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Original poster

What does he mean?

51 replies

Ejs890011 · 21/02/2026 09:12

So last night my husband said if “I wanted fun times”
i said “no thank you I am tired”. We only had sex last Saturday.
He then goes to say “oh well I don’t want it either I can’t be bothered”
then I went “ok.”
It was quiet for 10 mins then
he went say “The thing is I think why I want sex is because last time we did it was so good and I want it more”
I just went “ok well yes it was good but that should be the end of it”
then he proceeded to say “ok I am going to sleep. “
then we went to sleep. But why do I feel like he is guilt tripping me or like trying to blame me for something

OP posts:
Endofyear · 21/02/2026 11:38

It doesn't sound like he was trying to guilt trip you or make you feel bad. It actually sounds like he felt a bit awkward at being rejected and tried to cover it by saying 'oh I don't feel like it either!' he then complimented you by saying how much he enjoyed it last time!

Is there a mismatch generally in how much sex you both want? Maybe that is what is making you feel that he was guilt tripping you? Do you feel that he would like more frequent sex than you are having presently?

FirstdatesFred · 21/02/2026 11:43

Once a week isn’t an unreasonable expectation in my opinion! I’d be concerned if my partner didn’t want it once a week and would worry about if they found me attractive. That’s being perfectly honest.

RandomUserName96 · 21/02/2026 11:45

"What does he mean?"

What bit are you unclear on OP? Because it seems like he approached you asking if you were interested in having sex, you said no (which he accepted) he then tried to broach that he likes and enjoys having sex with you and you were unnecessarily harsh and suggested, essentially, that as the sex was good one week ago that he shouldn't be able to mention it and it should be left and never spoke of or requested again 🤷‍♂️

BauhausOfEliott · 21/02/2026 11:45

This seems to be a recurring theme in your relationship, looking at your previous posts. Your husband attempts to initiate sex, you say no and remind him that you did it about a week ago, he doesn’t push it but tries to express concern that you don’t seem interested in him, and you shut him down in the coldest and harshest way possible.

You honestly seem to hate him and it appears from your previous posts that he has tried to get you to talk about this and you refuse to discuss it.

Rizzz · 21/02/2026 11:48

Gosh, you do sound quite formal OP.

If it were any other subject I'd say you sound more like a teacher talking to a pupil.

Rizzz · 21/02/2026 11:48

Interesting @BauhausOfEliott

Bonkers1966 · 21/02/2026 11:50

I think he was trying to be nice

BottleGarden · 21/02/2026 11:51

In your previous thread you said he described you as 'hard as nails'.
Have you thought about that OP?
Read back how you spoke to him in this original post here.
You are as hard as nails with him aren't you.
Is that what you want to be?
Do you love and want to be with your husband?

You never replied to any of the posts in your previous thread.
Will you reply here?
If not, what are you hoping to get from this thread?

SilverPink · 21/02/2026 12:46

Ugh so another OP who constantly starts threads on the same subject then never returns 😒

shhblackbag · 21/02/2026 12:54

BauhausOfEliott · 21/02/2026 11:45

This seems to be a recurring theme in your relationship, looking at your previous posts. Your husband attempts to initiate sex, you say no and remind him that you did it about a week ago, he doesn’t push it but tries to express concern that you don’t seem interested in him, and you shut him down in the coldest and harshest way possible.

You honestly seem to hate him and it appears from your previous posts that he has tried to get you to talk about this and you refuse to discuss it.

Hopefully, he has some friends who can shake some sense into him. Life is entirely too short to live like that.

CapacityBrown · 21/02/2026 13:29

BauhausOfEliott · 21/02/2026 11:45

This seems to be a recurring theme in your relationship, looking at your previous posts. Your husband attempts to initiate sex, you say no and remind him that you did it about a week ago, he doesn’t push it but tries to express concern that you don’t seem interested in him, and you shut him down in the coldest and harshest way possible.

You honestly seem to hate him and it appears from your previous posts that he has tried to get you to talk about this and you refuse to discuss it.

Interesting indeed, there are many threads from the OP about husband asking for sex and then the reply being "we only just had sex 9 days ago".

The difference with this thread and the previous was that other posters told her her husband was a cunt and she happily replied in agreement.

She hates him, has a 1 year old with him and won't separate because of the finances.

WallyHilloughby · 21/02/2026 13:33

’the divorce came out of nowhere’

Disturbia81 · 21/02/2026 13:34

You’re with the wrong person. I saw sex as something to tick off the chore list and didn’t want to be bothered for a while after, but I wasn’t attracted to him. Now I want it constantly.

BottleGarden · 21/02/2026 14:58

She never came back.

Quitelikeit · 21/02/2026 15:01

You sound rather difficult.

I feel a tad sorry for him tbh!

The nerve of you to come in here and ask us to decode the scenario for you

Don’t come crying when he he finds someone who is prepared to treat him with a bit of respect

caljohn · 21/02/2026 15:04

shhblackbag · 21/02/2026 10:32

Because then she can't immediately claim he's blaming and guilt-tripping her?

Show quote history

I don’t really know what you mean here

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 21/02/2026 15:07

Is this really how you speak to each other? If this is an accurate retelling then it’s a very odd, stilted conversation. You sound like people who barely know each other. And it’s an odd way to talk about sex. It sounds more like a chat about cake!

LiveLaughLidl · 21/02/2026 15:09

Last Saturday?🤣

shhblackbag · 21/02/2026 15:10

caljohn · 21/02/2026 15:04

I don’t really know what you mean here

Show quote history

She would have to communicate rather than hoping posters rip him apart on here. That seems to be the goal.

Mydahliasareshit · 21/02/2026 15:33

This reminds me of the scene in Annie Hall where Woody Allen and Diane Keaton are having separate chats with the therapist on how often they have sex.

DK 'All the time! Like three times a week!'
WA 'Hardly ever...maybe three times a week'

Luckyingame · 21/02/2026 15:55

We only had sex last Saturday. 🙄
Split. You would be better off on your own.

Harrietsaunt · 21/02/2026 15:59

Do you see sex as a chore?

If so, you should probably think about separating.

Luckyingame · 21/02/2026 16:04

CapacityBrown · 21/02/2026 13:29

Interesting indeed, there are many threads from the OP about husband asking for sex and then the reply being "we only just had sex 9 days ago".

The difference with this thread and the previous was that other posters told her her husband was a cunt and she happily replied in agreement.

She hates him, has a 1 year old with him and won't separate because of the finances.

Show quote history

Grim.

Original poster
Ejs890011 · 22/02/2026 16:38

All I can say is that sex in our marriage has always been so upsetting I would happily have once a week but in the past
if I say no he threatens to kill himself. Or throw plates at me. Or says I am cheating. These are one of the many things he does if I say no.
I get very anxious when I say no to him to have sex because of this. We have gone to a therapist but I still get anxious about it also he does things like grab my breasts all the time for instance when I was pregnant they could not be touched I said please stop they hurt but he continued to do so everyday saying he is allowed to do that as he is my husband and can do what he wants
it is not a simple sex life I would be happy once a week

OP posts:
Endofyear · 22/02/2026 16:53

On reading your update, why are you with him OP? If sex has always been upsetting why are you happy to do it once a week? Your husband sounds abusive and you should leave.