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Original poster

Boyfriend cheated with sex workers

41 replies

Forkinell · 10/03/2026 06:24

So,
been seeing a man since last summer. I was very protective of myself and my home environment but he really was understanding and I let my guard down. He’s taken me on holidays, got on really well with my son (older child) and generally seemed amazing. Everyone was so happy for me that I finally met a man who was treating me how I deserve.

i saw something on his phone by chance (I’ve never had any suspicions ever, we have both had many convos about how loyalty is so important etc) to suggest he was asking a prostitute to meet up. Then as I looked, there are many, many more messages to many workers. Some I can tell he’s deleted but forgot to delete their reply.
he says he has visited them 4 times, twice to a massage parlour (ick) and twice visits to escorts but no penetration (wow thank god thanks pal) he was messaging them as recently as Thursday. I saw this all on Friday.

the language he was using to them strongly suggests he knew exactly what he was talking about and was a regular user.

I have obviously binned him off. Just needed some support really

OP posts:
Mydogisagentleman · 10/03/2026 06:26

Support with what.
You've already done the necessary.
Well done

Frazzledandfried · 10/03/2026 06:28

Go and get an STI test and block the fucker!

Buffypaws · 10/03/2026 06:29

Men are gross. He thinks women are there to buy and sell for his sexual pleasure. A disgusting sack of shit. And of course pretends to be a completely different person as he can’t own being a sack of shit. Thank goodness you found out. You will be fine. He will always be a man who did these things.

Original poster
Forkinell · 10/03/2026 06:31

Mydogisagentleman · 10/03/2026 06:26

Support with what.
You've already done the necessary.
Well done

Yeah you’re right. I just feel humiliated tbh and had to get it off my chest

OP posts:
AmandaBrotzman · 10/03/2026 06:31

Mydogisagentleman · 10/03/2026 06:26

Support with what.
You've already done the necessary.
Well done

Support with what? You're full of empathy aren't you?!

OP I am so sorry. What a shock.

HangryBrickShark · 10/03/2026 06:32

So sorry. Plenty more fish. Lots of love ❤️

Lennonjingles · 10/03/2026 06:33

I am sorry, you let this guy get close, so it must hurt that you found this out. He knew that trust was important to you, but obviously not enough to stop contacting the other women. I agree you don’t know if he’s telling the truth about not sleeping with them, so you need to get checked for any STI’s.

Daleksatemyshed · 10/03/2026 06:59

You feel humiliated Op but you've done all the right things, you didn't lie to yourself that he'd stop now, you just dumped him so well done you. It's nothing to do with not being enough for him sexually or being too trusting, he's not capable of a mature, loving relationship. You'll soon get over him @Forkinell

Endofyear · 10/03/2026 07:02

So sorry OP, what a horrible shock when you think you know someone and they turn out to be deceptive and not who you thought 😕 well done for ending it immediately, you've done the right thing. Please don't feel humiliated, you haven't done anything to deserve this - it's all on him, he's disgusting.

Do get yourself tested for STIs, just in case. Look after yourself, talk to your close friends and lean on them for a bit of support. Try and eat well, get enough sleep and be kind to yourself 💐

Edinburghdaze · 10/03/2026 07:07

Sorry this has happened to you but you are not to blame. He is.

if you heard about it happening to someone else what would you think? That they were a fool and should have done differently? No! You would have compassion for them so please show similar compassion to yourself.

He has been a liar and you have acted as soon as you found out - you are a strong person who has acted on your values.

guineawheek · 10/03/2026 07:08

I have just been in this position. Found out that my loving boyfriend, the man I had struggled through 3 pregnancy losses with was a habitual user of sex workers.
He's now behaving like hes the victim because I didn't keep his "mistakes" secret from friends, family or work colleagues. The most recent ones he was booking them before the 12 week scan, when I was telling him how anxious I was after previous losses and then after I'd had surgical management for MMC identified at the 12 week scan.
They don't change- he used to wax lyrical about how he was too lazy to cheat. He did all the "I'm a monster speech, I'm so ashamed" but you know what if he was that ashamed he wouldn't have done it.

Bin him off, be thankful you found out now and make sure you take care of your health.

Zanatdy · 10/03/2026 07:09

Bless you. What a disgusting man. I’d just be blocking him as no matter what he says, he will do it again. And even if he didn’t, how do you move on from your partner using sex workers?

