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Original poster

Very slow replies. Is he interested?

32 replies

sleepaways · 22/12/2025 20:50

Started speaking to someone I knew 6 years ago.

No messaging at all at the weekend. And painfully slow replies during 9-5 when he’s at work - as he is busy in a job you can’t casually whip a phone out to text. Fine. I wouldn’t expect communication during working hours.

But radio silence in the evenings. Absolutely nothing. And 0 at the weekend. Not a word. Come Monday morning, he messages a reply to something sent Friday. He said it has been a hectic weekend. Again, normal as we’ve just started speaking.

What I find odd is he only ever talks to me during work hours. Not when he’s home, when he’d presumably have actual time to talk?

Part of me wonders, does he actually have a family? And has chosen to keep silent about it - His social media has old pictures and nothing to hint about his current life

He isn’t really interested, is he? It’s a shame as the text have a lot of content and seem genuinely interesting catch up type texts.

OP posts:
upperlowerallover · 22/12/2025 20:51

If he wanted to he would, sorry op

Arlanymor · 22/12/2025 20:52

Have you started speaking in a romantic sense or just as old acquaintances catching up?

Original poster
sleepaways · 22/12/2025 20:52

Arlanymor · 22/12/2025 20:52

Have you started speaking in a romantic sense or just as old acquaintances catching up?

Slight flirtation mixed with catching up

OP posts:
paddleboardingmum · 22/12/2025 20:52

Wife or girlfriend was my first thought.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 22/12/2025 20:53

Ask him

Moonlightfrog · 22/12/2025 20:54

He’s married or at least in a relationship.

Numberblocky · 22/12/2025 20:55

I don't usually like it when people immediately say "oooo maybe he's married" on these threads... but.... maybe he's in a relationship if he isn't messaging evenings or weekends?

CoffeeIsMyLove · 22/12/2025 20:56

When this happened to me, I was basically a side piece while he was trying to chase someone better. I was the insurance policy he didn't need in the end, then he ghosted me & would occasionally message me once every year or so. His replies were only ever consistent when he thought he was on track to get some 🙄

Original poster
sleepaways · 22/12/2025 21:17

Thing is, my goal was to go for a drink and sleep with him if the feeling was mutual! So we haven’t even got to that part yet

OP posts:
OldBeyondMyYears · 22/12/2025 21:31

Have you actually asked him OP?

’Hey Bill…is the reason you can only text intermittently and during work hours, because you’re at home with your wife the rest of the time?’

TwistedWonder · 22/12/2025 21:36

If he’s not responding in the evenings or at weekends it’s because he’s not alone at those times.

He’s not single is the most obvious answer but as others have said, if he wanted to he would

Original poster
sleepaways · 22/12/2025 21:51

TwistedWonder · 22/12/2025 21:36

If he’s not responding in the evenings or at weekends it’s because he’s not alone at those times.

He’s not single is the most obvious answer but as others have said, if he wanted to he would

I’d usually agree. My only reservation is it’s Christmas time and maybe he’s catching up on wrapping or whatever else? He did say today he had last minute gifts coming

Before today, the conversation was very much on the grounds of catching up vaguely. Today’s it’s been very detailed and him asking a lot of stuff

I was going to ask him out for a drink? Because if he is just not bothered my messaging, maybe meeting up would tell me more? And if he doesn’t want to, I know where I stand - someone who can cut their loses without the ‘what if’ but also feel a bit puzzled about why he’s asking so many things and telling me stuff if he just doesn’t want to know

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 22/12/2025 21:54

Wife and kids.

SwansOnTheLake · 22/12/2025 22:09

sleepaways · 22/12/2025 21:51

I’d usually agree. My only reservation is it’s Christmas time and maybe he’s catching up on wrapping or whatever else? He did say today he had last minute gifts coming

Before today, the conversation was very much on the grounds of catching up vaguely. Today’s it’s been very detailed and him asking a lot of stuff

I was going to ask him out for a drink? Because if he is just not bothered my messaging, maybe meeting up would tell me more? And if he doesn’t want to, I know where I stand - someone who can cut their loses without the ‘what if’ but also feel a bit puzzled about why he’s asking so many things and telling me stuff if he just doesn’t want to know

Show quote history

Kindly, I can't think of a man I know who wraps presents rather than chat to a woman he's interested in.

It is either a friendship or it's more than that.

Who made contact first after 6 years- and why?
No one resurrects an old flame or a friend without a good reason.

NessShaness · 22/12/2025 22:34

Please don’t start making excuses for him already OP.

He’s in a relationship.

chargarl · 22/12/2025 22:46

Did you not like the replies you got on your other thread OP?
So you decided to change your name and try again?

As people on the other thread said, stop overthinking and ask him if he'd like to meet up for a drink. Then you'll have an answer and that will be the end of it.

He's probably in a relationship and even if he's not, doesn't mean he wants to shag some person he knew 6 years ago who has popped up out of the blue a few days before Christmas, the busiest time of the year overanalyzing every single text he does or doesn't send.

LiveToTell · 22/12/2025 23:28

I would bet my house on him being in a relationship. Been there…communication was exactly how you have described, including the “hectic weekend” comment.

Probably the same guy 😂

Only joking, there’s loads of them out there like this unfortunately! The signs are there, so I’d listen to them.

LiveToTell · 22/12/2025 23:32

Christ; no one, absolutely no one spends every night in the week and all weekend wrapping presents. I’ve spent hundreds on my child and got all the wrapping up done in two hours.

Don’t make ridiculous, unrealistic excuses up for this man, who for whatever reason has not revealed he’s in a relationship.

Mollydoggerson · 22/12/2025 23:32

Not interested

VaxMerstappen · 22/12/2025 23:37

Wasn't there a very similar thread to this the other day? If it's the same person making a mountain over a molehill as to whether to ask him for a drink, leave the poor guy alone.

You may want to shag him, but after six years you're virtually strangers and know nothing about his life or current circumstances. No response is a response.

smallsilvercloud · 22/12/2025 23:39

Nothing will stop a man when interested, he would find time, break at work, soon after he gets home, definitely at weekends, he wouldn’t want to lose your interest to another guy. When they don’t message for days, simply they don’t care enough.
Maybe in a relationship or he only sees you as platonic so he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression.

LiveToTell · 22/12/2025 23:40

VaxMerstappen · 22/12/2025 23:37

Wasn't there a very similar thread to this the other day? If it's the same person making a mountain over a molehill as to whether to ask him for a drink, leave the poor guy alone.

You may want to shag him, but after six years you're virtually strangers and know nothing about his life or current circumstances. No response is a response.

It’s clearly the same poster; I’ve just read it.

And now I have read it, this guy hasn’t done anything wrong at all, it sounds like he’s given you a few friendly replies and that’s it. You need to steer the conversation towards asking him if he is married etc and then you can move on and forget him.

He’s definitely still in a relationship though.

Bones101 · 23/12/2025 02:21

As I always say to my mates, if you have to ask then no he isn't and you deserve someone mad about you.

ActiveTiger · 23/12/2025 03:49

Nothing this man is doing is showing he wants to be anything other than a friend and a distant one at that, you sound weird to me tho all the things your saying wanting sex etc with him. Leave the guy alone he just wants to text now and then he doesn't want you and nothing has implied it.

winter8090 · 23/12/2025 04:42

It’s textbook for being married or in a relationship.
Your message doesn’t state in what context you got in touch. Was it Facebook? A dating site? Who reached out?
I'm thinking perhaps your thinking relationship and hes thinking catch up.
Jumping into bed in a situation that doesn’t feel right will only end one way. Don’t do it.

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