Sat here in tears he’s treating me like a mug

[Indieholic2]

Im questioning if I have just been putting up with a narcissist for the past 2 years

me and my partner got very rocky and I came home to my moms for the past 5 weeks we took a break from each other
weve been in contact daily and it’s been very up and down he’s been wanting to know my every movement and than blocked me because I went out for a night with my sister to let me hair down and turnt my mob of to have a night off from it all
we managed to get back on ok terms after a lot of apologies from my behalf though I question why I had to

anyway we was planning to reunite on Sunday and fix this all have a good chat and try again

anyway I go to sleep all content to be woken up at 4.30am to him liking all my old posts on insta I’m talking before we was even together post
and hearting a few old pics of me with men
2 in question are friends
and one was a ex boyfriend who I remained friends with and posted a video laughing with him years later
nothing was posted now these posts are all before I was with my partner

i did once tell my partner I didn’t want to post him on my insta wall as it was effecting my followers and I use instagram as a platform to work from
but I always posted him on my highlights and stories which are all saved and can be viewed
we argued about this back in September last year and he just got grumpy and removed my photo of his
and I didn’t mind

fb all said in a relationship
everyone knows we’re together
I didn’t see it such a issue
maybe I was wrong than i don’t know he’s got me questioning and overthinking everything atm

but regardless to this
hes now decided at 4am to heart these pics and block me on all social platforms
I don’t get why now
why not back in September

and than when i questioned him about it he had a go at me
I said we’re really arguing over posts I posted 3 years ago
we did this already
he has all his exs on fb I don’t care it’s just a social network so what
its so emotional and draining
hes now decided to leave me
cancelled our plans to meet Sunday and fix it
and said hope we can be friends

i am now crying my eyes out
trying to understand what’s just happened

ive had a month of mental abuse
sat in and been quiet dancing to his tune waiting for him to say what’s going on cos I made it clear I wanna try again he was like I don’t no what I want
yet wanted me to sit in and behave
I’ve just cracked with it all now

i feel I’ve had the piss taken out of me
i actually feel sick like im going to have a mental breakdown

everyone i know said to never go back he’s evil how he’s treating me

i don’t get what I’m getting out of posting this on here
i just want to talk to someone I am so devastated

Be devastated today
then dry your tears sweeetheart,
he has done you a massive favour.
now you do yourself a favour and never go back. EVER
you are worth more than this.

Why would you even be contemplating returning to a relationship with this man? What about his behaviour is attractive?

You are so much better off without him

I agree. Let this be a pivotal moment in your life where you decide to take no more crap. Allow yourself some wallowing then crack on with building a better life. As if you’re going to let that loser affect you that much.

Duplicate post

Firstly, he is abusive. Controlling your movements and paranoia about who you’re with. This is bad. And will only get worse.

secondly, he will come back. He will not let you go that easily, they don’t. He wants you to come grovelling and apologising to him again (like after your night out) so he holds all the power.

you have done brilliant by moving to your mums, but if you go back it will be so much harder to escape.

OP, You've been offered a lucky escape. Take it!

Run for the hills and don't look back. Your future self will be eternally grateful.

This isn’t making you happy op.

your ONLY route to happiness is to dump this horror, then if you can afford it, some counselling (if you can’t, then talk to friends)to understand why you kept taking him back despite repeated awful behaviour

From the outside, OP, it’s hard to understand what’s happening for you. From the outside, it’s really clear that he’s an abusive, controlling jerk who likes upsetting you and making you dance to his tune like a puppet.

From the outside it’s hard to understand why you stay with it. Block him on everything. Leave him blocked.

It will feel odd at first because you’ve been organising your life around not annoying him, around being pleased and relieved when he’s nice to you, apologetic when he’s been vile to you, and working at winning his favours again. That’s been a full time job for you and there will be a big empty feeling space for a while. But learn to enjoy having all that space and energy to spend on worthwhile things, not him.

Break ups hurt, even when it’s the right thing all round. Don’t let your self esteem be tied to this man who you does not make you happy. This relationship is going nowhere.

Oh this is so true. Even the worst relationship with the worst person takes time to heal from. I don't think we talk about this enough.

