Tired of husband putting his fingers in his ears when trying to validate my feelings

[Catty21]

Not sure if I just need to vent or if I’m crazy. Long story short, I had a severe mental health illness a few years ago. I’m still not 100 % there yet but my husband is using this against me all the time and blaming my moods on this, peri and I’ve the also added bonus of Crohn’s disease. I was working full time this time last year, but burnt out partly because I couldn’t cope with being a mum, being a full time house wife and juggling a demanding full time job whilst having my illness to deal with ( my husband washed up but I literally done all the cleaning /cooking ).

If I feel ill and ask for help or my husband does or says something that upsets me, and I try and communicate my feelings, I get shut down with “ it’s your hormones and stop nagging me” followed by him sticking his fingers in he’s ears and telling me to go away or ignore me completely.

I’m so lonely having to deal with my mental health and I hate felling jealous of my friends relationships because you can see they work together and help each other.

I’ve asked the mental health team so many times if they think I’m crazy and it’s all me, but they say no , it’s conflict at home but my husband disagrees that he’s the victim and I’m the mean one.

There’s just no end to it and I’m getting tired.

because I’d have no where to go and we have a kid .The car and house is his so I’d have nothing. don’t even know where I’d start tbh.

Reminds me when I was in an abusive relationship, I took max dose antidepressants for 6 years, had CBT, psychodynamic therapy, DBT, everything…and then the day after I left the abusive dickhead I felt this massive weight lifted off me, it was like I could breathe again, the world went from everything black to being able to see in colour again. I can’t believe the difference having him out of my life did for my mental wellbeing. I’m shocked I didn’t see it at the time! Don’t regret it for a second, best thing I ever did. You deserve freedom from your abuser.

This is good op, now we can help you!

ok, so you say you’re married. How old is your child? If you’re married, assets are all shared regardless of whose name is on the asset. If you are in England, and married, you’ll be financially fine: just have to start looking in to it. We can help.

Wow get your hubby to read this because when I came down with a life changing illness and had to stop work 2 years ago I could not have asked for a better hubby, he totally took up the slack bot only working but then coming home diving in with kids, learning how to do washing and house work properly, he taught himself to cook dinners etc. Now honestly I love my man to bits I can't think of the last time I cooked tea he always has it sorted and heavy things like washing it's rare I even see it he is a pro now. He did break 3 yes 3 Hoover's in 2 months at first pressing way to hard but he got the knackered now haha. But yes i feel super guilty but we communicate very well and I can easily speak of how I feel or how he feels each day

Live. In England , been married 15 years , son is 14 yrs old x

Ok op, so you have a long marriage, that means the house isn’t ’his’, it’s both of yours. Do you know the numbers? How much deposit was paid, how much equity is in it?

He is a nasty piece of work, please leave and set a good example to your son.

Look at entitledto website to work out if you can get some financial support. Child maintenance website to see how much he will have to give you and get some legal advice about getting a divorce.
Like other have said, life will be so much easier without him around

Omg why are you putting up with this. Absolutely no way. Ltb. How dare he treat you like that. Please don't put up with this any longer.

If you left your husband your MH will improve. That’s what the MH team are hinting at.

Leave. He is an abusive, man-child POS and won’t change and you deserve so much better.

He doesn’t love you