OH tried to stuff bagged dog poo down my neck

[ParsleyTheHorse]

I don't know what I want from this really, I think I just need to connect with some other humans over this incident, even if it's only through a screen, because it has shocked me. I'm already training my waterfowl to get in formation.

OH and I are taking the dog for a walk round the village. I have the dog's lead. The dog has a poo. OH goes to pick it up, but the dog starts back kicking so grass and soil is flying (not the poo). I laugh and OH asks me to drag the dog on which I don't immediately do, because the dog looks funny. OH has stepped back and is not hit by any flying grass or soil.

I pull the dog away and OH picks up the poo and looks annoyed as he then approaches me and says "So this is funny too is it?" and lobs the poo bag at me at waist height. It's a gentle lob and I easily side step it and say "Yes" and I'm still smiling as I walk forward, so he then has to go and retrieve his missile. Next thing I know, he's grabbed me by the neck hole in my coat and is trying to stuff the bag of dog poo down inside my coat. He's not playing, he's annoyed. I manage to twist away and say "You always have to go too far don't you?" and he smiles and says he feels vindicated now. I'm not sure if he meant validated, he often uses the wrong words.

He hasn't overtly grabbed me in this way before, often he hurts me covertly by accidentally on purpose whacking me with trollies in supermarkets and garden centres for example (I think its deliberate because he never says sorry, even when he's really hurt me and he never whacks anyone else despite these places being packed with people). So, I'm shocked by what happened today, despite the decades of emotional abuse, controlling manipulative behaviour etc etc. I wonder if this is abusive behaviour escalating in the typical way it does when a woman is prepping her ducks. FFS, I never thought this would happen to me, despite the extensive reading I've done on abusive behaviours. I've read the books and done the Freedom Programme etc etc and it's still taken me by surprise and shocked me.

He's now behaving like nothing has happened and I'm upset but hiding it while furiously thinking through what action I need to take next. I just want a hand hold I think.💐

This is not normal behaviour. You know you are in an abusive relationship. Work out your exit plan and start your new better life in 2026.

I think you know what to do OP. Absolutely noone would do that to someone they love and respect.

I was out for walk the other month and I saw a bloke deliberately and roughly push his partner into a bush on their drive. Clearly trying to be funny but it wasn’t and I saw her face.

Why do women put up with this?

I truly hope you’re okay OP.

Just no

I would report him to the police. This is domestic abuse and assault. Contact Women’s Aid, get a prohibitive steps order

This! The escalation is getting worse Op. Get yourself safe.

Expedite those ducks. Good luck you deserve better.

I knew a woman who was with a man just like this. He had a terrible temper but it would manifest as this quiet need to humiliate her (usually if he felt she’d slighted him in some way). I observed it only once - she made a light hearted joke at his expense and he got up and poured a cup of cold coffee over her head. You could see he thoroughly enjoyed it. I remember asking why she put up with that and she just shrugged her shoulders. 20+years later they’re still together and who knows what unspeakable things have happened when it’s just them alone.

You know this already but don’t waste another precious moment with this man.

This was horrible to read. He hates you and is abusive, it’ll only get worse. You deserve so much better than this. Please try and safely leave this man.

Yes, I think he does hate me and treats me with contempt, yet he's terrified of being alone. Oh well, hard cheese for him because he will be alone in the not too distant future 😀

I’d be wary of what he may have done to your toothbrush, makeup and other items you use on your person!

@ParsleyTheHorse I haven’t read all the advice but just your op. You can contact Women’s Aid to get support to leave this awful situation. It looks like the abuse is starting to become physical so you need to get out asap for your safety.

Gosh. How aggressive and scary. I actually found your post a difficult read.

Good luck getting away from him. 2026 will be much better for you.

You deserve much better. You don't owe any updates to anyone here but I really would love to know if you get away from that vile excuse of a man. Good luck

I found that hard to read. Run free op

This exactly the kind of thing my ex would do. That's why he is an ex
And an utterly arse hole

Well done for realising you are being abused. I missed it too. If you can leave sooner, please do so. Please also take the dog with you, it will be at risk if you leave it behind.

Women's Aid can help you deal with the psychological impact of the emotional abuse. I found their help invaluable in moving forward and leaving the trauma behind.

" often he hurts me covertly by accidentally on purpose whacking me with trollies in supermarkets and garden centres".

This really isn't normal. It's downright abusive. As for the dog poo incident...wtf?

I fear things will only escalate further.

Time to get the hell out.

Hopefully this incident will give you the impetus to get out of the relationship once and for all. He sounds vile and you deserve to be free of him.

You know what you have to do OP, just be careful as he may turn very nasty, discuss with Women’s Aid first if you can, as they will give you good advice, good luck, I left a man like this over 7 years ago, best decision I could have made.

That's divorce behaviour.

It might not feel like it but you have come so far already in working out the patterns and educating yourself - well done; that’s hard. You know the next step. Leave. Please take lots of care and have a safety plan worked out. Sad statistics show that there is real danger at this time as behaviour escalates when they start losing control. Women aid are good for help.

You are stronger than you think. He is probably sensing some of your growing strength too, hence the abhorrent dog poo abuse. I am so sorry someone did that to you. That should never happen to anyone ever.

Can you take the dog with you? I'd hate to leave my animals. Obviously your safety comes first and I hope you find a safe way to leave asap x

He’s vile. Get rid.

OP why did you do the Freedom Programme? That's for women who are in or who have had an abusive relationship? Is there something else you're not telling us about this man?

Make sure you erase your browsing history and change all of your passwords.

Log off MN when you're done with a session.

Check for a keylogger on any device that one could be used on.