It is what it is?

[Howtodate]

So I was dating a guy for 5 months and he was very serious about me at the beginning. He did a lot for me beyond the bare minimum. The thing is that i was still not over my ex and there was a comparison in my head all the time. That this guy wasn't like my ex and he is not for me. This lasted for 3 months of our relationship and maybe he felt that I wasn't invested. He is also training as a policeman and he didn't have a lot of free time to go out with his friends or me. We was going out only once in a week. Then I had an exam period and I became distant because I was studying all day and night and he showed respect. He only wanted to see me for an hour. When the exam period was over I was sure that I liked that person and I wanted to be with him. We spent a beautiful valentines day, and we were planning to go on a trip together. But first I went to a trip with my friends and maybe he felt like he is not my priority and I generally never talked to him about my feelings for him. We were just dating. When I was on that trip with my friends, he became distant in the chat and I was very worried, but I didn't do anything. I wanted to discuss that with him when I returned to my hometown, and one night he called me, and we talked very little, because I was eating with my friends. The last day of my trip he sent me a text and told me that it's better to break up because with our schedules we see each other once in a week and he has another whole year as a policeman trainee and that he is feeling that our relationship isn't so real, that we don't have communication and I agreed with him, but I tried to convince him that I want to change that and I am not the same person as the beginning of our relationship and if there was something in me it bothers him he should tell me earlier.He didn't listen to me, he just told me that he had made a decision even if it was wrong, because he doesn't feel fulfilled with our relationship and it isn't what he is looking for in his life right now. So, said that it is what it is then, nothing gonna change his decision now and I said goodbye. All this conversation was on instagram. I started crying, because he is a very good guy, but maybe he felt that I don't like him a lot and that there isn't something keeping him with me. I feel bad, I want him back, but what can I do now?

Update: I did that, I told him everything, that he was my first relationship, that I was waiting for our trip to get closer, and that I understand him, because I was very distant before. He thanked me for my confession, he told me that it was very important that I told him that, and I understood it. He wished me to find someone I could open up more easily, and he said that, unfortunately, he promised himself that he wouldn't back down. He wished me good luck. Then I told him that I knew that nothing would change, but I did that also for myself to learn to speak up earlier and to not let the otherone ovethink my intentions or something. I wished him good luck, too. I think that it was a very mature breakup for both of us, but he should have said something earlier if he didn't like my behavior, and not scheduled a trip with me a few days before the breakup. You think that he's maybe going to return someday? Iam not gonna wait, but he was 3 years single before me and maybe found something in me.

No chance that he will come back to you IMO. He couldn’t have been clearer so you need to believe him and move on. It’s good that you had an honest conversation with him about it so that should give you closure

Well done for telling him, that was brave.

Now accept his answer and let it go.

Op you have done the right if he really wanted it to work he could have backed down he chose not to hopefully you will find someone decent but at your age just have fun.

You said there was no spark, you're both busy with exams, he wasn't happy. He's not not the one for you.

I want to believe that his ego speaks, and after months, he'll realize that we could try from the beginning with the right terms and communication. It's really sad that now that exams are over, he chose not to continue this. I didn't have the time to be with him; I had a law degree to finish, and if he didn't understand my effort, it's just sad. At the beginning of the exam period, he assured me that everything would be alright and he's gonna be there for me.

i think you only want him because he dumped you. It’s your ego at play not his

"You think that he's maybe going to return someday?" Not a chance. I'm afraid he is thinking he dodged a bullet.

and then whyy we spent valentines together in a very romantic restaurant, expensive, he bought me flowers and chocolates, and even wrote me sweet words? Who does that if he doesn't want to and a week after broke up

You are starting to sound like a deranged bunny-boiler

But after valentines, he broke up with you a week later and has very clearly told you he doesn't want to get back together.

His feelings have changed.

There may be someone else he's interested in.

There are loads of men. Be sad, then brush yourself off and when you're ready, date someone new.

Have you considered that is when he realised he didn't like you that much and no longer wanted to pursue a relationship with you?

For someone with a law degree you are not self aware in the slightest.

This isn't the OP's first rodeo, every few weeks she pops up with a different thread about a guy who isn't interested...and then the "but whyyyyyyy" posts.

Get a hobby OP

Oh dear, are you still romanticising this doomed relationship?

It's time to draw a line under it and move on.

Oh no, what a waste of everyone’s time

OMG yes. This is the woman who said her dentist asked her out.
I remember that thread.

And she said she was 22 then (two years ago) and she’s still 22 now. What a fake