ok so.. Single for nearly two years. One teen dc. Liked a man for nearly a year and finally we met. Chemistry off the charts. Messaging every day, meeting up once a week. Incredible sex. He gives me a pet name, acts like a boyfriend, we talk about how rare it is to find such a connection, holding hands, kissing in public, everything I love! I catch feelings. I’m pretty sure he has too. Then comes the ‘this can’t be a relationship because of my circumstances and past hurt. Don’t want to hurt you, don’t want to let you down’ I’m gutted. Going around in my head constantly what I should do. Maybe I don’t really want the heaviness of a full on relationship either but want some security. He agrees to us being ‘exclusive’ so I leave it at that and we carry on. But now I have these really down moments between seeing him because I know deep down this has really hurt me. He’s definitely a fearful avoidant. He does rely on me for emotional support aswell as sex. I feel him putting the label of relationship out there just scares him. Because he acts so lovely when we are together. He genuinely does have circumstances that make it hard for more and I get that (he’s NOT married I know this for a fact as we have many mutual friends)
The big question is, do I just enjoy this for what it is? I love the excitement of getting ready to see him and the fun we have. Maybe it’ll become something, maybe it won’t, but he is just so incredible I’d feel stupid to cut this short when I could be enjoying my time with him. Or do I think of future hurt and stop it now before it gets any deeper? I’m not young after all.