Uninvited for Xmas - WWYD?

[BigDogJR]

Last year for Xmas DH and I stayed with my DPs in a cottage near family and had Xmas day itself with my DSis and her family and then seeing various relatives in the days afterward. My Dbro said this year it was his turn to see my DPs so we said ok we’ll book a place again. We talked about where we’d stay and said the dates would be the same as last year. This was in October, then this week he’s said he’ll be having Xmas day just with his DP and their DC. Our DPs said hang on I thought we were coming to you? And he said we’d misunderstood and we’d see him on another day. The thing is we’ve passed the cancellation date to get a refund on the cottage for those dates. If we’d known at the time we would have had DPs to my house for Xmas day and travelled on the 26th. None of us really want to cook a full Xmas dinner in a rental kitchen when you need so many pans and bits and bobs (1st world problem I know). Would you be annoyed? He has form for being a bit flaky so I don’t know if that’s clouding my judgment. But it’s the first time he’s turned it on other people, saying we made a mistake. My DM remembers discussing the Turkey with him as DPs were going to pay for it. So we will have DPs to mine for Xmas day. But I’m a bit tempted to not see him over Xmas which is really petty I know. How would you respond?

It's sounds like an awful lot of assumption here which has caused the confusion! It sounds like the brother invited the parents but the parents assumed the OP was invited as well so booked this property for them all, but the brother hadn't actually invited them.

I'd suggest a family WhatsApp group so you can all speak to each other well in advance .

Invite them all to yours next year, OP, then you're in control of what's happening.

Your DB saying it's his turn to see the parents rather than saying I will host the whole family sounds pretty clear to me. Parents were invited, you were not. Your DB has decided against any of you coming now as he has had extra people invite themselves.

Well if he wants his parents he gets to drive them doesn't he 🤷‍♀️ can you sell the booking on? Or can it be resold through whoever you booked it with?

Can you cancel the accommodation without having a large chunk of money taken? I’d guess not so close to Christmas. In which case I’d book Christmas lunch in a restaurant or pub instead and have a nice time with your parents

So your brother says it is his turn to host parents?
Or did he mean it was his turn to be hosted by you, rather than your sister going?
Either way, it sounds like he does not want to host the whole family.
I would go up to the cottage with your parents and cater just for yourselves then.

if the arrangements were made a year ago, wouldn’t you just check before you paid the final amount for the cottage, that these arrangements were still on.
I think when your brother said he wanted to see his parents this year, he didn’t mean you and your husband as well.
If you assign ‘DP’ to your parents, don’t use it for partner as well.
Just go to the cottage and have easy meals, like other people have suggested.