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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did my neighbour do this?

21 replies

swoooooning · 06/01/2026 16:33

OK so I’ve recently developed a little crush on my neighbour. We haven’t spoken that much in the past but we’re both very good friends with the little old couple that live in between us - they adore him (and me!) & he does lots to help them out. He’s handsome & seems v handy, always doing DIY & has a lovely garden (attractive I think 😂).

We were all chatting the other day & I said I was going somewhere with DD - he ran in & got a card thingy from last time he took his DD there, that had loads of credit left on it for us to spend.

he also said he had a suction cup at work that he was gonna grab yesterday to see if it might work on pulling out a big dent I’ve had in my car for years.

It’s been snowing for days & everyone’s cars have needed some pretty major de-icing each morning, today no exception. But this morning my windscreen & windows were completely clear, and I think the dent has got better too?!

tricky to be sure re the dent as I can’t visualise stuff but I’m like 70% sure it’s less deep.

is there any other reason why my car was the only one with no ice on it, that isn’t him coming and de-icing it (and presumably having a go at the dent), before he left for work?

so dreamy if so!! But what do I do now as I’m not sure!? Don’t want to thank him if he hasn’t 😅 I did panic buy him some beer as a thank you for the credit (there was like £15+ on it) so I can drop that round tomorrow when I look less rough. Maybe?? But do I mention the car?? Aaahhh.

i left DDs abusive dad 9 years ago & have been single ever since, which has been fine really, happy I’ve always put her first & I love my own company but now she’s growing up just recently I’ve been thinking whether it would be nice to have a bit of romance in my life….

OP posts:
Velvetcloud25 · 06/01/2026 16:40

Do you get the feeling that he likes you?

ohyesido · 06/01/2026 17:01

Sounds like he has, since he mentioned the suction cup previously. Ask him if you owe him a thank you in passing next time you see him

swoooooning · 06/01/2026 17:08

Velvetcloud25 · 06/01/2026 16:40

Do you get the feeling that he likes you?

🤷🏽‍♀️ I’m neurodivergent & generally pretty clueless about these things but if he went out in freezing weather at 7.30am to try and fix my dent & de-ice my car then I’m guessing maybe?? Seems above & beyond just being a good neighbour doesn’t it , i thought he’d maybe have a go or give me a lend of the suction cup to try at the weekend or something. we all bring the bins in for each other etc but this feels on another level 😬 wish I had a bloody ring doorbell or something so I knew for sure!

OP posts:
Willsmer · 06/01/2026 17:09

Ask him round for a coffee and cake when DD is not there. Yes I know it sounds like the Gold Blend advert but its a start.

swoooooning · 06/01/2026 17:12

ohyesido · 06/01/2026 17:01

Sounds like he has, since he mentioned the suction cup previously. Ask him if you owe him a thank you in passing next time you see him

But what if he doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about 😂 Do I give him the beer & say just a little thank you for giving us his leftover credits? My other idea was to do some baking, I often bake & give some to my next door neighbour so wouldn’t be weird I don’t think. I’m so rusty!!

OP posts:
Fbfbfvfvv · 06/01/2026 17:13

There doesn’t sound like anybody else it could have been! It must have been him. Your car didn’t magically become de-iced unless you sleep-walk!

swoooooning · 06/01/2026 17:13

Willsmer · 06/01/2026 17:09

Ask him round for a coffee and cake when DD is not there. Yes I know it sounds like the Gold Blend advert but its a start.

I do not think I’m brave enough to do that!!

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 06/01/2026 17:14

What a wonderful neighbour. I would hesitate to assume he’s interested in a romantic relationship, just because he sounds like such a nice guy he may do nice things anyway, if you see what I mean.

Maybe you could match the energy by sharing some baking, or seedlings you have to many of, or something.

