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Original poster

Are All Men Lousy Sexual Partners?

62 replies

TooOld4theBS · 23/11/2025 19:20

I’m 64. Between my marriage and my current relationship, I’ve been intimate with 5 mental of them, including my ex-husband, we’re not good in bed, AT ALL! My current partner is the ABSOLUTE WORST! I am sooooo turned off that, whatever brings the relationship to a close, I will NEVER get involved in another.

Has it just been my bad luck or are most men just terrible at intimacy?

OP posts:
BuckChuckets · 24/11/2025 18:06

I've slept with over 100 men and they range from crap to phenomenal. The crap ones don't get a second chance. Life is WAY too short for bad sex.

Disturbia81 · 24/11/2025 18:36

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 24/11/2025 17:30

Surely good sex isn't just down to the man. Women can be shit in bed too.

Good sex is about communication. Not everyone likes the same thing, at the same speed etc etc.

Things I did to my ex that drove him wild, my DH wasn't as crazy about. The assumption can be that well the ex liked it so I will just do that to you. And that worked both ways. We had to learn from each other what it was that we both liked. Show them how you want to be touched, how long for, how gently (or not) you want to be touched.

Everyone is teachable to give and receive pleasure. Sometimes though, even with teaching, the connection somehow just still doesn't work.

Maybe you have just been unlucky.

This is very true. The amount of men I’ve been with who say many women are bad in bed, and it’s not just about acts, it’s about being passionate, affectionate, involved, free, connected, enthusiastic.

Disturbia81 · 24/11/2025 18:37

MinglyMadly · 24/11/2025 17:20

Although I don't think it comes down to orgasm. My best lover was my recent ex, everything he did was a huge turn on from the way he kissed to how he moved, how he held me, how he communicated, how he enjoyed himself and enjoyed and appreciated me. It was mind blowing but it had nothing to do with whether I orgasmed or not. But I get your drift.

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Yeah I rarely orgasm but it doesn’t factor into my enjoyment.

BeAppleNow · 24/11/2025 18:56

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 24/11/2025 17:30

Surely good sex isn't just down to the man. Women can be shit in bed too.

Good sex is about communication. Not everyone likes the same thing, at the same speed etc etc.

Things I did to my ex that drove him wild, my DH wasn't as crazy about. The assumption can be that well the ex liked it so I will just do that to you. And that worked both ways. We had to learn from each other what it was that we both liked. Show them how you want to be touched, how long for, how gently (or not) you want to be touched.

Everyone is teachable to give and receive pleasure. Sometimes though, even with teaching, the connection somehow just still doesn't work.

Maybe you have just been unlucky.

100% this , maybe the OP has had some bad luck, or maybe she just cannot communicate her feelings and needs very well

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango1 · 24/11/2025 18:59

I would never stay with any man where the sex is shit. Why would you?

BauhausOfEliott · 25/11/2025 00:15

Gymbunny2025 · 24/11/2025 15:10

Fetishes are slightly different to kinks?

And there’s a big difference between a couple enjoying a dom/sub dynamic (for example) together. To a man with a fetish about wearing women’s underwear or having sex in jelly or whatever and his partner going along with it to keep him, despite getting zero enjoyment from it herself

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There are way more women with those sorts of fetishes than you think.

Bungle2168 · 25/11/2025 00:19

An ape playing a Stradivarius still sounds like an ape, and then she blames the quality of her violin.

Gymbunny2025 · 25/11/2025 06:40

BauhausOfEliott · 25/11/2025 00:15

There are way more women with those sorts of fetishes than you think.

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I’m really really not sure there are!

lilkitten · 25/11/2025 11:19

I've had a lot of lovers, and only two have not been great

Jayne35 · 25/11/2025 15:56

No, some are amazing. Having said that my first 6 partners were awful, and selfish in bed, I was becoming disillusioned about sex before I was even 21!

Boomer55 · 25/11/2025 16:38

TooOld4theBS · 23/11/2025 19:20

I’m 64. Between my marriage and my current relationship, I’ve been intimate with 5 mental of them, including my ex-husband, we’re not good in bed, AT ALL! My current partner is the ABSOLUTE WORST! I am sooooo turned off that, whatever brings the relationship to a close, I will NEVER get involved in another.

Has it just been my bad luck or are most men just terrible at intimacy?

Nope. As a Boomer I’ve had two husbands and now have a partner. All good, no issues. 👍

Slightyamusedandsilly · 26/11/2025 07:24

BeAppleNow · 24/11/2025 18:56

100% this , maybe the OP has had some bad luck, or maybe she just cannot communicate her feelings and needs very well

Show quote history

That's a bit unfair. Many of us have spent time communicating what we like/need (as I have) and each time, it's 'forgotten' or they just don't bother (and I assume don't really care if they 'forget' or ignore it).

As a society, sex does tend to be seen as something men do/take from women. Definitely this is changing. But given the prevalence of porn and the whole on line dating scene where most male OLD users are just trying to get a shag, the focus on womens pleasure just isn't up there on the list of importance. It's hard to shake off the influence of that on men.

And also, given that women's sexual pleasure needs can at times differ greatly to what men like, doing something for/with a woman that doesn't actively get a selfish bloke off, at times just doesn't happen.

I've been there. If the last 3 or 4 times we had sex, I've told him either I don't like that or I do like this and he 'forgets' I'm just going to assume he's shit in bed OR that he's selfish.

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