When did you move in with your partner?

[worldshottestmom]

Doing a bit of reflection right now and thinking about various aspects of my last relationship, and what specifically I should avoid if I decide to pursue another relationship in the future.

One thought that came to mind is that we moved in together was I was 19 and he was 20, after only a year of being together. I think now that this was no age to be moving in with someone tbh, especially still being in uni (though circumstances at the time made it inevitable, really). I think this set up the foundations of our relationship poorly, in that we didnt have that space to ourselves for respite away from a fairly new relationship. It was all very rushed.

I feel like im a bit anxious about this after being love-bombed early in my last relationship, and the push to move in so quickly was probably another abuse tactic. Now the thought of living with a man again (which i wont be doing any time soon, or potentially ever) sounds nightmarish to me. I think it would take a long time of dating before id ever be comfortable moving anybody into my family's home.

When did you move in with your partner, and how long do you think a couple should wait before moving in?

I understand that age and personality affects this heavily, and its everyone's individual choice etc etc etc, but its just a general question, how long do you think one should wait before moving in with a partner?

my now husband moved into my house four months after we met, I was 38, he was 41. Neither married before. We were engaged two months later and married 21months after meeting (would have been sooner but circumstances didn’t allow). Now we have 3 kids and our 10year “meeting” anniversary is this year.

If it helps, you don't necessarily ever need to move in together.

My Mum and my Step Dad never did, even after they got married. They both had their own homes that they loved, he still had teenage kids for the first 10 years of their relationship, and my Mum was way past wanting to deal with that life stage (she had Grandkids by that point)

So they both kept their own houses and split their time between them. Every week, a few nights at his, a few nights at her, and night or two by themselves. It meant they both had their own spaces when they wanted it, but still had that companionship.

I don't know how long it would have lasted. My Mum died in her early 60s of cancer (and my Step-Dad pretty much moved in with her for her last 6 months), but if she'd not died young I reckon they would have probably moved in together once they both retired and hit their 70s.

Met at 23 (me) and 26 (him), moved in together when we’d been together 2 years. We were both in flatshares having fun with friends - the first time our contracts were up for renewal it seemed a bit too soon (we’d been together about 10m), so we signed for a second rent year in the house shares. We did live 4 mins walk from each other in that second year so it was kind of the best of both worlds! I’d stay over his and then head back to my flat in the morning to use my (nicer) shampoo and proper hairdryer 😅

We rented together for 18m after moving in together and then bought our first flat at 27 and 30.

This made me so nostalgic lol. I enjoyed the days of living in separate uni dorms and spending time at eachothers room, longing to see them. A distant but pleasant feeling.

Im glad it worked out for you, I think from this thread its clear that every timeline for moving in is so unique to the relationship that there cant ever be a general rule.

This comment made me feel safe, lol. That sounds so ideal for me, i just feel like it would be like finding a needle in haystack finding a man that would be ok with that arrangement, especially at my age. One can only hope. Thank you!

This is exactly my problem. I could never introduce a man to my kids unless we'd been together for a long while and I was sure it was forever. How old were you when you met your DH? I feel like so many men my age would not be ok with living separate for so long, but maybe im just overthinking it.

We were both 22 and had been together for 2.5 years. After uni we rented a house together for a couple of years to make sure we liked living together before we bought a house together.

Living alone together relationships are pretty common, especially in older years. I know quite a few LAT couples - they see each other every couple of days, go on holidays, do fun stuff together, help each other out when they're sick, but keep their own places and don't mingle their finances. The guys do tend to want to move in initially but the women make it clear from the beginning that they're not budging. All of the LAT couples I know seem to have very harmonious relationships.

A guy who doesn't accept what you want isn't the guy for you.

You might be surprised. While most people thought my Mum's situation was a little odd, an awful lot of them ended up saying that it sounds like an ideal idea!

It obviously has it's downsides, bills for two houses, either lugging clothes around or realising what you want to wear is at the other house, it also definitely has it's upsides.

And there's an awful lot of divorced Dad's out there who might not want to have a new partner live with them until the kids have left home.

We officially moved in together about 10 months after we met. We were engaged a month later and I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks after our 1 year anniversary (of meeting).

We waited 18 months to get married so that I wasn’t pregnant for the wedding and we’ve been together almost 5 years now (now a family of 4).

I was 27 when we met, but I’d had a couple of other long term relationships before where I never even considered moving in or building a life together.

@worldshottestmom he was 30 when he moved in and I was 36, he is a very laid back person so was quite happy just waiting until I was ready .

I met xh at university when we were 18 and 19.

We got together when we were 19 and 20.

We moved in together when we got married, aged 22 and 23.

We were married for over 20 years.

I don't think I want to live with a man again. I've loved having my own space for the past 6 years.

Ah very similar to me and dh but just a couple of decades earlier.

I totally get enjoying your space! If dh and I ever split up or if (god forbid) he passed away, I don't think I'd cohabit again