Was chatting to a guy online who admitted he'd date younger women - feel sick

[Marchisaroundthecorner]

Chatted to an online guy who seemed nice. 51 years old. Not a looker, but seemed ok.
I asked why his age range for women was 21 to 44 as I assumed he'd made a mistake. He said he wouldn't rule out any age if there was a connection. His daughter is 27 and I asked if he'd date a 28 year old (for instance). He said yes.

I accept that we were just chatting but this gave me the creeps. I also appreciate that some people do have big age gaps but does anyone else find this odd?

Yes it’s gross but also unsurprising . Depressingly enough!

Not wanting to be too pessimistic, but somehow I think the number of older men who’d reject a woman in her 20s who’s keen on dating them simply because of her age is low.

It's creepy that he'd date women who are younger than the toddlers his dd played with in the park. Who were newborns when his dd was 6.

I don’t really see the relative age to his child as that relevant - his daughter isn’t a child any longer.

As long as they’re adults I don’t think it’s creepy. Wildly optimistic, but not particularly gross.

Glad you found out sooner than later.

What about all the older women parading their toyboys around like trophies?
I'm sensing a scintilla of double standards here 😆

If you dont like it dont chat to him but dont judge.

Yeah OP, don't judge. He thinks he has a chance with women in their twenties and that's not creepy at all 🙄

Well he seems to be 'ruling out' women of his own age and several years younger, which I find more than a bit off-putting

It’s pretty grim.

100% this - also women are often advised on this forum that men in their 50s are dull and boring and they should date younger men - why is so shocking that men should not take the same advice?

yep 100% this - plenty of older women date down the age range - and those women are celebrated- but for men it’s described as “grim” why is that?

I have never ever saw a woman in her 50 being advised to date 21 year old. I also think it's wrong regardless of gender. Very young people don't even have fully developed brains or ability to plan their futures. They deserve to explore with people their own age and not to get stuck with someone who could be their mother and who is at completely different life stage. I would be very worried if my young son ended up with 50 year old woman. Young people have no experience and are more vulnerable. A mature person should know better.

It couldn’t be any clearer that he sees women as objects. No thanks from me. I would have swiped left on that information alone. He’s also a liar, because if he was after ‘connection’ his upper limit wouldn't have been 44.

The advice given out to women ( generally in their 40s or 50s ) is date younger - why shouldn’t men head the same advice ?

What advice are you talking about? I’ve literally never ever seen that.

I think in fantasyland being 50 odd and dating someone half your age sounds great but they may want kids and you dont, not to mention they will be 50 while caring for someone like their dad. Not to mention the emotional space of it all.

Yes, some people do have a big age range - a friend was about 50 and got together with someone 29, still together and very happy.

Not for me. 52 (M) and my age in dating apps is 44-55

My DH reckons more men than not would if they could. He thinks they would go underage if they could get away with it. Most men are vile.

Yep. One of our senior managers at work was 50ish with older teens (dd about 18 and 16 year old twin boys). He hooked up with a woman 20 years his junior who obviously wanted kids and so now he’s pushing 60 with 3 adults and a couple of primary age kids. And he’s permanently knackered

Mind you,it works The other way too. I used to work with a guy in his very early twenties who had a preference for women in their late 40s and mid 50s.

Disgusting

He’s an old git who wants a young woman with little life experience and no boundaries.

I think most men are like this.

It would be the delusionality as much as the preference that would give me the ick. What average 50-something in his right mind would think a 25-year-old would give him the time of day?!

I get so sick of the endless bleats of 'oh, you mustn't judge'. Sod that. I very much judge men of 51 looking for women of 21, and think it's creepy af.

As for the PP's claim that women on MN are routinely advised to date younger men, I've never seen it, and I've sure as hell never seen women in their 50s being advised to go for men in their 20s! I also don't know who 'celebrates' women dating younger men, as per a claim upthread, and who are all these much older women 'parading their toyboys around'?