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Original poster

Awkward date 🫣

78 replies

Scarlet29061991 · 21/02/2026 18:14

I need the advice of people that have been on a lot of dates.

I met up with a younger man and Christ, it was just so awkward. I felt like I was the one making more of an effort to ask him questions about himself. I'm not the most confident person when meeting new people but he seemed less talkative and more shy than me.

There was long awkward silences and we were both just fidgeting and looking around. He also suggested going to an hotel room but I said no as I don't do that on a first date. 😐

He seemed he wanted it to end and so did I. I wasn't having a good time.

Is it his age? Shall I only try with men my own age or older?

OP posts:
CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 21/02/2026 20:36

He'd almost certainly have been a crap shag as well. You dodged a bullet there.

I'd have a FB purge as well, if I was you. Get rid of the people you don't know personally, and don't add total strangers!

Moreteanow · 21/02/2026 20:45

I’ve never added friends of friends whom I don’t know on FB.
he sounds like he wanted a shag. Nothing to do with you - it’s him.

btw is thst your name and dob as username? If so, you may want to think about giving a bit less away online.

mondaytosunday · 21/02/2026 20:51

I certainly don’t have ‘friends’ I don’t know! That’s weird, especially in this day and age.
If you don’t click with a date then after 30 minutes just say ‘looks like we don’t have much in common so I’m going to go, but I wish you good luck for the future’, then leave.

Tresesgreen · 21/02/2026 21:24

MiddleAgedDread · 21/02/2026 18:26

You wanted a date, he wanted a shag.

This. No one shy would have suggested going to a hotel room. He was there for one thing and one thing only and it wasn’t a date.

OchreSnail · 21/02/2026 21:41

My chap is younger then me and I went on to date him seriously was because from the first date we talked so easily and it felt effortless.

I've experienced other dates with people nearer my age which felt awkward as hell. So in my experience, it's not an age thing, it's a person thing.

Ohnobackagain · 21/02/2026 21:52

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 21/02/2026 18:59

OP... please stop worrying about this.

He couldn't be bothered to make small talk.
He accepted a drink but didn't care to reciprocate
He then suggested a hotel.

He's a graceless, boring, churlish creep. And I suspect he would have treated any date this way, with a similar lack of success.

Forget this charmer. You had a lucky escape. Move on and keep looking and don't analyse or doubt yourself because of this moron's shitty behaviour.

This @Scarlet29061991 it really is not you!

LucyLoo1972 · 22/02/2026 06:24

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 21/02/2026 18:43

Age wise that was basically me and my dh our 1st date... it wasnt weird. We got married.

I think maybe just a bad date?
He clearly just wanted sex and didnt even have any chat to back it up... lameeee

I went on a date with a guy who was 42 a few months before and that was weird. We felt generationally different...
I cant remember specifics /all of it but he was complaining about hip pain and limped to the toilet at one point.
He texted me after and told me he didnt wamt to see me again. he had been so excited and happy that we matched and that i would date him but that I had made him feel like a old man and he couldnt bear it (or similar)
He was a journalist so maybe that why he was so bizarrely candid.

Show quote history

Hip pain at 42!! ive been massively obese and I dont have hip pain at 53!

Dery · 22/02/2026 07:38

Agree with PPs - this is on him - he just wanted sex. Why would you think you were at fault? Sounds like you were great company. As for Facebook - for me that’s just for people i know. I don’t accept friend requests from people i don’t know, even if they’re friends of friends. That said, I’m in my mid-50s. But this guy has shown he has no place in your friend list!

JollyGreenSleeves · 22/02/2026 07:46

How could you possible think that the problem is you? You need to work on your self esteem.

He sounds dreadful, whatever his motivations were.

NowStartingOver · 22/02/2026 12:04

May not be an age-gap thing, but I think it is generational.

This is the generation grown up on smartphones and social media, they don't know how to physically converse with people.

I've had shop assistants this age and they don't know how to talk to people, they're too used to their phones.

Sassylovesbooks · 22/02/2026 12:51

I'd say that this younger man wasn't there for chit-chat and a date, but rather a shag! He wasn't interested in getting to know you, so wasn't bothered about making an effort. I don't think a shy man would be asking to book a hotel room!!

Put it down to experience. It's definitely not you!

YourSassyPanda · 22/02/2026 13:04

You could have been the funniest, most outgoing person in the world but he had already earmarked you (wrongly!) as someone he could potentially get easy sex out of for some reason known only to him and that was the only reason he was there. He wasn’t interested in conversation or getting to know you and didn’t want to engage so it wasn’t your conversation at fault in any way, he was just sulking as it was dawning on him that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted. This isn’t a you problem, it’s a him problem 100%.

Original poster
Scarlet29061991 · 22/02/2026 14:25

The thing is there is no picture of me on my Facebook profile that suggests I would be up for shagging a stranger that I've just met. 😂My profile pictures are just close ups of my face and even when they are full length, I'm fully clothed. They are all modest.

