I have an uneasy feeling regarding a guy I just went on 2 dates with .

[Missj25]

Hey Guys .
So long story short , I went on 2 dates with a guy last Summer, he wasn’t for me so i didn’t pursue.
He messaged here & there , I was always polite & messsged back.
Anyway, I told him I wouldn’t be seeing him again , he continued to message & send me random videos of things he was doing at the time . Clearly he wasn’t getting the message so I had to block him .
He then proceeded to ring me off of a different number in September, & on the day of my birthday in November, I hung up both times , he sent a message & said “ that’s not very nice “ , I ignored & deleted message .
On Sat night he rang again off a number I didn’t recognise & said “ Happy Valentine’s Day my Darling “ , it was actually my daughter who picked up the phone & she hung up also .
He sent a message & said same thing “ that’s not very nice “ .
I just feel a sense of unease over it , it was 2 dates last Summer !!!
It’s now February .
Like I just feel normal people don’t do things like this .
It’s not like he is contacting me every week or anything but still it’s strange.
Should I be worried do you think ?or will he just stop I wonder .

I remember your post and for what it’s worth I didn’t think it was lighthearted at all, I thought you’d been assaulted and by a man that was happy to do so in plain sight.

I very much think you should contact the police.

So... he's a guy who doesn't see a problem with hurting you, and won't take no for an answer when you tell him clearly to stop?

I think you need to take it more seriously TBH.

oh I never knew that. thats good to know

I genuinely can’t remember thread properly , but I do know I never wrote in with that incident saying it upset me at the time , I know it was very inappropriate behaviour, I thought it was a thread about what gives someone the ick , but like that couldn’t swear on it .
I messaged him on that number he contacted me on Valentine’s Night & said “ Do not contact me again “ .
I’m hoping now that’s I’ve it said to him , besides before just hanging up he will stop .
If there’s contact again , I will be going straight to Police.

I think the fact that it's key dates is more sinister than random interaction, tbh. He's keeping track of your birthday. You're making it clear that the relationship has ended. He's deliberately using new numbers to get you to answer the phone.

I remember that previous post too, OP. This guy is unhinged. I hope you don’t hesitate to contact the police and make sure you take extra precautions for a safe home.

I also agree to screen unknown numbers. Just let them ring out.

I’d log it in with the police, let my workplace know in case he starts calling there as well, change my number, get a ring doorbell if you don’t have one yet and if it still doesn’t stop, probably try and figure out where he works and whether or not he has any relatives and expose him there too.

I remember your previous post and feeling very uncomfortable about what he had done. Please don’t wait for further incidents. Type up a chronology of events (date, times, what happened and what was said). Go to the police now.

I’m wondering if it’s a different person and thread that a few of us are thinking about. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a few men like him around!

Hopefully he’ll leave you alone now, but I wouldn’t hesitate to contact the police, if I were you.

Here it is! Different poster I think, unsurprisingly there seems to be a lot of these idiot men about.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5445449-first-date-slapped-me-on-bottom?flipped=1&page=1

Yeah , different poster .
He doesn’t sound up to much either .
Clearly there are plenty of these men around .
It shows a clear disrespect for women.

OP, I think you’re being far too generous in your opinion of this creep. There is nothing lighthearted about his behaviour. He knows exactly how people are supposed to behave and he enjoys acting the way he does. I think his behaviour was malicious and he did mean to hurt you. Of course he thinks it’s funny; he humiliated you in public. God only knows what he’d do behind closed doors. He sounds like a very dangerous man and you’re not overthinking. You're under thinking! Please don’t wait for the ‘next time’ you need to log his behaviour with the police now. This creep knows where you live and work. He probably knows you have a daughter. What are you waiting for? Get him reported!

I hope this is over, but something stood out from your description of the dates. I promise I’m not victim blaming- none of this is your fault- but it sounds like you ignored your inner voice that was telling you NOPE on the date, and agreed to meet him again when you knew you didn’t really want to. Then you minimised his completely unacceptable behaviour as “lighthearted” and having a “big personality”, instead of listening to your instincts and putting your own safety and feelings first.
You don’t owe any man your time or attention, no matter how much they want it. And you don’t need to make excuses for them.

Just something to be aware of. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, you should listen to it, instead of immediately telling yourself you must be wrong and should give someone a second chance.

I know I don’t owe any man my time or attention .
On the first date I found him a little too hyper for me , like I said in my original post I put it down to nerves, & he settled as the evening went along .
I thought maybe I should go on another date to see was it worth pursuing.
It was the second date that he behaved badly & I knew he wasn’t for me .

Sorry I ever came across him .

I think the OP's initial post was moderately lighthearted, and then there were about a million replies (including from me) pointing out that the bloke was a colossal creep who had assaulted her and that she needed to be very wary of him if she was ever likely to bump into him.

I definitely remember the OP saying that it wasn't a tap on the bum but a proper hard whack that hurt and possibly even left a mark.

EDIT: Ah, just seen it was a different poster. Eerily fucking similar, though. So much so that it makes me wonder if that poster and the OP were dating the same man. Urgghh.

I doubt it , I live in Ireland .
I never saw that thread .

Since Sat night , I’ve given him some thought each day , someone that wouldn’t come into my head from one end of the year to the next .
So Annoying !!
I really do hope I never hear from him again, he’s such a prick for making me feel like this .

I had a stalker after 4 dates. After I told him I didn’t think things would work, he kept turning up at my house leaving cuddly toys and flowers. It was a 3 hour drive away from where he lived as well so not exactly popping over.

He kept emailing and calling me saying very weird things Had to contact the police in the end and I told him that I had.

It was absolutely terrifying.

I wouldn't warn him about possibly contacting the police, he may (fingers crossed) take the hint and leave you alone but then go on and do similar to someone else.

No wonder you feel a sense of unease with this guy.

You ar being stalked...........collect your evidence, screenshot all communication with him and contact the police.

Tell him ‘fuck off or I’ll be calling the police’

I thought that, or that it’s one of those things that men are seeing and talking about and so now are all disgustingly doing. Ugh.