Anyone remained single years after divorce?

[Misty9]

Just wondering if anyone is still single years after divorcing, and 50 50 parenting? The loneliness is crippling sometimes... do you feel the same? How do you cope? I'm mid 40s and it feels like that ship has sailed for me, especially with the state of online dating. The dc are getting older and more independent, so need me less in the week they're with me. Hard not to think of a future alone.

I am - ex left when dd3 was 4 moths old - she’s 18 in December!

been single ever since- but I’m 56 and I’ve had enough of bloody men. I’m not lonely, I’ve got good friends and fab kids and I like my own company.

I do sometimes feel I’ve missed the boat in term of finding a ‘man’ but I really don’t feel I’m lacking anything in life and I wonder what a man would add to it now?

I was in a relationship for the first 5 years but have now been single just over 11 years. You're right about the loneliness & not having someone to share things like holidays , birthdays & Christmas. For me it's thinking that now ds is an adult had my dp still been alive we would have had time to go on holiday, go out for meals, have a life together.

I can’t see me getting in a relationship again now
thats not to say I’m happy with the way things have turned out
though I think I would be fine if I could just find some friends in the same boat , which I have tried. And whilst I see posts like this all the time on mn I’m finding it hard to find people in the same situation as me irl

I have been divorced 18 years. I have stayed single. I have no interest in another man in my life. I do miss the company sometimes and just having someone to chat to about my day.

I'm a guy just coming to the end of nearly twenty years parenting, 13 co parenting fifty fifty. I'm getting lonely and feeling like a new chapter is going to start for me but I'm not sure if I'll ever meet anyone. The world seems to have changed. I don't like the idea of going I to the sunset on my own.

Had one rebound relationship which was a mistake and now been single 6 years. I don’t really imagine I’ll ever be in a relationship again and I’m fine with that.

The pickings out there are very very slim and I have no desire to cohabit ever again.

I don’t feel lonely. I’ve got a good friendship group. I have nights out, weekends away, holidays etc and don’t miss a man at all. I love my own peace too much now..

divorced 10 years ago. Ds now at uni.

I sometimes feel lonely but wouldn’t know where to start. I last flirted in 1993 when I met my to be husband. Realistically I’d be looking at men in their late 60s. I couldn’t trust anyone.

I’m late 50s.

what I would say is that I play a few sports that I love and that’s my social life. I need to get a cat, also.

I am going through a divorce but cannot see myself seeing anyone else. However, the loneliness in my marriage was awful (married to an alcoholic) and my future is now down to me (not his sobriety). I am also a sole parent to adults and a teen so I suppose different anyway, but youngest will be an adult in 4 years. I plan on nurturing my friendships and definitely don’t want my happiness to be based on a relationship. Can you find something you love doing that is fairly sociable and happens regularly?

I was expecting to remain single but actually ended up getting married again within 3 years of my divorce. I didn't do OLD but I had known the person I married over 40yrs so the trust was there. I was mid 50's when I got divorced. Stayed in the marriage too long for fear of being alone.

You just don't know what is around the corner.

Even though I wasn't single long I loved not having XDH around to annoy and upset me. I started walking with others at the weekend and filled by time. My children were also teens.

Live your best life.

I’ve been single for 10 years since divorce.
A friend asked me if was thinking of dating again. I asked her what would I gain? She couldn’t answer that.
I don’t want a man in my house. I know there are exceptions but there appear to be very slim pickings!!

I think in your 40s you could easily meet someone online if you wanted to. I divorced at 50 and there are lots of middle aged men out there at a similar stage of life and I had two relationships of a year.

I have given up now at 60 as the calibre of men is not out there in that age group! So I would say if you feel lonely why don’t you give it a go. One day you will be as old as me and maybe even more lonely.

My mum stayed single until I was 18 and moved out of the home. To be fair, my dad had little involvement in my life, so I don’t think she had many options til I was a teenager and could be left on my own.

I am very grateful for it though because her choice in men is absolutely abysmal. She shacked up with an absolute loser when I was in my 20s and is still with him 20 years later and he slowly has sucked the life out of her over 2 decades.

I think what’s key is if you’re going to bring partners around your family, you’ve got to have dealt with your stuff so you don’t just keep repeating the same junk in a new relationship. I’m grateful I at least was an independent adult before my mum picked up the same old patterns again.

