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Original poster

Should I contact this guy through facebook?

37 replies

LynetteScavo · 12/06/2008 21:20

so I'm quite boared tonight and searched facebook for old school friends.

I've come across my first love (fron 6th form) I almost added him as a friend, but hesitated. He treated my like absolute shit when we split up.....but I carried on lusting after him for the remainder of U6th.

We are now both very happily married, and got along brilliantly - as best friends- before we got together and then split up. I haven't seen him since we left school nearly 20 years ago, and we live on different continents.

So should I try to add him as a freind?

I actually got butterflys when I saw his photo.

I've just read this post, and it sounds soooo pathetic. Someone slap me and give me some big sister sensible advice.

OP posts:
mamamamama · 12/06/2008 21:21

TBH, the fact that you got butterflies suggests you probably shouldn't make contact!

Tinker · 12/06/2008 21:22

No

fawkeoff · 12/06/2008 21:23

nope dont do it matey......your just thinking all the shoulda woulda couldas

MegBusset · 12/06/2008 21:25

No! How would you feel if your DH got butterflies over his high-school sweetheart and added her on FB? And what do you hope to gain from it anyway?

Sanctuary · 12/06/2008 21:25

If you found him he could find you through facebook if he wanted contact

Sorry but its a no

getmeouttahere · 12/06/2008 21:26
DirtySexyMummy · 12/06/2008 21:26

You have nothing to lose though. Its only facebook.

dizzydixies · 12/06/2008 21:27

slap slap and a bucket of cold water

Piffle · 12/06/2008 21:28

send message without adding as friend
just keep it casual and distant, you always find out more playing it ice cold and in control
I've had some stonking messages from an ex or two one very atmospheric and reminiscent but I liked it and said so.
I'm happy so is he, with other people. Does not mean memories cannot be explored and remembered.

Sanctuary · 12/06/2008 21:28

If you contacted him and he did`nt respond how would you feel then??

Sanctuary · 12/06/2008 21:29

Being negative
Sorry

Original poster
LynetteScavo · 12/06/2008 21:31

I dont't think he could find me... I have a new surname...and don't have our school on my profile. We didn't speak to each other when we left school....we didn't say goodbye. I've always felt about that.

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 12/06/2008 21:31

I would go with send a message.

Recently ended up in contact with my ex (were "friends" on fb but didn't really speak before) through a mutual friend's wedding. This last week I have found the friend I lost 10 years ago.

I do need a proper talk with DH about his feelings on it all though

getmeouttahere · 12/06/2008 21:39

This is dangerous territory. Why go there ?

The internet and FB have broken many a decent relationship. Too much secrecy and temptation and the opportunity to let simple fantasies go toooo far.

Original poster
LynetteScavo · 12/06/2008 21:54

Seriously no tempatation......also I have the best DH in the world. He has full access to my facebook if he's interested.

My biggest fear is that this bloke doesn't add me as a friend. It would be like a big slap in the face again. But I'm a big girl now....

OP posts:
getmeouttahere · 12/06/2008 22:00

So why go there Lynette.... ?

madamez · 12/06/2008 22:02

If you send a message at all, what shoudl be in your mind is the idea that it might be nice for you AND YOUR DH to meet up with your old pal AND HIS DW and maybe some more old pals sometime. If your thoughts are not running along those lines, unless you and your DH have already had a discussion about setting wide boundaries for an open relationship, then maybe it's best left alone.

MegBusset · 12/06/2008 22:02

OK, so you didn;t say goodbye. You know, not every friendship/relationship has a storybook ending, nor does it have to. If the internet didn't exist would you be trying to get in touch with him? IME we fall out of contact with people for a reason. Let it go...

Original poster
LynetteScavo · 12/06/2008 22:06

Madamez ....that has been really helpful.

Meeting up with him ever is unlikely, but I would be quite happy to meet him with DH and his DW. (Actually that would be preferable to meeting hime on his own)

I guess I'm wondering if he might think I'm a freaky weirdo stalker checking him out after all this time.

OP posts:
Original poster
LynetteScavo · 12/06/2008 22:09

The thing is, I will never forget about him as long as I live, whether I contact him or not. And I'm prett sure that's all it would be..at most, a friend on face book...

OP posts:
Original poster
LynetteScavo · 12/06/2008 22:16

God I'm tragic

OP posts:
getmeouttahere · 12/06/2008 22:18

"The thing is, I will never forget about him as long as I live"

That is why you leave it alone.

fawkeoff · 12/06/2008 22:55

nope nope nope.........things like this always start out as platonic, just being nosey,,,,,but the felings come creeping back...then before you know it ur up shit creek

Original poster
LynetteScavo · 12/06/2008 22:59

You all have very little faith in me!

Really, nothiing would ever happen!!!

I am not getting my post 3 baby body out for anyone except DH - especially someone who is married to a sporty childless person!

OP posts:
Weegiemum · 12/06/2008 22:59

No. DOn't. My uncle did this and ended up splitting from his wife and the woman he contacted,

not a good idea imho

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