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Original poster

Does 'the one' actually exist?

50 replies

Eesha · 09/03/2026 20:05

Just thinking about this. I never used to think it did but when I was with a previous partner, I fell head over heels. It was so much more than anything I felt before. But it didn't work out, so is there another 'one' out there? Or is there just one.

OP posts:
Sally2791 · 09/03/2026 20:07

No. We imagine this in the throes of lust but it’s not true.

Namingbaba · 09/03/2026 20:08

Saying “the one” implies there is just one and almost seems like it’s a fate type situation which works in stories but not in real life. If things were different and I never met my husband I’m sure I could have found love with someone else.

TheHillIsMine · 09/03/2026 20:08

I kind of think there is more than one the one. I have been properly in love twice in my life and numerous times thought I was. Right now, I'm kind of having a thing with the one I would have said was the love of my life as I fell in love with him all over again. So I do wonder.

Plus, I instantly stopped loving the second one and now I just think it all meant nothing. Th other guy, it was real as we never stopped thinking about each other or loving each other.

TheThingOnTheIce · 09/03/2026 20:08

In a world of over 8 billion people ? Naaah

CraftyNavySeal · 09/03/2026 20:09

No.

There’s a Tim Minchin song If I didn’t Have You (I’d probably have someone else) which sums it up.

skippy67 · 09/03/2026 20:09

I don't believe in "The One". Given that there are millions of people in the world, the likelihood that there's one person who you're meant to be with is ridiculous. I think we find someone we like/love, and they feel the same, so we stop looking for anyone else. Or ar least we should...

margaritabonita · 09/03/2026 20:09

There’s too much psychology at play for there to be only one. But I agree we sometimes feel meant to be when you click with someone on every level and have a healthy relationship.

Jellybunny56 · 09/03/2026 20:10

I’m not sure I believe in “the one” as in literally just one person in the whole world, but I do believe there are several “the ones” as in people who really are right for you and suit you.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 09/03/2026 20:10

I think there is more than one “the one”.

nogainjustpain · 09/03/2026 20:11

Nah I don’t believe in ‘the one’ or soulmates. I think some people are more compatible than others but not necessarily destined to be. I’ll happily be proven wrong though and am open to meeting them should they appear at the only places I go - my workplace, gym or local supermarket 😂

Waitingfordoggo · 09/03/2026 20:25

Agree with PPs. There is more than one ‘one’. My DH and I grew up a mile away from each other and attended the same schools. If he really was the only ‘one’, I would find that a remarkable coincidence.

SwedishEdith · 09/03/2026 20:31

No. And everyone who talks about "the one" always seems to find them relatively easily within a 30 mile radius of where they live.

LittleJustice · 09/03/2026 20:31

No I don't think there is just one "the one", I think there's lots of people who you could probably make a very comfortable life with.

It's all about having shared interests and shared values and them being a decent person and treating you with respect and you feeling the same way about them.

MrThorpeHazell · 09/03/2026 20:49

No, "the one" does not exist, anymore than "fate", "destiny" or "karma" exist.

ThatCyanCat · 09/03/2026 20:58

Of course not, but if you make a life with one of the numerous people who exist who are compatible with you, and you're fortunate, they will become the one.

painthisbathroom · 09/03/2026 21:07

No and love is just a bunch of chemicals. Trust no one! Grin

Hotandpointy · 09/03/2026 21:10

No, only naive romcom fans believe in “the one” surely?

exhaustedmum24 · 09/03/2026 21:11

No it’s all BS

PeonyPatch · 09/03/2026 21:12

No, I don’t think there is. I think there could be a love (or more) of your life… in that, it is someone you are head over heels for… but that’s not to say you cannot go on to meet another person like this that you are drawn towards. Or maybe you won’t. It doesn’t make them THE one.

“The one” is romanticized, rom-com, airy fairy bullsh*t.

ThatCyanCat · 09/03/2026 21:19

Some people have a genuine love and are bereaved and then find a second genuine love.

boxofbuttons · 09/03/2026 21:25

No, as in I don't believe there's one single person you're meant to be with and if that doesn't work out then tough. Statistically it makes no sense: if you've got however many billions of people in the world, and yet a good chunk of people meet their 'one' within 50 miles of where they live? And also practically it doesn't make sense: if they're 'the one' by some special force of fate, then nobody who meets 'the one' would ever break up, surely.

mindutopia · 09/03/2026 21:27

I absolutely know that Dh is the best person I could have ended up with. There were a lot of sliding doors moments that got us here, never mind a long distance relationship from opposite sides of the world. I’ve absolutely had relationships that were heady and exciting before I met Dh. But I’ve never been sure that anyone else was the person I was meant to spend my life with. 18 years on, I am as sure as I was when we decided this was it after 6 months together.

I don’t really buy into the concept that there is only one person for everyone. But I’m sure Dh is the one person for me. If anything ever happened to him, I certainly wouldn’t be looking to meet anyone else. They just would never measure up, so would be a bit of a hopeless endeavour.

yesohno · 09/03/2026 21:31

MrThorpeHazell · 09/03/2026 20:49

No, "the one" does not exist, anymore than "fate", "destiny" or "karma" exist.

This! Exactly this.

ShowOfHands · 09/03/2026 21:47

The only people I know irl who insist they believe in soulmates or "the one" tend to find themselves in faintly damaging or unequal partnerships where they excuse behaviours or erode boundaries in the name of "true love." Humans are pretty predictable, particularly in socio-economic or cultural groupings. Finding common ground is likely and sexual attraction coalesces that common ground into something people like to feel is unique.