I’ve been divorced 12 years now. Had some LTR in that time but never lived with anyone. They wanted to when I didn’t, then when I did he didn’t! Turned out for the best though as I’m much happier now.
My eldest lives away at uni and youngest is in high school and we’ve adjusted to it just being us two.
I wouldn’t say I’m lonely as I do like the peace when DC is at her dads and I have plenty going on in my life. I would still like someone to share things with but as PP’s have said it’s slim and mostly broken pickings on the dating scene. So for the moment I’m enjoying my single life. It does get a bit addictive though when you embrace it. I don’t know if I could give up my peace for a man now. He’d have to tick a lot of boxes for me to even consider it.

Yeah I feel you, it’s hard and the loneliness can feel very tough at times.
I wish there was another way aside from apps which suck and don’t work for me. Just seem to meet time wasters, perverts and losers on there. Like another poster said, you never know what is around the corner though, maybe you’ll get invited somewhere and cross paths with someone, or you’ll meet someone in a random way in day to day life - it does happen. It’s tough though and aside from kids and my family I don’t see much joy or hope for my future. I don’t think we are meant to do life alone and it would be great to have someone awesome to navigate things with.

I wasn’t married but I split from my child’s father when I was 28 I’m 35 now and I’ve been single since. I really can’t see that changing.

Also does anyone feel kind of invisible in society? It’s like the world caters for couples, plus if you are separated or divorced you’re treated differently to say a widow, ie it’s your own fault you’re by yourself? Or am I just being paranoid here, maybe. I just think that sometimes relationships reach a natural end and that’s really hard, but no one gives you much care or sympathy.

No , I get it.

I am just over 2.5 years since the split. Still single. Will stay that way. Totally fine with it.

I have my dc every other week which makes it really difficult to do anything regularly. I have a few hobbies which I do when I can.

I feel this a little - although some of it comes from myself. I always notice wedding rings, for example, and that groups of women are often talking about their partners. I feel inadequate somehow for not making it work. Never mind the single supplements!

Thanks for all the responses. For those suggesting I could find someone on the apps - I probably could, but I'm not willing to compromise that far! I've had many encounters and one relationship since my divorce, but it feels like enduring love isn't possible at this stage. My dc are getting older and more independent, plus I only see them half their lives, so it's hitting home more i think. I do lots of things solo, I just prefer to share experiences. I have great friends but they're mostly partnered and have busy lives. I was feeling particularly sad when I posted but it passes, I know.

I've been divorced 9 years and have been single that time. I am not 50/50 though. I've mostly had the children, except for one weekend a fortnight. I catch up with friends and have my own business, so I'm busy and occupied. I really don't miss having a relationship.

Also mid-40s, divorced for 4 years, had my kids 100% of the time but now they are adults and I'm single. I did try dating for a few months but it brought more trouble than it was worth so I gave that up. I'm luckily not lonely at all. I live in a vibrant city in Scandinavia, have all my oldest friends around me + I have made a bunch of new ones, I have a dog, hobbies, my grown kids nearby etc. I still get plenty of male attention but I don't know how I would fit a guy in as I don't want to give up on anything I currently have. I think it's definitely possible to live an entirely full life without being in a relationship. In fact most of my friends who are in longterm relatiosnhips seem quite jealous of me living on my own and having to freedom to live exactly how I want.

It’s strange as I feel at the moment being single is being driven to be the best situation you can be in. There are tons of women and some men on socials just normal people usually divorced some she kids some not saying about the single life being independent I’m surprised you haven’t seen it. I think the best thing is to build your own life and not make being in a relationship the centre as it really isn’t. It’s great if you can a good relationship a lot of the time it just doesn’t live up to expectations.

I am , 11 years this October .
I’m 50 now .
It wasn’t 50/50 parenting, I did it myself .
My youngest is 15 .
I have been seeing people here & there , never met my person at the same time .
Done casual , where it’s just for sex .
I would like to meet someone who will compliment my life , I’ve come off on line dating , just find it impossible ! .
You’re not past it OP , you’d be very surprised how you could meet someone 🤷🏻‍♀️.
The last guy I was dating , I actually met him through work .
Don’t think that you’re too old , you are 💯 not 🙌 ☺️.
Have you tried on line ?
It does work for many people x