Using private browsing- red flag?

[WallyHilloughby]

Have had lots of arguments over the years about husbands porn habit. Our sex life is not the best. Things really are not great at the moment so I had a sneaky look at his phone whilst he was asleep. On safari he seems to have enabled private browsing- so it won’t track anything and will only have one tab open at any one time.
would you think this is a red flag?

You don’t “enable” private browsing. On iPhones, it’s just….there? i have it on my phone, I’ve never used it.

On safari, you chose whether you want to use private or normal.

Urmm yes you do. I don’t use it

No you don’t. It’s a feature that is in built. You can choose to use it or not.

I use private browsing. No red flags, I just don't necessarily want a cookie trail when I'm researching gifts for the family or researching health symptoms or personal products - we have a family Google account.

No it's not a red flag. If no other issues.

Have you told him you'll leave him if he uses porn?

No. I have told him I am not happy with him watching porn whilst depriving me of a sex life and have asked him countless times to tell me if the lack of sex is due to him not being attracted to me so we can both move on

I very much doubt it's because he's not attracted to you. If anything it could easily be the porn use.

I totally understand it feels horrible being rejected. But a lot of people think of masturbation and sex as two totally separate acts with different motivation and one is private. But not when it's meaning you're forgoing real life sex when your partner is willing and able. I think you know he won't change.

It's not you OP. It's the porn.
Porn addicts are unable to have a normal sexual relationship with a real life partner.
And I would assume using private browsing is because of his porn habit. Porn addiction also means the user has to watch more and more extreme material in order to get gratification from it.

I watch porn with my wife . Why don't you suggest to watch some together?

I use DuckDuckGo which is permanently a private browser. Blocks lots of cookies and annoying adverts (especially those on here!). No history stored etc…

There is also a flame button that wipes out everything, logs out of websites and stops autofilling in website etc…

Nothing dodgy about it, it is just a better browser.

Because I don’t want to?

I use private browsing for quite a few websites that run noticeably better.

mumsnet being one of them.

I use private browsing when looking for flights etc.

People are missing the point that op has problems with her husband and sex and porn.
There are lots of reasons to use private browsing, but the most obvious answer is usually the right one.

It's not a red flag at all. It's convenient to be able to not have have a Cookie trail or a huge history list.

It’s a red flag you felt the need to be nosey it’s a breach of privacy.

I can see this is going to drive you crazy. Private browsing is embedded in most browsers.

If the trust is gone, then perhaps its time to end it. Can you track private browsing activity, no, you won't be able to.

Why is there always a little sleazebag with an unimaginitive user name like ‘cricket nut’ or ‘cycling boy’ pop up on threads like this, just fuck off, are you lying in wait for certain key words ?

Exactly - what a wanker literally

personally i would use it to prevent cookies, and in theory keep any sites more secure, but it does also mask

ive noticed that, i max the settings for the browser to prevent the tracking cookies etc and in theory seems quicker

I did ask, but your wife politely declined.

Mine keeps coming on accidentally on the new I phone 17, it’s annoying

It's a separate issue to your sex life. It might be that he's having a wank, but he'd do that whether you were having sex or not. I would park the issue because it's not going to help and it's rude to snoop.

Maybe he's feeling as frustrated as you because of the sex life. Maybe it's performance anxiety. Maybe he feels disconnected from you. Do you hold his hand, snog him, give him compliments, pick up lines, cuddle, be intimate without expecting full sex? I had a similar problem to you with DH. His sex drive is much lower than mine. I found that when I start to take care of the little intimacies, things really improved.