Call him out or go ghost?

[BootsandCatss]

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months, but recently I’m noticing red flags, obviously I’m not going to pursue anything further with him, but should I call him out on this behaviour? If so what would I say? Or do I just walk away and say nothing?

Red flags I’ve noticed are the nights I’m childfree(which is rare) and if he can’t join me he’ll go in a mood because I must be spending them with someone else. Then the other day I updated my WhatsApp picture, which only family and friends can see, not very many people have my number for various reasons, he started accusing me of updating it for attention from other men, started an argument which led to him telling me he has an issue with what I wear, because I wear “revealing clothes” and he’s not ok with it. For the last 2 days I’ve taken a step back and he keeps pushing for an argument I have tried to talk to him calmly and told him to come to me respectfully with any issues he’s got and all I get is “what’s the point” but then he carries on with digs to get a reaction.

He sounds a bit dangerous… personally, for this type, ghosting and blocking might be safer. Or even put a white lie in to disappear safely.

i know you have told him that is over already but keep it in mind for any other one like him.

I know that ghosting is shit, but you should always come first.

Checked my phone after work to find texts from a number I don’t know “that it?” “Could have spooned today” “…”.

I’m gunna take a wild guess at this being the ex, the guy is delusional.

Yuck. Just block the new number

He sounds like a petulant teenager

Send one message saying 'Do not ever contact me again. If you do, I will consider it harassment and will report it to the police.' And then block him.

Perfect response. I’d deliver it by text or whatever method doesn’t require a face-to-face. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

You don't owe him a thing. He hasn't been respectful to you so you don't need to feel anything but that wind in your sails as you run away from the walking red flag.

Well done for not just sugar coating his behaviour to yourself .

I think you need to be really careful with this one OP. It's a few months in. You don't know him. These examples, a few months in ( well.anytime is bad), but this is scary to me. I'm no wall flower and my heckles went up reading this.

It's not insecurity. This is control, this is denigrating you. And he knows you a few months FFS.

Because this is a scary guy OP - with potential you may have no idea of. I suggest you don't go in Billy big balls and instead go short sweet firm and block him from every single platform in as non antagonistic way as possible.

I'd end it with a message. A very clear message.
' Please don't contact me any further. This is not working for me and I won't be communicating any further. I really wish you the best for the future ". Then block that fucker. Lock down any SMedia. Never reply again.

You have a child and have got to take these things seriously. He sounds like a fucking ghoul. Take a break from dating a while.

I'd say: I have no desire to stay in a relationship where I'm accused of flirting just for updating a family WhatsApp photo, or to have my clothing choices judged. I find this irrational, controlling behaviour and it completely turns me off. I've realised we are totally incompatible so I don't want to stay in touch. I chose to explain my reasons for ending this as I think ghosting is rude, but I won't discuss it as I've made my reasons perfectly clear.

“I’m not with anyone else, but I want to be free to meet someone who is not jealous, controlling and manipulative. Don’t contact me again.”

The number was blocked instantly and it’s the only way he can contact me as I’m not on any social media. I’m glad he’s shown this side of him so early on because it’s so much easy to cut him off, I have dealt with worse though as I’ve not always been good at spotting the red flags or early signs of controlling behaviour so I know how to keep myself safe.

I can't see why you would not send a message that you don't like the way he treats you sometimes and you don't like being with someone who doesn't trust you, so you are ending the relationship and wish him well. Why would ghosting be better than that?

Yes. My thoughts too.

He’s is projecting. I’d bet he’s the cheat and the one looking for attention .

Send one message and block . “you are a walking red flag mate and I no longer wish to be in this relationship” “Do not contact me or come near me or my property again” .!

This way you have made it clear you don’t want to be pursued and if he kicks off and dis respects your choice you can report him .

Sounds like he will bed to be reported for harassment if he doesn’t stop contacting you . You are clearly blocking him and he is finding other ways to message you .

Wonder why he has another number ?? I’d bet he’s is not the loyal type .
Not your problem though. !

Somethibg like this. Tells him why. If he starts hassling you, then block.

Sorry i see you've already dealt with it.

No need for drama re his jealousy.
Just a very simple ‘Thank you for the time we’ve spent together. This isn’t working for me /very much wish you well in the future’
Then block.
Be kind.

He’s a bully. Dump

This!

Gosh, he sounds horrid. Message him and say it's not working out then block him and don't engage. Be careful, OP, these guys can get angry very quickly when they are rejected.

Well done @BootsandCatss, you shuld be very proud of yourself.
Nicely handled.

I would make it clear that it’s over just to avoid a scenario where he might turn up at your house demanding answers or wondering what’s going on. You owe him nothing and he sounds like a twat, but for your own peace of mind I’d tell him you’re done.