How many dates* in were you when you realised...

[BreezyPeachGoose]

...they were the one?

*(feel free to substitute "dates" for months or years)

I’m second time round.

I reconnected with an old school friend whose company I’d always enjoyed. Agreed to have dinner 2 weeks later. Out of contact for years and both newly divorced.

Lots of texts in those 2 weeks in which I realised how aligned we were. Seeing him on first date, he felt like family already and we decided to officially date (boyfriend/girlfriend ).

Bought a house together a year later. He proposed to me in March 24 and we married this year.

My wife confessed to me a few weeks ago that she decided I was the one because I turned up one weekend (or she came to me - lived in different countries) with a “Just Because” present, a pair of triangular Amber earrings with silver edging to the two long sides. She decided I was the one as no man had ever bought her jewelry before. That was 23 years ago. Married 20 years ago today.

I'd say about three years. That was 25 years ago.

First time I met him. We met online dating. I had an inkling beforehand too, tbh.

Date number 2! He proposed 6 months later and we've been married 14 years x

I liked him a lot as soon as we met but tried to play it cool, we went on a date a couple of days later and I knew he was the one by the end of it. We’ve hardly been apart since.

I knew by our 3rd date that I’d marry him 🥰 I don’t think he was so sure so quickly but clearly I was right lol

Second date for me (in fact, when he arrived for 2nd date). He says first date. Second marriage for us both (me divorced, him widowed).

2 months

First date here too. We just clicked. It was the same for both of us. Nineteen years on, still feels the same. Feels fresh and new and like we've always known each other and totally get each other. I feel incredibly lucky and don't take it for granted.

Somewhere between 5 and 10 dates I decided I really wanted to give this a proper go.

I don't believe in The One.

First date.

I don’t think I ever had a sudden realisation. We were 18 and tried to have an open relationship because we didn’t want to be tied down. Didn’t happen, we never even looked at anyone else and were like moths to a flame for each other. Gave up after a month and committed having spend every free second together. It was like he felt like family immediately. Never lived apart since… we’ve been together 13 years. Married 1.

We knew each other through a hobby before he asked me out, I honestly was completely swept off my feet the first time we had a proper conversation and had a couple of months of wondering if I should ask him out… turns out he was in the exact same boat

That’s an awful lot of love at first sights.

It's a long story, but I knew about a week before the first date. We had worked together for some years and were at a work friend's wedding and I just had this feeling. Spent the night of the wedding together and went home with him after and didn't leave for two days (no funny business though!).

well we moved in at 4 months, he asked me at 2 months but it took time to find somewhere. engaged at 6 months, married a year later so I guess very very early. I don't know, I can't remember thinking "this is it!" so much as it just being...

well we moved in at 4 months, he asked me at 2 months but it took time to find somewhere. engaged at 6 months, married a year later so I guess very very early. I don't know, I can't remember thinking "this is it!" so much as it just being...

As cheesy as it sounds.... the night we met.

Met in a bar, he came back to mine with my friends and we all sat up talking and laughing for hours. The girls went to bed and we sat up talking until day light when he had to leave as he was visiting my city for a night out that he ended up not continuing after meeting me.

He left in a taxi to the hotel his friends were in about 9am and we didnt change numbers or anything just names and where we were from. I cried when I realised id never see him again now after only meeting him 12 hours before.
2 days later we both sent each other a message on fb messenger at exactly the same time, it was weird.

Met up a week later and never been apart since (mostly). Fell pregnant after 8 weeks (first time doing the deed together) I was on the pill but on antibiotics and we had spoke about kids and marriage already. He moved here, we bought a house, got married and I'd marry him over and over again.

I remember saying to a friend a few months in that I hadn’t felt like this before. I’d always had the upper hand in other relationships whereas with this one he played it quite cool and I felt we were more equally into one another. He never really showed his hand and neither did I.

We’ve been together 25 years now and hand on heart, it was only about three years ago that I really started to think about him in terms of being “the one”. I’m not going into huge details but we’ve never had that “we’re soulmates” kind of relationship - it’s always been a bit more rocky and up and down and weve always bickered a lot. Anyway, we nearly got divorced in 2023, I saw a solicitor and everything. I just felt let down by him in different ways and ongoing financial stress had really messed us up. He could be uncaring - I often wondered if he was ND as he struggled with in-depth conversations and would walk away leaving me feeling resentful and upset. I was extremely unhappy and felt lonely.

When I tried to leave he fell apart - not in a manipulative way, he just sort of went into shock. He realised I meant it this time and I told him my feelings for him had been slowly eradicated.

We talked and talked - about things we hadn’t discussed in 20-odd years together - and he listened and took accountability for the first time in his life. He said things he’d never said to me before and it was quite a revelation. He told me it was up to me if I wanted to leave he couldn’t stop me but that he was going to change.

And he did! 3 years on he is still the same man but very, very different. He’s become the caring, chivalrous and thoughtful person I’d always wanted in a husband. He puts the effort in every day. Just even small things like doing jobs when I ask (or without me asking) and making me cups of tea. Showing an interest in things that I’m interested in. Buying me flowers for no reason, asking me if there’s anything he can do for me, being sympathetic when I’ve got yet another migraine!

The effort he’s put into really listening to me and making the changes I needed has shown me that he loved me all along - and I know it hasn’t been easy for a 52 yo man to change at this stage!

He has made several extremely romantic gestures that he had to put a lot of time, money and effort into and that shocked the life out of me!

I really feel now like he is “the one” and my soulmate. I now feel like I can rely on him 100% (which was a lot of what all of this was about). One of things I said to him when I wanted to leave was that I never felt he had my back - and he was profoundly shocked at that and very upset. Before I used to often feel sad and like there was maybe someone better suited to me out there. Now I know I really would never find a better man - and I wouldn’t want to.

So yes, sorry for the ramble - but it took me about 22 years 😂

1st here too. But it could have just been because I had had countless useless dates before so went in with zero expectation and within a few minutes I thought "oh my god, I actually like him!"