Anyone remained single years after divorce?

[Misty9]

Just wondering if anyone is still single years after divorcing, and 50 50 parenting? The loneliness is crippling sometimes... do you feel the same? How do you cope? I'm mid 40s and it feels like that ship has sailed for me, especially with the state of online dating. The dc are getting older and more independent, so need me less in the week they're with me. Hard not to think of a future alone.

I don’t know if it’s an age thing (I’m 60) but no ive never felt like this.

I don’t feel invisible or treated differently. I have single friends and couple friends and I honestly don’t feel I get treated like a single person by the couples.

I do think the older you get the less you care about how others judge you and you just get on with living life your way - well that’s how I feel anyway.

Following with interest. I separated from my husband 7 months ago and I have zero plans to ever pursue romantic relationships ever again! I am put off for life 🤣 I am mid forties and plan to spend time with my kids, see friends and get some cats 🐈

Those who have stayed single for years - do you have a big family/siblings etc? My concern is that my family is tiny and once my parents pass then it’ll just be me left with a few distant relatives who I don’t see much of.

I’m 50/50 and 7 yrs on. Never thought of dating really. Can’t be bothered. Have a decent social life and like to also spend time on my own chilling. I love it to be fair. Why do you feel lonely? Do you get out and socialise?

Me! Ex left when son was 2.5 years old and I’ve remained single since. So 13 years this year. I decided never again. He left for OW, I thought he was my person, a demon emerged. I no longer trust my judgement. Our son has SN, so I concentrated on him. Ex hasn’t bothered to see him for almost 8 years now. I have a very full life, lots of friends, a wonderful family and a job I love. I also have somebody to have sex with when it suits me. That’s enough for me!

I’ve got quite a small family and don’t know many people locally as moved to a new area around Covid times and so getting to meet new people was hard, and post Covid social stuff kind of reduced even more. My kids and job keep me exhausted so I don’t have much time or energy for anything really. I just want mr right to fall from the sky, searching for someone is just too hard. I’m also not a fan of casual stuff having learned some hard lessons meeting people through apps, that ain’t for me.

I have elderly parents not in great health, a sister who lives 3 hours away, a brother who is very rarely in the country and one adult son so my family is tiny.

I’ve made a good social group though. I have plenty of great women who I socialise with, go away with and holiday abroad with. I’ve had two short breaks already this year and several more trips planned. I did put in a lot of effort reaching out when I was first so the and it’s been worth the work as I wouldn’t be without the new friends I’ve added to my circle.

No, I don’t. I have a sister who I’m not at all close to. And some nieces and nephews ditto. And I have an only child. But, I’m sure as hell, not going to partner up into a disappointing relationship just for security. Which isn’t real anyway as we all know. I’m more focused on making my own life richer

Maybe you’re putting your own feelings onto something. I don’t suppose other people really think or care too much about my relationship status. You have a valid place in the world, inhabit it.

I think I would be fine if I could just find some friends in the same boat , which I have tried. And whilst I see posts like this all the time on mn I’m finding it hard to find people in the same situation as me irl

Yes, later life is not like being at uni, with a good crowd of single friends, and it can be so hard to cultivate this, even with the best efforts

10 years divorced here, kids grown and one flown the nest. there are times when I feel a bit lonely but can’t see me ever being in a relationship again.
i can honestly say that in those 10 years no man has ever shown any interest in me ( I think I must have ‘resting bitch face’!)
after the stuff my ex got up to I wouldn’t ever trust anyone again, or should I say I wouldn’t trust my own judgment. I know there are good men out there but unfortunately they’re married to my friends!

I divorced 23 years ago in my late 40s. My DC were 16 and 18 at the time. I know that parenting is not the same at that age as it is when they are little, but they still do need you quite a lot. Ex emigrated almost immediately and remarried within a few weeks of our decree absolute, so he really hasn't had much to do with the DC apart from 2 or 3 holidays. I haven't dated at all or even tried to - I am now 70.

