OH tried to stuff bagged dog poo down my neck

[ParsleyTheHorse]

I don't know what I want from this really, I think I just need to connect with some other humans over this incident, even if it's only through a screen, because it has shocked me. I'm already training my waterfowl to get in formation.

OH and I are taking the dog for a walk round the village. I have the dog's lead. The dog has a poo. OH goes to pick it up, but the dog starts back kicking so grass and soil is flying (not the poo). I laugh and OH asks me to drag the dog on which I don't immediately do, because the dog looks funny. OH has stepped back and is not hit by any flying grass or soil.

I pull the dog away and OH picks up the poo and looks annoyed as he then approaches me and says "So this is funny too is it?" and lobs the poo bag at me at waist height. It's a gentle lob and I easily side step it and say "Yes" and I'm still smiling as I walk forward, so he then has to go and retrieve his missile. Next thing I know, he's grabbed me by the neck hole in my coat and is trying to stuff the bag of dog poo down inside my coat. He's not playing, he's annoyed. I manage to twist away and say "You always have to go too far don't you?" and he smiles and says he feels vindicated now. I'm not sure if he meant validated, he often uses the wrong words.

He hasn't overtly grabbed me in this way before, often he hurts me covertly by accidentally on purpose whacking me with trollies in supermarkets and garden centres for example (I think its deliberate because he never says sorry, even when he's really hurt me and he never whacks anyone else despite these places being packed with people). So, I'm shocked by what happened today, despite the decades of emotional abuse, controlling manipulative behaviour etc etc. I wonder if this is abusive behaviour escalating in the typical way it does when a woman is prepping her ducks. FFS, I never thought this would happen to me, despite the extensive reading I've done on abusive behaviours. I've read the books and done the Freedom Programme etc etc and it's still taken me by surprise and shocked me.

He's now behaving like nothing has happened and I'm upset but hiding it while furiously thinking through what action I need to take next. I just want a hand hold I think.💐

OP this is classic abusive red flags and you need to fuck him off, seriously. That’s not normal behaviour. If your having doubts about whether to end things, please please speak to the police to get a Clare’s law disclosure asap

This abusive man is escalating.

The next time he decides to teach you a lesson on the dog walk, he may try to push the bag in your mouth.

You need to leave this man today.

Dont give him any warning you are leaving. Be might try to kill you.

Also please Google the cycle of control in domestic abuse it will explain a lot about why control is the root cause of emotional abuse

….. for those saying “why are you still with him”, maybe he has gaslit her for years to make her think everything is fine and she’s over reacting, or made threats if she ever leaves him he will do XYZ, or he has made it financially impossible, he may have isolated her from her friends/family leaving her with little or no support network, he may have battered her self esteem so bad she thinks nobody will take her seriously or she could be too aware of what the repercussions might be if she does try to leave and decided that actually staying is easier/safer.

This is abusive and controlling behaviour. You need to protect yourself and leave

jesus christ, all the best op omg

oh yes. The toothbrush in toilet thing could make someone seriously ill. It's no joke.

So sorry he did this to you. Leave him, OP. X

He will kill you. It starts off like this. Please get help asap. Hugs xxx

As for the dog poo incident tbh i’d also be pissed off that you didn’t move the dog and I’d be embarrassed my OH had such low emotional maturity they thought it was funny.

He didn’t think it was funny - he was trying to assert his control over her and put her back in her box.

Abuse often escalates when you are planning to leave.

And this up - likely he knows you’ve checked out and he’s very angry about that. Get out asap 💐

Keep getting those ducks lined up. You will have a much happier new year once he is gone.

This.
please don’t underestimate the seriousness of what he has done now and possibly previously.
Get. Out.

Yes, all of the above. I will get out, 2026 is my year! I just need to wait a little time for some things to be settled and then I will be off and I will be loudly telling my parents and my friends all about it. I might send them all a link to this thread actually, although it's only scratching the surface, it's a good example of his behaviour.

Yes, he wasn't trying to be funny, he was annoyed and trying to teach me a lesson. Well he did that alright, just not the lesson he thought.

He hasn't overtly grabbed me in this way before, often he hurts me covertly by accidentally on purpose whacking me with trollies in supermarkets and garden centres for example (I think its deliberate because he never says sorry, even when he's really hurt me and he never whacks anyone else despite these places being packed with people)

This man is not on your side, and I would have said this if this dog poo incident had never happened. You may call him 'partner' or 'husband' , but he's your opponent, not a partner or even a friend. He has contempt for you.

So, I'm shocked by what happened today, despite the decades of emotional abuse, controlling manipulative behaviour

Wasn't at all surprised to read this. Again - this man is an enemy, and the fact you might know him very well or live with him doesn't change that.