Abusive man breaks girlfriend's neck

[Zenana]

Teacher was left paralysed after boyfriend 'flew into a rage' and broke her neck, trial hears - LancsLive https://share.google/5352s57KEtbww895C

This horrified me. Some years ago my ex, who I was in a relationship with at the time, punched me in the face. When I retaliated he pushed me to the floor and bent my head over and sat on my neck. This could have been me.

I hope they give this pig a life sentence.

A woman is killed every three days in the UK so I guess we shouldn't be surprised 😔

Well, if past abuse against women trials are anything to go by, it was mutual sex play gone wrong, he's suffered enough, he has a promising future and really he's the victim anyway

Many years ago my BIL who was at the time quite high up in the police used to describe that they were constantly being called out to ‘domestics’ involving DV ( usually the man but not always) - and it was not taken as seriously as it should be by the police either -

This case is so horrible. What this woman has suffered and will continue to suffer just beggars belief.

It is so easy though to remain in a relationship as this process escalates. From put downs, a bit of contempt occasionally, then shouting and deliberate intimidation, then being backed into a corner, then dragged about, then pushed, then blows to the head or face or pressure on the neck. Then full on violence with no restraints.

I would never ever criticise anyone for remaining in a relationship as this boiling the frog process goes on - I did it myself- but I think the ultimate, the terrifying red flag has to be pressure or a blow to the head, face or neck, or bending you over. When a man does that he’s making it clear he is capable of - & will progress to- extreme violence.

There is no such thing as a light flick or light pressure on the face or neck. Ever.

As a former victim of DA it was not taken seriously by the police at all and I had to leave without support.

Someone told me the best thing a woman can do to protect herself is to remain single.

What a sad inditement of men.

What is depressing is that VAWG is treated as almost inevitable and too big a problem to solve. It seems a no brainer to make misogny a hate crime but they won’t do it because it’s so prevalent it’s impossible to police.

Same with the huge amount of men downloading and looking at abuse images. Too common to do anything about.

As a school governor you get presented with anonymised data that show the pupils whose development is affected by DV and ‘chaotic’ home lives. It’s just treated as every day humdrum human shit that schools have to deal with but no agency or authority hauls those parents or violent men up to account for the collateral damage. The tax payer ends up funding the consequences of fucked up lives in whatever form - social services, prison, benefits…

Women and children don’t matter. Only what men get off on matters. It’s time things changed.

That was in Cornwall. I have a friend who lives near where it happened. I think the bloke was from Penzance.

Absolutely horrendous 😢

I know plenty of men like this and worse

i never really see much remorse with any of them. Some maybe, not many.

He will get a few years custodial, the rest out on licence.

his poor victim. Really feel for her

I had to stop reading where she was describing it. There are no words.

Shame her adult children and family members cannot be left in closed room with him for 24 hrs

"Is it a case of dumping at the first sign of a red flag and not giving them the benefit of the doubt?"

For sure. The answer is YES before we've even finished reading the question. But what is terrifying is that dumping can be the most dangerous time for a woman when it comes to dealing with these violent bastards. You stay with them, you are in danger. You leave them, you are in danger. Then there are the number of women who repeatedly report their abusive partners/exes to police and then end up dead because police don't properly follow-up/don't utilise risk assessment tool properly or at all, or else rely too much on their risk assessment tool in lieu of their own better judgement (and the tool downgrades the real risk), etc.

Awful

Very true

I couldn't believe this guy in the news recently only got 10 years. How on earth can that not be a lengthy sentence?
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c2drkz3n69eo

An eye for an eye is the only reasonable solution in these cases.

I used to work in education. There was a direct correlation between terrible home lives and DC who were disturbed in various ways - lack of focus, desperately needy etc.

It was upsetting to deal with because there was so little we could do.

I couldn't read all of it but absolutely horrendous. The sad thing is I'm not really shocked anymore. So many women and girls still suffering abuse and nothing seems to be done. How many young boys are watching this abuse at home and just think it's normal behaviour.
We need a massive increase in jail time for anyone convicted

And educate young boys /teens not to lift their hand and respect female choices especially regarding consent .

Although this happens in biological families too, it is so much more common in blended families where there isn’t a genetic link between step dads and children.

Ive chosen not to have the sort of relationship which would lead towards marriage, blending etc in part for that reason. I date casually but the kids have never met anyone I’ve been involved in, and I wouldn’t have them in the house when the kids are there.

Interestingly so so many people are suprised, and try to encourage me, and push me towards that. Although the historic stigma against single parents has moved on, there is still a real assumption that cohabitation/marriage is the aim.

In my opinion changing that assumption that marriage or living together is the “happily ever after” we should be aiming for and acknowledging that adults living alone is a happy viable alternative, would go a long way to helping people in abusive relationships more comfortable about leaving.

Hi sorry for reactivating this thread - I didn’t realise there was already a post about Trudi.
Thanks for highlighting it @Zenana

Trudi is my cousin - I posted this thread earlier

including a link to the most recent interview with Trudi

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15336355/Left-paralysed-attack-abuse-trudi-burgess.html?ico=authors_pagination_mobile

in her own words “I'm speaking out and planning to write a book about my experience because I know there are thousands of women up and down the country in similar abusive relationships. If I can help just one of them to leave, then it's worth it”

I'm so sorry @RedRoseCountyGirl for her and your family.

Thanks @Zenana
it’s been absolutely horrendous, as you can imagine.
Sentencing isn’t until February so there is still a wait until we know how long he will be locked up

I’ll be passing all these messages to Trudi so thanks to everyone who commented

The lady was a colleague of mine, I wish she had opened up to one of us we are all in shock.

Sad but true.