And offer opportunities for taking it further (assuming you want to!), like going to an event together, or getting a drink. I feel if you do some of the work and he does some of the work, you’ll find out!

swoooooning · 06/01/2026 17:19

I do know what you mean, he is such a lovely guy that maybe he was just being nice!! I feel like either way we are definitely acquainted now so I will give him the beer or drop him round some baking and have a few more little chats & see what the vibe is, I I guess there is no need to overthink! But green flags galore so far, that’s for sure ☺️

OP posts:
capybaraforlife · 06/01/2026 17:25

Gosh I'm already so invested in this what a lovely story. Please please invite him round! And keep us updated.

Driftingawaynow · 06/01/2026 17:34

I really hope it’s the start of something lovely OP, but keep an eye out for love bombing, theres a dynamic where abusive men start out by doing lots of odd jobs. Just keep your eye on it and good luck

Dartmoorcheffy · 06/01/2026 17:37

Awww this is like the start of a romantic movie . I would definitely say he is interested in you.

SoScarletItWas · 06/01/2026 17:37

I have the answer

Track the footprints in the snow from your car

Just call me Miss Marple

Unicorn34 · 06/01/2026 17:40

Take it slowly, please dont scare him off! Pop round with some cakes to say thank you for the card/credit and then ask if he defrosted your car for you the other morning. If he owns up, say "then I owe you a cuppa with that cake! Youll have to let me know when youre free". He sounds lovely.

ThatLilacTiger · 06/01/2026 17:50

Go round and ask if he did it. Bring a bottle of wine with you as a thank you; maybe he'll invite you in for a glass.

swoooooning · 06/01/2026 17:50

SoScarletItWas · 06/01/2026 17:37

I have the answer

Track the footprints in the snow from your car

Just call me Miss Marple

Oh my god why didn’t I post earlier!! This would have been such a good idea!! We live on a little dead end road so there wouldn’t have been any other footprints to contaminate the scene haha. But it’s pitch black now & can’t really skulk outside with my phone torch like a burglar sadly. Genius though 👏🏼👏🏼

OP posts:
chunkyBoo · 06/01/2026 17:53

As the saying goes, if you hear hooves think horses, not zebra … yes I rather suspect it was him! I second the coffee invite too! 😉

swoooooning · 06/01/2026 17:55

Driftingawaynow · 06/01/2026 17:34

I really hope it’s the start of something lovely OP, but keep an eye out for love bombing, theres a dynamic where abusive men start out by doing lots of odd jobs. Just keep your eye on it and good luck

For sure, I’m hyper aware of that sort of stuff these days & would much rather be alone forever than lower my standards or be with anyone that is unkind in any way! I will say that he’s always doing stuff for our 80+ year old neighbours which I think makes it less likely he has sinister motives but I will definitely be cautious!!

OP posts:
Sometimessmiling · 06/01/2026 18:00

capybaraforlife · 06/01/2026 17:25

Gosh I'm already so invested in this what a lovely story. Please please invite him round! And keep us updated.

Me too we need to know what happens

swoooooning · 06/01/2026 18:04

Unicorn34 · 06/01/2026 17:40

Take it slowly, please dont scare him off! Pop round with some cakes to say thank you for the card/credit and then ask if he defrosted your car for you the other morning. If he owns up, say "then I owe you a cuppa with that cake! Youll have to let me know when youre free". He sounds lovely.

Oh no, the opposite is much more likely - I do nothing & ignore it all in case I’ve got the wrong end of the stick so he thinks I’m not interested (if he is in fact interested in me).

I moved to the other end of the country a couple of years ago & my closest pals up here are probably the aforementioned 80 year old neighbours 😅 I just live in my own calm, predictable & safe little bubble with DD and the dog, which is lovely after the horrors of the past but maybe it’s time to take one little step out of my comfort zone.

Perhaps! Can’t see me scaring him off though, I’m definitely not gonna ask him out!! But I will do sometning nice in reciprocation I think.

OP posts:
RealEagle · 06/01/2026 18:13

Some neighbours are just nice people .My daughters neighbour often de ices her car as he knows she’s sometimes in a rush in the mornings taking the kids to school .But deffo thank him and i hope it might lead to more.

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