Husband being abusive

[Ineedsomeadvicepls]

I was hanging some washing on the airer to dry. I was told I wasn’t doing it fast enough, when I said actually I was doing it fine he went mad and threw the washing across the room and destroyed the airer by stamping on it. He still thinks I was in the wrong and is waiting for me to apologise to him. I’m not going to. What do I do? I’m angry, scared and upset.

Can you leave?

I am sorry to hear this. Is he always like this? Do you have friends you could talk to? It might be a good idea to contact Women's Aid too

You need to leave. If he gets away with that his behaviour will only continue you escalate. You are not safe, next time it could be you he throws.

@Kosenrufugirl thanks. Hasn’t been like this for a while but has previous form for it. Usually if I bow down to him it will diffuse but I’m fed up of him controlling me.
I’m not sure about talking about it, I’m quite a private person. I would talk to women’s aid though.

Is it a drug/alcohol fuelled rage? This rage isn't justifiable or normal. He is/becoming abusive or controlling. Ducks in a row and then leave. Make sure you and, if there are dependants, leave quietly and hopefully without fuss. Never return, do not accept excuses.

@ThejoyofNC he has done it before. This time he did say he was smashing the airer so he didn’t smash me in the face.

@Wsiw71 no he is sober and no drugs at all. I’m confused as to where this came from to be honest.

Well that was a winner, wasn't it

Stop making yourself small to excuse or fit around his control and anger issues. He is positively scary,

You absolutely must speak to Women’s Aid asap if only for support and guidance.
Please come back and tell us that you’ve done so.
www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

@PashaMinaMio yes I will speak to them tomorrow as I have a day off work, it will be safer to speak then. Thankyou.

What's your housing situation? Who owns your home? Do you have access to your own money?

We privately rent as joint tenants. Yes I have access to my wages but not a lot of free cash at the moment.

Do you have someone you can stay with for the short term? Renting privately should make it an easy break (in practical terms at least) so get in touch with the landlord ASAP and let them know you are leaving the tenancy. Do you have children?

He is awful, dangerous, and you deserve better.

I could possibly stay with my adult daughter. Yes I have 2 teenage children also.

Do the teenagers live there?

Yes

I'm sorry you're going through this ,that was a violent act to keep you in your place.
Growing up in that environment will affect your children.
Time to get out but get out safely.

Thankyou @TheSalvadorsStickbymebaby
i will definitely speak with women’s aid tomorrow. I’ve been putting up with this for 22 years on and off so time to go I feel.

Hopefully you can make it the last year,my mum had 37 years of it and it only stopped when he left.
I've saw,heard things and had violence used against me and saw mum battered .
That's why I understand what it does to child but I also understand that not every thing is black and white when it comes to getting out.
Wishing you and your children all the best for a better future.

I know this sounds silly but I’m worried to leave my cats. What can I do about that?

Hopefully some cat people will be along to advise 👍😁

Google “Cats Protection Lifeline” - they offer free and confidential cat fostering for owners fleeing domestic abuse .
Thinking of you xx

@Yiayoula thankyou so much for that

You poor thing. Can you take the dcs and go and stay with anyone whilst you sort out somewhere else to live?

Do you have enough money to rent alone?

Im not sure of the law but hopefully someone else can advise - what are the OP’a rights for getting him removed by the police as he is violent?

Can’t she get a non molestation order?

Leave! Please.