I don’t know if I should have done something more but I have just had my worst online dating experience ever.
I was talking to this guy from a foreign city I was recently in. We matched the day before I flew back to England a few days ago. We had been messaging off and on. I do go to that city a lot so the plan was to meet next time I am there.
He was 34, worked in SEO for a digital marketing agency, very good looking, well dressed in his pictures, seemingly personable and had good conversational skills. A rare find on there tbh
Last night was probably the longest chat we had had, it was going back and forth talking about anything and everything and initially it was fun. But gradually I started to realise he was slightly off.
First it was little things like using too many of these 😂😂 emojis when what he was saying wasn’t that funny. I’ve noticed the men who do that end up a being a bit too crazy and not in a good way. He seemed fairly reserved then slowly was becoming a bit too hyper.
And then when I asked why his 4 year relationship ended the only thing he could point to was because she kept sunbathing topless on the beach in front of his friends.
I said did you have any other problems with her? And he said she also swam naked in lakes or something.
I don’t go topless myself, but it seemed weird how fixated he was on this one thing when he didn’t seem a particularly conservative man.
I could only guess she must have dumped him, because he had nothing of substance to say about their breakup or against her . He said she was “not serious” in terms of her personality.
He asked if I like younger men lol he’s only 5 years younger. I just said not too young and not too old and that I prefer men around my age. Hint hint - you ain’t that young dude!
Then I asked him how old was his last ex. She was 24.
Hmm so he was 30 and she was 20 when they got together. That did put me off tbh while I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at 34 and 44, to me 20 and 30 is questionable.
It makes me question why a grown man went for a young woman so close to teenage years when he’s 30. Especially because he was essentially complaining she was “not serious” .
It annoys me when older men go out of their to date younger women, not long out of school then complain about their lack of maturity. I did point that out to him.
But I also thought it could’ve just been a coincidence and it is not that he targeted a 20 year old specifically. Because he was talking to me and I was older than him.
Then out of the blue he said his first girlfriend was a “little girl”. Now I thought he was referring to the “not serious” topless bathing loving 24 year old and I was like yeah early 20s is so young. But I was still uneasy that he had described her that way.
He says “no, I mean my very first girlfriend”.
I said how old were you then? He said 20.
I was going to change the subject away from exes but something stirred in me and told me I needed to ask how old was this first girlfriend. Now I assumed he was going to say 16 and the red flags were already forming. Then he comes out and say 12.
12 he dated (abused) a 12 year old old 🤯
note, I am using google translate for a lot of this as I am a beginner only in his language. But obviously he just typed out 12 so there could be no mistake.
I eventually asked him neutrally - so you are saying as a 20 year old man you chose a 12 year old child to “date” (abuse)?
I was trying not to react so I could draw it out of him.
But he must’ve realised my disgust and kind of backtracked and said he only “dated” her for 5 weeks and they didn’t do anything sexual.
Even if that’s true I definitely think they must have at least kissed and it’s still utterly horrifying.
I asked him one final question “what did you see in a 12 year old child?”
His answer “at that time she was the only one who would listen to me.”
What a creep. I felt like crying for this child.
I don’t know if he done anything illegal as he supposedly didn’t sleep with said 12 year old but he “dated” ie. Preyed upon a child. I am sure it would have went that way if he had hung about a little longer.
I couldn’t pretend not to be disgusted any longer so I immediately blocked and reported him. My reason given was “ he said he dated a 12 year old” I doubt anything can be done but I just wanted to report him to someone at least.
AIBU to think this could have been the start of something very twisted? He felt comfortable to tell a complete stranger he dated a 12 year old.
What was the motivation for this I wonder 💭 And what else would he have shared as time went on?
If I had talked more maybe I could’ve got more out of him , enough to share with authorities in his country , but I just couldn’t stomach it any longer.
Sometimes I watch true crime about an abusive couples with strange illegal “kinks” and I wonder how did they find out about each other being so perverted? Who told who first? How did they figure out the other person was a fellow creep and it was safe for them to disclose these desires too?
It has kind of made me sick that he felt he could disclose that to me, especially on the same evening I had shared that I work with kids as part of my freelance work.
It’s just terrifying the type of men that are out there hiding in plain sight. His hard drive wants checking.