I decided early on that I definitely would never marry again, never share finances again and never share my home in any permanent way. I mostly miss chatting or talking through problems to get another perspective, but some of these problems have been about my adult children, so I feel I couldn't talk about them in the same way with someone who wasn't their father.

I am mostly content with the single life - any problems are more than balanced out by the positives - I can do more or less what I want, watch what I want on TV, spend money how I like (or not). I don't have the clouds of someone else's disapproval hanging over me, and that's worth a lot.

I'm early 60s and widowed. My two young adult DDs still live with me, so I have company. They've been away for a few days and it has been very quiet, but I'm not lonely enough to want another man in my life. I now own my house and I'm gradually getting it to how I like it. I didn't have a great marriage and don't want another bloke upsetting the status quo. All my life I've been happy in my own company, and I have my little dog to talk to (he doesn't answer back, hog the remote or abandon me for his hobbies).

I do very much recognise what @Thegrassroots26 says about people thinking "well its your own fault" - that sort of thing. I'm in my early 60s, I've had financial problems since the divorce and it's very much "well you know what you should've done don't you", tut tut. I've even had people ask , 4 years post split "will you go back to him now then?" ...

i got divorced after being married 8 yrs
After that it was ds & I, 10 yrs on our own

I met someone just out if the blue, wasn’t looking at all.
went out with him for 18 mths , I owed my own house he rented
we bought House together with me using my equity for my full deposit, he got mortgage for the rest.
We've been together 23 yrs, we’ve had lots if arguments , I found it so hard to live with someone again , on your own you make all the decisions and do exactly what you want

I should have stayed on my own , it’s far far much easier but at 68 now harder to start again. Plus the older men get the grumpy and lazy they get

Ive never been married but after my last break-up i said id never go though that drama again, 13 years now and love it.
I have been with men but only as a hook up on holidays, no strings attached.

I was single for 6.5 years after separation. One DC now at uni and one going this year.

It was deliberate as I didn’t want to upend DC’s life any further by bringing a man into the mix. However a friend persuaded me to go on the apps and I thought I’d poke my nose in and see what it was all about. Given friends experiences I was expecting a complete shit show but ended up meeting a lovely man who ive been seeing almost a year.

I have loads of friends and hobbies so wasn’t expecting to meet anyone who could add to my life. But so far he has, and it’s lovely. I’m not really sure whether I’d want to ever live with anyone again and def no marriage but I’m enjoying this interlude in my early 50’s 😊

Not read all the posts, but just saying that l (unexpectedly) found enduring love in my mid to late forties.

It began as friends, and continued that way for a few years, as I had not the remotest idea that he saw me as a love interest.
I very much saw him as a “best mate” kind of thing, coz he was very in tune with his emotions, and was understanding of mine.

I dunno quite how it changed into what we have now.

I guess coz we both honestly chatted about our attitudes to relationships, we became closer.
Maybe it developed the way it did, as I for one, didn’t feel there was any hidden agenda.

Please don’t allow your age tag to dictate whether or not love is possible.

Of course you can put up “walls” to prevent being hurt, but that same “wall” could also stop you from having a relationship thats totally worthwhile and wonderful.

I wish you luck, coz I was alone for many years prior to meeting my guy, and it very much felt like love wouldn’t happen.

My mum is in the same position and I think that is also what has solidified for me that I will never want to live with another man ever. She was with my dad for almost 30 years, then got divorced and she then met her current partner. They have been together 25 years now and they are both late 70s. He has changed beyond recognition. He watches TV from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed, he barely leaves the house, he doesn't cook, he doesn't clean, he doesn't do laundry, he has nothing of interest to talk about as all he watches is sports. She is his complete opposite. She is a member of all kinds of groups, she goes to the gym, goes swimming, has lots of friends etc. My mum feels he is too old to be asked to leave (it's her house) but she resents him and I think is just waiting for him to die now. I am absolutely not going to risk putting myself in that position.

I have three kids. That's it. No other family.