have done wrong.

You shouldn't have to apologise to keep the peace when you haven't done anything wrong. Would you consider taking The Freedom Program?

https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

If he is so controlling that he makes you feel bad about going out with friends without him you need to end the relationship.

Heres a link to the PDF for Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft
https://ia801407.us.archive.org/6/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

It's an emotionally abusive behaviour.

He's training you to accept blame, not challenge him and revolve your world around his mood.

Leave. ASAP

Its not that easy because we work together too

I personally think men are more prone to the silent treatment than women.

"Why" isn't really the right question (although the Lundy Bancroft book is excellent and worth reading). But overall, "why?" leads to excuses and justification and accepting shitty treatment. The more important questions are "what is he doing?" and "how do you feel about it?". Based on the answers to those questions, you can decide whether this is tolerable or not.

If you have and he won’t listen then that is not good.

if he needs space then fine as long as he communicates that. If he doesn’t and will then only break the silent treatment when you apologise to keep the peace then that will eat away at you.

have you got kids? If not I’d be off like a shot and probably change my job.

Is it a family business or just being employees at the same workplace?

This isn’t a standard thing that men do. It’s your particular man behaving like a prick.

Your man is abusive and does this because he can. He feels he is doing nothing wrong re you.

Re you working with him are you employees or are you working in his business?. Regardless it’s over between you and he because silent treatment is an example of emotional abuse.

Ask him

If i ask i will be in the wrong