Disgusted by man I’m seeing

[Realscottishhaggis]

I am still messaging and obsessed with an ex from years ago, I am now seeing someone else at the same time who knows what I went through with the man.
The relationship is chill, we get on well and I enjoy being around him but I’ve never thought of him as anything other than a friend. I do believe this is what relationships are supposed to feel like not full of drama and fights but it’s hard to adjust and I feel disgusted by him but not for any reason.
he pushed for the relationship which might be why as he asked me one day and I felt like I had to say ok now we’ve got to say I love you to each other each day and it makes me feel sick but I’ve not said anything and want to avoid him. Yes I feel bad for him and am maybe wasting his time I don’t know if I should continue to get over my ex

I suggest people stop responding to this, and especially sharing their own personal trauma. Apart from anything else, OP has omitted an entire relationship she is in, from a post asking for help with her relationship situation!

So either she is seeking attention and not being entirely honest, or she is unwell. Either way any advice any of us post is unlikely to help, and it's uncomfortable to see people sharing personal stuff and getting invested.

You are literally describing the ick

He’s not your friend.
He fancied you. That’s not a friend if he was always hoping for more.
You are now in a relationship. With this man. You are leading him on.

Break it off with you current partner. Accept that you won’t be friends. Then get some therapy.

You will lose him but he’s better off without you using him … stop being selfish!!

This new man deserves better than you. You need help or to grow up because you’re not behaving like a sensible, rational adult. You don’t need answers from strangers, the answers are plainly obvious.

You can’t. You’re being selfish. You’re stringing him along and will really hurt him, just because you want to keep him as a friend. That’s really nasty and very immature. Let him go.

Ditch all three. Your obsession with your ex is a recipe for disaster. He'll either get a restraining order against you or he'll use your obsession to his advantage. As for the others you're stringing them along. Nothing wrong with being single you need help from professionals to learn to be on your own. You don't need a relationship to define you

@Realscottishhaggis The relationship is chill, we get on well and I enjoy being around him but I’ve never thought of him as anything other than a friend. I do believe this is what relationships are supposed to feel like not full of drama and fights but it’s hard to adjust and I feel disgusted by him but not for any reason.

It sounds like you have a bizarre psychological issue if you are unable to feel attrraction to men unless there is hatred and conflict involved. That is absolutely not normal.

I am still messaging and obsessed with an ex from years ago, I am now seeing someone else at the same time who knows what I went through with the man.

On the one hand, obviously you aren't at all ready to date and shouldn't be doing it. On the other, if Guy 2 knows you're still messaging and obsessed with an ex from three years ago, and he still pushed for and wants this with you, I haven't got a huge amount of sympathy.

Yes to therapy because, obviously, this isn't normal.

I did something similar to this when I had a broken heart OP. Honestly you need to block the ex on everything & cut all communication.

tell the new guy its not working (let the poor fella down gently)

then stay single till that ex is washed right out of your hair & heart. Work on your confidence & your self esteem because girl, you deserve to be loved & feel love & what your current situation is, it’s not it.

Yes, you are wasting his time. Neither of them are for you. You shouldn’t think that a man disgusts you, that tells you everything you need to know.

This 💯

So you need to get over your ex, if this was "years ago" you may need therapy to help.

As for guy 2 its hard to know but either hes a nice guy youre using to get over someone else. Or he could be a predator sensing your vulnerability ans controlling you if he forced you to be in a relationship with you and insisting on saying I love you to each other. But whether hes the dick or you are.. guy 2 isnt helping you get over anyone and you absolutely shouldnt use him when he disgusts you because its nasty.

How can you say I love you to someone if you don't mean it? It would be physically impossible for me. Just say the feeling's not there.

You want things from one but not the other. You want to have your 'friend' whom you betrayed and lied to, by telling him you love him, yet he repulses you.
You need to break this mans heart and walk away from him & stop stringing him along.
I hope he finds a nicer woman to be with.
You're a bit of a bitch.

Tell him you need time away from all relationships to work on yourself.

Jesus Christ OP

Yes. This. What you’re saying does even make sense

Well, that's just lovely, isn't it? Reported.

It's mean to guy no.2 to keep stringing him along when you don't feel anything for him. Tell him you just want to be friends. If he can't accept that, you will probably lose his friendship, but you can't just keep going along with it when he "disgusts" you and clearly isn't the right person for you to have a relationship with.
You need to get over guy no.1 and the best way to do that is to have no contact with him. I know that sounds scary but it's true and it will work, eventually.