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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What does he mean?

51 replies

Ejs890011 · 21/02/2026 09:12

So last night my husband said if “I wanted fun times”
i said “no thank you I am tired”. We only had sex last Saturday.
He then goes to say “oh well I don’t want it either I can’t be bothered”
then I went “ok.”
It was quiet for 10 mins then
he went say “The thing is I think why I want sex is because last time we did it was so good and I want it more”
I just went “ok well yes it was good but that should be the end of it”
then he proceeded to say “ok I am going to sleep. “
then we went to sleep. But why do I feel like he is guilt tripping me or like trying to blame me for something

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 22/02/2026 18:27

Ejs890011 · 22/02/2026 16:38

All I can say is that sex in our marriage has always been so upsetting I would happily have once a week but in the past
if I say no he threatens to kill himself. Or throw plates at me. Or says I am cheating. These are one of the many things he does if I say no.
I get very anxious when I say no to him to have sex because of this. We have gone to a therapist but I still get anxious about it also he does things like grab my breasts all the time for instance when I was pregnant they could not be touched I said please stop they hurt but he continued to do so everyday saying he is allowed to do that as he is my husband and can do what he wants
it is not a simple sex life I would be happy once a week

Ah well that’s totally different. He has been abusive and probably still is abusive. It’s ok to leave- and probably safer for you. Start organising yourself towards that.

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