That awful period post break up often makes you feel as though you miss them or have made a mistake. That can lead to a poor decision to return to them. Sadly, very briefly, it can feel easier to be back with them and we get fooled by that false dawn.

We always need time to recover and heartache after any break up is normal.

He sounds immature and nasty, you've had a lucky escape. Listen to your friends and family - they know this bloke isn't good for you. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone who makes you miserable.

Dry your tears and spend time with your friends and family. Don't waste time thinking about him. Make some plans for nights out/weekends away/meeting friends and have some fun. Life's too short to waste it crying over this loser!

His behaviour suggests he's seeing someone else IMO. He's projecting. He's bringing up the past to start arguments. Removing your photos off social mediat.
Its gonna be really hard but you need to leave this relationship and stop dancing to his tune.

This is all so childish.

Just separate and move on from each other.
Life’s too short.

He’s an idiot and to me frankly sounds abusive. You do not need to account to him for your movements. You should be able to go out with your sister without such a ridiculous reaction which is just designed to control you. As is all the ‘ups and downs’- he is deliberately creating a dynamic where you become smaller and smaller as you accommodate his moods in an attempt to avoid the lows. Honestly life does not need to be this stressful. Any partner needs to build you up not tear you down. I know now you may feel really upset but I think in part you are mourning the loss of what could have been, but never was. The relationship was not a healthy one. You need to be with someone who treats you well. He may try claim that he ‘forgives’ you at some point and wants to get back together and I think you should focus on steeling yourself against that because it is sheer nonsense and it would be buying in again to the dynamic that he is deliberately creating where he calls the shots. You really don’t need this. I know I don’t know you but I want the best for you and have no other motive. He on the other hand has reason to make you feel small so he can get what he wants. You deserve so much better.

You’re well rid.

Block him and run. Read your post back and pretend it’s from a friend. What would be your advice. Narcissistic, manipulative and controlling behaviour will destroy you. What if you have children? Nothing is insurmountable, please exit this whole shitshow and look after yourself.

Sounds like a lucky escape! This kind of man can be really difficult/dangerous to leave. Move on and soon you will be thriving! And I promise it will be sooner than you think. All the best sweets x

Dry your tears and make a solemn promise to yourself that you'll never cry over him again as he's simply not worth that type of emotional energy. I had to do that once with an ex and it was empowering.

Dumping you is to scare you into behaving yourself

Christ alive. And you think him leaving is a bad thing?

This one of threads threads that as an outsider looking in is almost impossible to believe because it’s as clear as day he’s an abusive piece of shit waving more red flags than the Chinese army who isn’t worth a minute of your time.

Stop doing the pick me dance begging for a few crumbs - your self esteem will thank you one day.
Please stay single for now, do the freedom programme and try to work out your self respect so you never allow yourself to be treated like crap by a scummy twat again.

I dated one of these OP, I used to tie myself in knots to try and keep him happy. My friend used to call him blockbuster because he’d block and unblock me all the time. Looking back I’m embarrassed that I put up with any of it, it was all so toxic and pathetic

here’s his next move, mark my words
he’ll get hold you and ask to go ahead meeting
that meeting will be all “you know I don’t like xyz on your social media, I’m sorry for reacting like that but it IS your fault”
he’ll expect you to grovel and apologise so he can tell you “hm, I’m not sure I can trust you, maybe we’re better as friends”

this is all a power play from him and it won’t end, he thrives of this dynamic. Take back control and be done with this fucker, honestly it’ll be the best thing you ever do

I tried to be friends with my ex, I even let him stay at my (empty) house with his kids in lockdown when he had no where to go. The last conversation I had whilst “friends” was him saying “well you are toxic though aren’t you?”. I put the phone down, blocked him and never looked back. I was really heartbroken at the time, I did truly love him but I was done with his head fuck games. That was nearly six years ago now and he has tried to get into contact since then. I’m now in a long term healthy relationship now with a lovely, calm man

I promise you’ll look back on this one day and wonder wtf you were thinking

He is massively abusive.

Stay as far away as possible and dump him, he is absolutely terrible. Block him on everything and never go back.

What? Break up. Block him. Grow a spine. Stay away from this disgusting man.