Of well, maybe he just thought because I'm older than him that I'm desperate 😂 he wasn't bad looking, apart from his personality maybe he thought I'd be 'grateful'. 😆

OP posts:
category12 · 22/02/2026 14:30

Scarlet29061991 · 22/02/2026 14:25

The thing is there is no picture of me on my Facebook profile that suggests I would be up for shagging a stranger that I've just met. 😂My profile pictures are just close ups of my face and even when they are full length, I'm fully clothed. They are all modest.

Of well, maybe he just thought because I'm older than him that I'm desperate 😂 he wasn't bad looking, apart from his personality maybe he thought I'd be 'grateful'. 😆

Edited

It's nothing you did or how you look, it's alllll him.

AltitudeCheck · 22/02/2026 14:31

That sounds creepy... suggesting a hotel room when small talk is already feeling awkward . Getting weird incel vibes here, perhaps he has some expectation of an older woman taking the lead. Has he messaged since the date and what has he said?

LittleJustice · 22/02/2026 14:35

something2say · 21/02/2026 18:40

No, it wasn't you.

Do you have any lovely, friendly, happy friends who you laugh and giggle with? You are capable of that, but this chap didn't 'work' with you that way.

Never second guess yourself, in fact be 'more' of yourself. You will just naturally 'work' with some people and not others. Heed that and don't second guess it and wonder if it's you, just roll with it and take the direction because it will mean that your precious time is only ever filled with people who get you and who you get and where things are natural and easy.

I'd message him and say thanks, all the best, then delete and have a nice hot bath and press on in other directions.

Agree 💯 with this, perfect advice 👌

Original poster
Scarlet29061991 · 22/02/2026 14:37

AltitudeCheck · 22/02/2026 14:31

That sounds creepy... suggesting a hotel room when small talk is already feeling awkward . Getting weird incel vibes here, perhaps he has some expectation of an older woman taking the lead. Has he messaged since the date and what has he said?

I blocked him as soon as I got home, that's how awkward that 'date' was.
I was just thinking about how rude he was, he didn't even try to hide the fact that he was bored and unenthusiastic.

I'm not interested in speaking to him again. I thought it was me for a little while but advice on here has cheered me up.

OP posts:
LittleJustice · 22/02/2026 14:42

Absolutely glad to hear it OP

Just to add - with age comes confidence so when you get to your 50s you've already filtered out all the people you didn't quite click with for whatever reason and you know you've got a group of people who like you for what you are so you don't seem to question yourself in quite the same way as you do when you were younger.

It makes dating easier as you can apply the same rules there. If it's not easy then it ain't for you.

lessglittermoremud · 22/02/2026 14:53

Scarlet29061991 · 21/02/2026 18:50

I don't think that's all that strange? Many people have people on their friends list that they don't know personally. Or maybe that's just me? 😂

That is definitely not a thing many people have, I don’t have anyone I don’t actually know on my friends list. Why would you give a random an inside snap shot of your life?

lessglittermoremud · 22/02/2026 14:55

Dery · 22/02/2026 07:38

Agree with PPs - this is on him - he just wanted sex. Why would you think you were at fault? Sounds like you were great company. As for Facebook - for me that’s just for people i know. I don’t accept friend requests from people i don’t know, even if they’re friends of friends. That said, I’m in my mid-50s. But this guy has shown he has no place in your friend list!

I’m in my 40’s and only have people I know as friends on social media, I don’t really know anyone that has random people they’ve never met/know on their friends list as once friends they can see everything you post?

TwistedWonder · 22/02/2026 15:02

This is completely on him however please take from this not to engage in chats online with random strangers and meet up with them

There are plenty of chancers online who cast their net wide and see who responds to them. He’s probably messaged lots of women he’s never met to try and get a shag.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 22/02/2026 15:34

It means absolutely nothing other than that your didn't click with this bloke.

That's the point of a first date, to find out if you're even remotely compatible.

You're not, so move on, and don't let it affect what you do going forwards.

ginasevern · 22/02/2026 16:54

He was bored and unenthusiastic because he just wanted to get straight into sex. He wasn't there for your personality OP. As for him being shy and awkward. How does that translate when he lets you pay for the drink and then suggests a hotel room? Shy - not much!

NoEnemiesManyPatios · 23/02/2026 05:35

This might not be the biggest question here, but I gotta wonder anyway, Why hotel? Were you both so far from home that's the only reasonable venue? Or, on top of every other quality this charmer has 🙄, is he living with somebody?

Original poster
Scarlet29061991 · 23/02/2026 10:38

NoEnemiesManyPatios · 23/02/2026 05:35

This might not be the biggest question here, but I gotta wonder anyway, Why hotel? Were you both so far from home that's the only reasonable venue? Or, on top of every other quality this charmer has 🙄, is he living with somebody?

He was from out of town and I'm living with family atm. He said 'let's book one for a couple of hours'. 🙄

OP posts:
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