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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner is being so nasty and I’m ill

49 replies

Wheezybreezy · 19/12/2025 16:22

Hi, first time posting here so please be gentle. I have been in hospital since Tuesday as I got flu and I have severe asthma which was exacerbated due to having the flu. GP sent me straight to hospital due to my history with severe asthma (been hospitalised numerous times).

My partner is never supportive when I’m ill. Tbh when I’m ill he becomes extremely nasty and it’s like I’m the world’s biggest convenience and I’m putting it on.

Long story short since Tuesday he has been extremely nasty, it’s been an inconvenience for him to bring me stuff to hospital. Last night he came to hospital and was in a stinking mood because he got soaked. He puffed and stomped about and then sat on his phone. I have just got discharged a few hours ago and said I’d like my favourite dish to eat as the hospital food wasn’t great. He then started shouting, getting angry and stomping about. I said to him about how he has been the last few days and he’s saying I’m at fault. I’m in tears. He’s now away out on his Xmas do. AIBU?

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 19/12/2025 16:25

Honestly, there is no future in this relationship. Get rid. You deserve better.

ginasevern · 19/12/2025 16:27

I'm so sorry OP. Men are too fond of this sort of shit. Bet he doesn't speak to his work colleagues or mates like this. He'd get a thump in the gob if he did. Have you got kids together? Are you in a position to leave, because he isn't going to magically improve. In fact he'll only get worse.

TaraC25 · 19/12/2025 16:30

What a shit of a man. Do you have decent friends or family? I hope you have a support network aside from him! X

Original poster
Wheezybreezy · 19/12/2025 16:30

ginasevern · 19/12/2025 16:27

I'm so sorry OP. Men are too fond of this sort of shit. Bet he doesn't speak to his work colleagues or mates like this. He'd get a thump in the gob if he did. Have you got kids together? Are you in a position to leave, because he isn't going to magically improve. In fact he'll only get worse.

That’s the thing his stepdad is having a day op on Monday and when he seen him on Sunday he was telling him you need to rest up, look after yourself and offering to collect him from hospital after the surgery.
No we don’t have kids together, I have kids from previous relationship. I’m still so ill atm for strength for anything.

OP posts:
OldGothsFadeToGrey · 19/12/2025 16:31

Dump him. Best Christmas present you will ever get.

Original poster
Wheezybreezy · 19/12/2025 16:31

TaraC25 · 19/12/2025 16:30

What a shit of a man. Do you have decent friends or family? I hope you have a support network aside from him! X

Unfortunately I have very limited supports and he knows that.

OP posts:
Poppolo · 19/12/2025 16:31

Get your strength back then get rid. What a colloidal disappointment of a human.

Person93369 · 19/12/2025 16:33

Oh my. Learn from this a get rid! Not only is he no help he’s adding to your stress. He’s adding nothing to your life. Dump him.

FinallyHere · 19/12/2025 16:34

Yeah, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. Get your strength back and then get rid

Anywherebuthere · 19/12/2025 16:37

As soon as you are better, leave or make him leave. This isn't a relationship to be continuing with. You are so lucky you don't have children with him.

He's showing you what he thinks of you. If he isnt supportive of you when you're at your worst he certainly doesn't deserve you at your best.

ThisJadeBear · 19/12/2025 16:38

He’s a pig. This relationship is abusive.
Doctors don’t send people to hospital for pitting it on! This strain of flu is rampant and you are at risk.
He’s no support to you anyway he’s just upsetting you.
Do you live together? Please don’t let him have any more of your life. He doesn’t deserve it.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 19/12/2025 16:40

He should be looking after you! How can you grow old with someone who can’t look after you when you have the flu? Get out now and find a partner

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/12/2025 16:41

Well, that ain't no partner, that's for sure.

Original poster
Wheezybreezy · 19/12/2025 16:41

ThisJadeBear · 19/12/2025 16:38

He’s a pig. This relationship is abusive.
Doctors don’t send people to hospital for pitting it on! This strain of flu is rampant and you are at risk.
He’s no support to you anyway he’s just upsetting you.
Do you live together? Please don’t let him have any more of your life. He doesn’t deserve it.

I said this to him that you don’t get kept in hospital for no reason. He has been so pissed off because I have been in hospital the past three nights. I think he just reckons your out now and get on with it. We live together, been together 10 years.

OP posts:
HippopotamusForChristmas · 19/12/2025 16:41

This is the umpteenth thread on shit men. Why do you all put up with it? How do you end up with these fucking pricks in the first place?

ThisJadeBear · 19/12/2025 16:42

10 years. Do you want another decade of this?!!!

ArthriticOldLabrador · 19/12/2025 16:42

100% get rid.
Time to put on your big girl pants and find the strength. You are worth more than this.

ThisJadeBear · 19/12/2025 16:43

10 years. Do you want another decade of this?!!!
You deserve more and your DC deserve to see their mum with someone decent.

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 19/12/2025 16:43

Your partner is supposed to enhance your life, not shit on you when you are at your most vulnerable. This guy clearly has contempt for you.

Make your New Years resolution to leave this asshole.

Soozikinzii · 19/12/2025 16:43

I do think the true test of a relationship is how a partner responds when you are ill . Its easy to be nice when everything's going great . Not good . Get getter then end it .

Purplewarrior · 19/12/2025 16:53

Bin him. He’s a piece of shit

TwistedWonder · 19/12/2025 16:56

HippopotamusForChristmas · 19/12/2025 16:41

This is the umpteenth thread on shit men. Why do you all put up with it? How do you end up with these fucking pricks in the first place?

And there’s always kids from previous relationships being dragged through the shitshow and just having to lump living in an abusive home.

ldnmusic87 · 19/12/2025 16:58

That's awful. When my Mum was in the hospital he visited constantly, got her everything she needed, advocated for her.

You deserve more!

Namechangedndnf · 19/12/2025 16:58

Recover and the get away.

my husband is the same. Only showed his t egg he colours when I got ill. We have dc and it complicates things massively as DH would be a nightmare to divorce - staying to avoid shared custody.

Piggled · 19/12/2025 17:00

Men get upset when their wife appliances stop functioning.
he doesn’t love you. I would leave.