Is it a dealbreaker if a guy your dating doesn’t go down on you

[jessb21]

If so why

Depends. Say you go down on him and and he likes / expects it and you are happy to do it, BUT you want to him to reciprocate because you enjoy it and he won’t .. possibly yes.

Nobody should do things they don’t want you to so it’s your decision if you want that and he won’t.

What is your situation??

Yes, because it would mean we’re just not sexually compatible

Absolutely yes. Personally I’d rather have no intercourse than no oral

I dislike oral, so it would suit me.

I would say it is, as it's clearly something you enjoy/want and it's important to be sexually compatible in a relationship.

Would perhaps suggest he's inexperienced? Dunno. But yeah you've got to reciprocate when it comes to oral sex in my opinion.

Same. It would be a good thing for me.

why won’t he ?

I’m not a massive fan of it tbh so wouldn’t bother me and certainly wouldn’t stop me reciprocating as I do enjoy giving more than receiving. However if it’s something you love then yeah, it would be a shame to live without it. What’s his reason? That might make a difference, I’m not sure.

Yes it would be a dealbreaker for me.

I’ve never been with anyone who is particularly good at it, (in my opinion,) I tend to spend my time thinking of shopping lists etc while it’s been happening to me!
I think if I’d been with someone who I enjoyed it with and knew it could be good, it would be a deal breaker, but as it is, it’s not really. I really wish I could enjoy it though.

For me, no DH wants to do it occasionally and sure it’s enjoyable but all I can’t think is oooh is my belly on his forehead.

im happy to give!

Not if she's overweight..

What matters is if its a deal breaker for you
I really have to be in the mood to give a BJ which isnt that often at all so I cant complain if a man doesnt want to do it to me. So not a deal breaker.

so you won't go down on a woman who's fat but you would sleep with them?

YES I am not going through life not being gone down on!

Two separate questions here:

1. is his refusal for misogynist reasons (ie he couldn’t give a damn about your pleasure while feeling entitled to your servicing him?) , or simply his personal sexual preference, of which we all have every right?
2. Is receiving oral key to your sexual satisfaction/happiness?

if either of above is a yes (yes to misogyny and/or yes to it being key to your sexual happiness) then It’s a yes to it being a dealbreaker too.

It only matters if it bothers you, you need to talk about what you each like.

No one should expect it.
I know my wife doesnt enjoy doing that to me as much as I enjoy doing it to her and that is fine. When she does its always her choice. I don't think in 20 years I've ever asked her to. But she knows i will happily do that for her at the drop of a hat.

What has that got to do with anything?

Yes, dealbreaker for me. It would also be a dealbreaker for me if he didn’t want to receive oral sex from me.

It’s not even necessarily about the actual physical enjoyment for me, it’s more that I find it very unattractive if someone has any kind of squeamishness about their partner’s body. (Obviously it’s not any kind of fault in them; they’re entitled feel however they feel and shouldn’t be pressured to do anything they don’t want to do. But it does mean we aren’t at all compatible.)

I like giving so if they don't like receiving then yes it's a deal breaker.

And vice versa.

Yes, it's a deal breaker. It's something I enjoy immensely and I'd be disappointed about not having it as part of my sex life.

The best sex for me involves a really strong pleasure feedback loop. If turning me on doesn't arouse them, and vice versa, than boredom ensues.

Worst case scenario, they find women's genitalia too repulsive to put their mouth near. I have no interest people that uptight.

Not a deal-breaker for me. I don't particularly enjoy recieving.

For me no oral = no entry. I have a little conversation with someone before l have sex with someone for the first time, this includes wants, expectations and condoms. If they want to take up an invitation share my body those are my rules.