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 10/03/2026 07:14

Shame needs to swap sides. You have nothing to be humiliated about.

He’s done a good job of pretending not to be a worm, but you’ve found him out for the entitled abusive creep he is. Well done you!

PinkLegoBalloon · 10/03/2026 07:17

I'm sorry op. This sucks.

Also why is he lying about no penetration? He's an idiot.

This isn't your fault and you shouldn't feel ashamed.

Do get an sti check if you haven't already.

TheThingOnTheIce · 10/03/2026 08:07

It’s awful op
my last ex seemed so genuine and caring . I never got solid proof but I think there was something very untoward going on behind my back . The last straw was finding used bondage tape in his bedside drawer. I’m still struggling getting my head around it 6 months later .

he also visited Thai massage parlours . Which on its own might not have made me suspicious but added to everything else I was worried about it makes me think he was also like your ex .

Holdmeclosertinydancer2018 · 10/03/2026 12:13

I'm really not the greatest fan of most men tbh, a large majority just sre not trustworthy when it comes to their dicks. Being cheated on and deceived is bad enough but it's definitely worse when it's a man who you really thought you could trust because you end up feeling like you can't even trust your own judgement.

Sending hugs OP. I know the pain you're in all too well but it will get easier day by day. Allow yourself to grieve and then when you're ready, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and begin your life again xx

Holdmeclosertinydancer2018 · 10/03/2026 12:13

I'm really not the greatest fan of most men tbh, a large majority just sre not trustworthy when it comes to their dicks. Being cheated on and deceived is bad enough but it's definitely worse when it's a man who you really thought you could trust because you end up feeling like you can't even trust your own judgement.

Sending hugs OP. I know the pain you're in all too well but it will get easier day by day. Allow yourself to grieve and then when you're ready, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and begin your life again xx

Duvetdayneeded · 10/03/2026 12:19

He was the weak loser and you were the stronger brave one to dump him so as long as you never go back, you have nothing to be embarrassed about

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 10/03/2026 12:22

Forkinell · 10/03/2026 06:31

Yeah you’re right. I just feel humiliated tbh and had to get it off my chest

Show quote history

What's there to be humiliated about?

He's a shitty person who did a shitty thing, you found out about it and ditched him immediately. You've behaved impeccably.

Who you are has absolutely no bearing on his actions. The sort of man who goes to visit prostitutes is going to do so no matter who he's in a relationship with. It wouldn't matter if you were a 20 year old nymphomaniac supermodel, he'd still be seeing prostitutes, because he's the sort of man who gets off on paying for sex.

Your only thing you did wrong was pick him, and how could you make any other choice when he actively chose to hide who he is from you.

Raspberrymoon49 · 10/03/2026 12:23

Another loser, so many of them, hope you meet someone decent OP

outerspacepotato · 10/03/2026 12:36

He was really deceptive. It's a good thing you found out though. There is nothing for you to be embarrassed about, he hid this from you.

You need STI testing. He's lied to you and can't be trusted. There's also STIs that can be spread through non penetrative sex so that's no guarantee.

TwistedWonder · 10/03/2026 12:42

So sorry OP. It’s shit when you find out they’re not the person they pretended to be.

Well done for being decisive and dumping the sleazy fucker straight away. The shame is 100% on him not you.

Grieve the loss of the person you thought he was, cry your tears, dust yourself down and hold your head high.

Wetwipe44 · 10/03/2026 12:54

I was told on the weekend of a male doing this and I know his girlfriend they have three children it’s so disgusting he went to a massage parlour because (there’s no trace) I feel like I should tell her but I’m not that close and don’t know if mentally I can deal with it. I think it’s absolutely disgusting thing to do to a women and I’m glad your doing what’s best for you. It’s not a show of your worth but rather his inability to enjoy and love one women and his views on women it’s so disgusting and I so sorry! (This was my daughters dad too he still buy prostitutes I’m now happy!) xx

Imbusytodaysorry · 10/03/2026 12:58

Mydogisagentleman · 10/03/2026 06:26

Support with what.
You've already done the necessary.
Well done

Seriously ?!
It feels horrible to be betrayed and especially in this way .

DaisyChain505 · 10/03/2026 13:00

You have nothing to be ashamed of, he does.

This must feel really horrible, I’m sorry @Forkinell