Why does my new GF keep lying to me?

[SatelliteSpaceman]

To preface this I’m male and 55.
have been seeing a 53 year old woman for about 6 months now and she seems to keep lying to me.
when we met she told me that she was separated from her husband due to cheating ( I recently found out it was her who had a 2 year affair and not her husband as I lead to believe)
she has also lied about where she has been, recently she said she has been to a friends house for dinner, but had actually been out to a club ( I don’t care if she goes out to clubs) and there have been other occasions where things don’t quite ring true

Ive not confronted her about anything yet, but was wondering if anyone could shed any light on why someone would lie so much and so easily right to my face

Because she's disrespectful. It's no reflection on you - either she is pathologically untruthful or she just has no interest in treating you with decency.

Habit, also covering up behaviour that is technically wrong (affair) or something she's been used to thinking of as bad (partying). Unless you have the conversation regarding why she had an affair it's hard to say, perhaps she had a controlling husband and is living free now, without talking to her who knows.

Well the fact that she had a 2 year affair doesn't mean that her husband wasn't unfaithful. Both things could be true.

But the rest of the lies - yeah, it's disrespectful and I wouldn't tolerate that.

Because she's a liar.

I don't know what her reasons are, but I don't see the point in being with someone who lies about things so easily

Ah. I can’t bare liars and this would infuriate me. I wouldn’t be able to not confront this

Some people just lie. It's hard for honest people to understand. She's not the person for you if you're an honest person.

Habit?

This is a person who was able to maintain an affair for 2 years OP. That's a lot of lying and covering tracks.

6 months in, I would cut my losses now. You'll never trust her if she's lying this early in.

Hmm she may be telling the truth and someone else is lying to you.

Fair point. Who has told you that she’s not telling the truth?

One of her friends let slip that it was actually her having the affair, and not her husband.

This friend may have not been telling the truth though. I mean I have no idea, just don't go in all accusing as you can't be 100% sure.

Who was she at the club with?

As is frequently said on MN, too many red flags. I’m sure you can find someone more respectful towards you.

Why would you want be in a relationship with a liar and a cheat?

Liars lie because it suits them. You can’t trust anything they say

But why would you trust her friend over your girlfriend, whom you presumably know far better?

I know my GF has lied , even about trivial stuff- so I’m actually inclined to believe her friend

She’s a liar and a cheat get rid of her now.

Throw this one back. 6 months is when you’re supposed to be on your best behaviour. She’s already demonstrated she can lie and cheat and it’s not going to get better than this. You already know she’s untrustworthy.

I’d get out now.

Honesty is the cornerstone of a good relationship so I’d end this and find someone decent. She’s 53, not 13. She isn’t going to change. She probably lies because she wants to present a version of herself which is not the real version, and can’t take responsibility for her mistakes. Not positive characteristics as a potential life partner

Some people are habitual liars it's in their DNA, a friend of mine was married to one, until it drove her mad, he couldn't see he was doing anything wrong, (even daft stuff about what supermarket he had done the weekly shop at.)
He's never stopped he can't help himself. You can understand the reason behind lying about big things, like affairs etc, but about trivial things is a whole other layer of disfunction that defies explanation.
My advice withdraw carefully from the relationship you have no idea what stories she may start telling about you!

Drop her then, she's bad news.

I hate liars.

Liars lie because they can. It is like they get some perverse thrill at feeling they have pulled the wool over your eyes and often they dont even care if they get caught out once they feel they have somehow gotten the upper hand.

Op Time to move on

Thank you- that’s very helpful