Removed from group chat

[Littlebluedot]

So i have been part of a group chat and i got quite close with one of the ladies, then she started being quite nasty, making digs, making comments about fancying my husband. She then went on holiday with our other friend from the group and told her that my husband cheated on me....

I then tried to contact her - she ignored all my calls, messages etc so then i got really angry and out of anger i outed her in the chat, i only left the post on about a minute and then thought better of it and deleted it.

Since then i have been removed and ostracized, i was told i was being removed for the safety of the group and that others saw the message and felt uncomfortable, i have had others in the group block me and tell me my values don't align. I just feel like this is all very unfair, i'm the victim of one person's nastiness yet i'm being punished.

Now the founder of the group has blocked me - even after saying I could reach out if i wanted support. Also just to mention, I was very involved in the group and organized a lot of the events etc.

I am really struggling to process and come to terms with it all and any nice advice appreciated, yes i know its my own fault for posting on the chat but I did it in the heat of the moment and deleted i very quick.

Please if u don't have anything nice to say, scroll past.

Thank you xx

Sounds like you’ve had a lucky escape.

Came here to also say it sounds like you've had a lucky escape, this doesn't sound like a "friend" group I'd want to be a part of.

I defo don't want to be apart of it any longer, i just feel humiliated being removed like that and also getting blocked is just nasty.

Who are the people on the group chat? Are they actually your friends? I might be missing something but it doesn’t sound like your mates WhatsApp group, it sounds like a group of randoms. Ignore it all and move on and focus on good times with good friends!

They sound toxic all of them I think you’re well rid.

The purpose of the group was to make friends in the local area. Just feels so shitty x

Yep. You’ve had a lucky escape there. Don’t give them a second thought!

They sound fucking nuts.

Be glad they showed you how awful they are and what stupid games they like to play, and be glad you found out.

There are nice people out there, in all sorts of groups.

Ah I see…yeah I can imagine it’s not nice at all. Hopefully there is something else similar available in your area where you can connect with new, nicer people!

Thank you guys, starting to feel better already! But yeah its just been an awful few days and i'm exhausted by it all, not to mention me and my hubby have had arguments about the accusations as it did plant seeds of doubt!

They are right, your values don’t align… they think it’s fine for some loon to go around telling everyone she is fucking your husband, and you are the problem for objecting.

You’ve dodged a bullet.

Are you saying that she had an affair with your DH and you outed her? What exactly did you write?

No she told our other friend that he had cheated on me, not with her. Its a fallacy, i think shes just jelous and making stuff up x

I always find women’s group chats toxic, it will always end in tears.

I'm a bit confused here. Were the negative interactions between you and the other woman happening within the group chat or during group gatherings? If outside the group, then presumably the group had no idea what was going on between the two of you.

Secondly, what did you say in the post you deleted? Your removal was presumably based on the content of the message rather than any disagreements between you and the other woman. If the other woman had behaved badly only outside the group then, as far as the group was concerned, you were the only one behaving badly and so warranted removal.

I've never found that.

They sound absolutely vile. Your values don’t align because you don’t support being nasty and cheating. Disgusting people 🤮

These people aren’t your friends.

You are probably in a minority. I have found that women become competitive and also exclude others by creating what’s app sub groups with a select few. These women the op describes sound pretty much like a “ group” becomes …. More like a “pack”.

Sounds like you are better being out of this group.

They sound like a bunch of Two-faced people.

I was chucked out of a group chat once by queen bee and her side kicks

I don't think there is enough information in the op to determine that. She didn't say what she wrote in the post. She also didn't say whether the nastiness was going on in front of the rest of the group or not.

As it stands, I have no idea whether the group were unreasonable or not.

You were removed for the safety of the group? Poor precious babies! I think you will be safer without their weird tales and toxic behaviour.

I’ve not found this either, across quite a number of women’s group chats.

The trash took itself out!