Because everyone is busy, we rarely get to meet up with my wife's siblings who live abroad, so most life updates are happening once or twice a year.. I get along real well with my brother-in-law, he always seen me as an older brother ever since the stone age, since I started dating his older sister, my wife. He is not that much younger than me, mid-thirties, but he always struggled with women, so to speak. When it was just the two of us he told me that he actually has been dating someone for about 6 months now, but he hasn't told anyone in the family, no one met this special lady yet. He is on the fence regarding what this woman does for a living, so he asked for my opinion.
So, he said that after the first handful of dates the woman laid out her cards, as she wanted to be honest - she basically creates online content - sex videos. The majority of what she does is just her and toys, but she occasionally shoots videos with a friend of hers (also a woman). I was asked if I could date someone who does that for a living. I was honest, and tried to explain that I really don't want to influence his way of looking at her and their relationship, but he was adamant to hear what I would do in this situation. This is what I told him: Honestly, I think hats off to the lady for not being secretive about it, not trying to lie about her job that could divide people. As a person, that is an excellent trait, I think. However, when it comes down to personal preference, I could not be in a serious relationship with someone who a) is all over the internet naked/having sex of some kind, b) does sex work (it is considered that, right?). I am not saying she is less of a person for this, I am not saying "ew", as long as nobody is forced, everyone should do what they do comfortable and happy with. It is her right to do it, but I think it is a potential partner's right to not want to date someone like that. My brother-in-law seemed a bit down about my response, but understood what I meant. He eventually asked whether I would be able to date someone if the woman is happy to stop creating online 18+ content of herself. Interesting question, I thought, but I didn't even have to think about it, my answer would still be no, I wouldn't be able to. My brother-in-law seemed confused, he was surprised at my "bigoted" thinking. But just to reiterate, anyone doing such things does not alter what I think of them as people - and now I will pull the "I have a friend who does it/used to do it" -card. It's just that I would prefer not to be romantically involved with someone like that... Is that really that "bad"?
So it made me think... How would other people feel about this? Would you be ok having a (serious) partner or spouse doing that type of work?