When did you move in with your partner?

[worldshottestmom]

Doing a bit of reflection right now and thinking about various aspects of my last relationship, and what specifically I should avoid if I decide to pursue another relationship in the future.

One thought that came to mind is that we moved in together was I was 19 and he was 20, after only a year of being together. I think now that this was no age to be moving in with someone tbh, especially still being in uni (though circumstances at the time made it inevitable, really). I think this set up the foundations of our relationship poorly, in that we didnt have that space to ourselves for respite away from a fairly new relationship. It was all very rushed.

I feel like im a bit anxious about this after being love-bombed early in my last relationship, and the push to move in so quickly was probably another abuse tactic. Now the thought of living with a man again (which i wont be doing any time soon, or potentially ever) sounds nightmarish to me. I think it would take a long time of dating before id ever be comfortable moving anybody into my family's home.

When did you move in with your partner, and how long do you think a couple should wait before moving in?

I understand that age and personality affects this heavily, and its everyone's individual choice etc etc etc, but its just a general question, how long do you think one should wait before moving in with a partner?

We pretty much moved in with each other after about 6months to a year. I was 17 when we got together. We would stay at my parents Mon-Fri and his on wkends. Very rarely would we go a night of staying at our own place alone. We then bought a house together when I was 22.

I’m 40 now and looking back I think it all
got too serious way too quickly. Although it worked out for us.

As an adult now I’d imagine I would probably move in after a year or so. I’d be a lot more careful though about being tied up with them financially so quickly. I wouldn’t purchase a house with them initially but maybe after 2-3 years would.

This is great advice, and im glad it worked out for you! I think renting long term at first, or living in either partners house would be much better than buying a house together so quickly. We moved in together because his mum kicked him out at the age of 20, and I had just finished my 1st year of uni so was looking at places anyway. Was just a horrible mistake tbh and I've definitely learnt from that.

I think it really depends on your age/circumstances but I’d also be mindful to make sure you don’t let circumstances dictate/rush living together for the sake of convenience before you’re actually ready and want to live together.

My husband & I met young and lived together pretty quickly by choice and bought out first house together after about 3 years once we had a deposit saved, I wouldn’t have wanted to buy any sooner than that really even if we had the deposit together because it is so messy, complicated and expensive to sort out a house you have both bought and own.

I tend to think in my own experience and that of my friends/family you’re best to wait until you WANT to live together, that timeline will look different for every couple but I have rarely seen it work well where for whatever reason couples have moved in together because it seemed cheaper/convenient when really they weren’t ready.

I met my wife when I was 41 and she was 35. We moved in to a house five years later, and married two years after that.

I've lived with 5 different men in my life, always way too soon! (After a year at most).

I finally bought a flat of my own and left my current partner - we got back together after a year (hence current) but don't cohabit, and I can't imagine ever doing so again.

I am not sure why I always saw cohabitation as the only option. It really isn't, and it's not for everyone.

When we got married, after about eighteen months.

In my late teens/20s, within a year. It’s just like having a housemate at that age. It wasn’t like a serious relationship, it was fun. In one case, we had another housemate too.

With Dh, we officially moved in together after about 2 years and maybe 10 months, because we were long distance, different countries. We would fly to see each other and spend anything from a few weeks to 3 months together and then one of us would have to fly home. We only properly moved in together just before 3 years and got married a couple months later.

We moved in together after nearly three years together but only because I got diagnosed with cancer and needed someone to look after me after my surgeries and chemo.

I met dh at university when we were 18 and 19.

We got together when we were 20 and 21.

We moved in together when we were 23 and 24.

We got engaged when we were 24 and 25 and got married when we were 26 and 27.

We have been married for 15 years this summer.

I was just turned 18 and he was 21. We moved in together about three months after we met. It would have been quite a bit sooner but in those days, many landlords wouldn’t rent flats to unmarried couples so it took us a while to find somewhere to live. I think we both knew within a month that we wanted to spend our lives together. We bought our first flat two years later. We’re 68 and 71 now.

I think this is great advice with a sound take home point. Me and my ex really weren't ready at such a young age, and who we were as people at the time. Circumstances during that time just made it so much worse, too.

I just can't imagine ever wanting to live with a man again tbh. But maybe that's just where I'm at right now. I would never welcome someone into my home for financial reasons, either. I feel I wouldn't let anyone in for quite a long time, which could potentially cause issues within a relationship, too. I just hope that I would want to and feel safe to at some point.

I feel that's the kind of time scale I would be on

Hm, interesting perspective, I respect it. In an ideal world this is potentially how I would want to live. But I'm not sure many men my age these days would be happy with that.

After we married having been together 2 years. We would have moved in together sooner but he was a student and moving in wasn’t possible.

That's beautiful, I love this

My ex DH moved into my rented flat after 6 weeks and we bought a house together after 6 months together.

We were together nearly 25 years before splitting amicably

We moved in together after about six months. We were both in our early 30s with established careers, and I also had my own house which we rented out for a few years, so I knew I could go back there if living together hadn’t worked. We also lived about 30 miles away from each other, which was another factor in moving in together reasonably quickly. No regrets at all - he’s sitting next to me on the sofa now, we’re still living together and are happily married.

My now husband moved into my flat share, and we got together two weeks into living together and have been together ever since. That was over 7 years ago

My first husband after a year I was 21, way too young . My now DH we moved in together after 5 years together and had a child together 3 years after that . I had 3 kids from my first marriage and wanted to be as sure as I could this would be for keeps , didn’t want different men in and out of their lives .

I moved into DH’s house after being together for four months. I was 33 and he was 32. I remember crying the night I officially moved out of my own flat wondering if I’d made a terrible mistake. He sadly died very suddenly 7 years later and I have zero regrets about anything. I wanted to be with him every single minute of every single day and I knew the day I met him that he was my soulmate.

5 years. I had kids and didn’t want to rush it.

After about 4 months.
However, we were 27 and 28 and we “just knew” we were going to be in for the long term.

Well been with current partner for nearly 11 years and no intentions of moving in together

We didn’t have an official moving in date but we first met middle of march and when I bought a new car in the September, I registered it to my now-husband’s address so about six months? Rather quick I suppose but we were 21 and 23 and no dependants or anything, so it was only our lives affected iyswim. From the moment I met him, I wanted to spend every second I could with him, and vice versa, thankfully!

5 years, after we got married.