Husbands Kik....

[Iknowdino]

husband is away for a week and I have got proof he is trying to cheat on me. At least with escorts (adultwork) and possibly Kik meet ups. I have gained access to his Kik and someone has just sent a message. Would I be insane to respond and ask who it is? Or pretend to be him and gain some further info. Or should I just accept it for what it is, log out and go from there. My issue is that I strongly suspect he is sharing private pictures of me and I would like to find out if possible.

Why bother?
waste of time?
spend your time planning your next step ie divorce

any children?

If you think he is sharing photos, and you have access to his Kik, I’d be inclined to do nothing but sit back and monitor the conversations. If you respond he will presumably see it on his device and be alerted to the fact that you have accessed his account.

I assume you will be leaving him?

You need to use your time more wisely…log out, take care of yourself, and plan your next steps.

Move in the shadows. Don't do anything that shows your hand before you are ready to and any communication on App will surely be obvious to him too and give him time to delete evidence, create his own narrative and sort out cover stories. Gather evidence, take screenshots and get your ducks in a row. If you suspect he is sharing images of you, then you need to seek legal advice.

Do this to your timeline - not his.

Unfortunately that's not how Kik works. If he logs in to check the messages, I will be logged out and all previous messages before his log in will be deleted. So I can't see anything he has previously messaged. Yes, I think I know where I stand with this so spending more energy to find out further info is only wasting more of my time and effort.

Sorry to hear about your situation @Iknowdino , it is horrible. But now that your husband is away for the week, you can use this time to your advantage. This relationship died the moment he decided to betray it and your cheat on you. I don't know what your situation is, what you share financially, but I would start the process while he is away. Get everything sorted as much as you can, no matter how painful it is. You are worth more than to entertain this nonsense. All you need to put energy in is making sure you can cut ties with him as much as possible, and get ready as much as possible by the time he returns.

Hi, I'm in a similar situation but blew it before I could gather any real evidence. Am I crazy and paranoid to suspect cheating if my partner (mid 50s) has Kik and Snapchat downloaded. I couldn't access either account so dont know what he's using them to message. I find it creepy as fuck that a man of that age would wants chat apps generally marketed towards teens and young adults.

"Move in the shadows " ffgs

If he is sharing photos, it’s illegal. Maybe the police could help?

Kik is basically marketed to perverts and predators. Snapchat isn't much better. Do with that information what you will.

This. Speaking from experience, years back I was targeted by older men on kik. Didn’t even know it was still going these days! Snapchat now is predominantly used by younger teenagers, it’s not ‘cool’ to use it even as an older teen now. Dangerous sites

I don't consider myself "old" being close to 40, I though I am sort of aware of stupid apps, but Kik I have never even heard of.. sounds dodgy.

Screenshots of what you manage to find. Best you can do.

Yeah I've got screenshots of what I have found, not that it matters massively. He does also have Snapchat which he doesn't know I know about. Kik is super dodgy! Basically an app for cheating!!
I would like to know if he is sending pictures of me to other people as I would go to the police if he is because that's really shitty. But I guess I'll just have to accept I'm never going to know.

@Iknowdino Realistically, if he uses these for cheating, I don't really know what he would need photos of you for. I mean, I get the uncertainty, one can never know, but if we think about it... how would that serve him in cheating? Just a thought to maybe make it easier..

I’ve never heard of Kik, but is there any way of seeing previous messages on there? Can you see contacts or “friends” or is it not that kind of thing?

Do you think there is a chance he would be sending photos of you to other people? I don’t usually see any point in hunting for evidence with cheating but if you genuinely do believe he would do that then I would be trying to find evidence and go to the police.

Yeah I see what you mean but I think part of his "fantasy" of cheating is that Im up for meeting people for theesomes and he will chat to people as if it's both of us. He has asked for this in the past and I've said no and asked that he can film us together to show other people/do live videos. Again I said no. He has been on fab swingers to try and arrange meetups in the past.
He is always very keen for me to send him pictures of me and went a bit obsessed with it a few months back, which I had to shut down. I had a thread about it and people suggested he may have been sharing them but I wasn't sure, now with this I've put the 2 together and wondered whether maybe that was why!

Whatever floats your boat as a couple is fine. But if he is the only one pushing this agenda it would be the death knoll for me I'm afraid.

Oh wow, now that gives it a new twist! That is horrible! If he has a history of actively wanting to show intimate moments off with you, well, I 100% get where you are coming from now...
(I also have to say, I can't help but ridicule his game plan when it comes to the threesome idea. you categorically said no, and then if he goes out, pretends to be talking for the both of you, then what? He will still not have you on board...what an idiotic plan)

I know. It doesn't fully make sense so maybe I'm wrong or maybe what he is doing just doesn't make sense. I think maybe that part is just a fantasy online or maybe he thinks one day I'll just accept it....? I don't know.

Either way, it's not for me. And regardless of the Kik messages and fab he has also been on adultwork which I'm definite doesn't have any 'innocent' explanations!

Agreed @Iknowdino . It is pretty much a done deal.

No, no way at all as far as I can tell. Once you log out all info is deleted so when you log in it's all gone. Theres no history or anything. Can only get new messages from there. I don't fully understand the app as it's not something I use but I can't see anything.

I think with his phase of become obsessed with photos of me and looking back at the old thread with fresh eyes, it does seem likely. He was begging for photos daily and getting really cross with me when I wouldn't send. He still tries probably weekly or so! I did start to wonder why he so frequently requested pictures of me. Since my thread I have completely refused to send any and refused to let him take any/record anything. But he will still have hundreds!

Oh OP I remember reading your thread last week (?) about having a date night with your husband and then you went on to say that he only fancied you if you dressed sexy for him and that he would be horrible to you if you didn't want sex... All makes sense now I suppose.

As others have said (on this thread and that one) why the hell are you staying?!