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Original poster

Age gap worries

44 replies

Shootingstar1111 · 20/11/2025 11:12

I met my partner in August, at first I was reluctant to go on a date as he is 27 and me 37. I decided that a bit of fun wouldn't hurt and decided to go.. fast forward to now and I can say hand on heart I have never been happier. Nobody has ever made me feel so valued and loved.

I have 2 children and he has a daughter, we are both on the same page in not wanting anymore. We get on amazingly and this is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in.

He is a romantic at heart, he says as far as he is concerned he will never want anyone else.

I know it is early days but I am falling head over heels, I just worry that the age gap will be an issue in years to come. I look quite young for my age and he is quite rugged so you wouldn't know unless we told you.

Any success stories with age gaps?

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 20/11/2025 11:14

Why not just enjoy it now and dont worry too much about what might happen 20 years jn the future?

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/11/2025 11:14

Meh - 10 years isn't that big a gap!

TheRozzers · 20/11/2025 11:16

Omg 10 years is nothing. Go for it! Sounds like you are really well matched.

Me and DP have a 22 year age gap, been together 15 years and it hasn’t really been an issue.

HealthyLiquorice · 20/11/2025 11:21

Go for it! My current guy is 20 years younger than me. Like you, it started out as a bit of fun. He approached me, and I was very reluctant at first so took us a while to get together, but now we are, its amazing. I do always have the thought in my mind, he will eventually find someone nearer his own age. When he does, I will be sad, but also happy for him, as he is a great guy and deserves happiness. But for now, i am living in the moment, and having the time of my life

BauhausOfEliott · 20/11/2025 11:22

I’d barely consider 10 years to be an age gap!

sequinpanties · 20/11/2025 11:24

It's less about the 10 years and more about when it hits. Eg 57/67 not an issue but 27 no. He's barely begun his life.

Karatema · 20/11/2025 11:40

Success stories - yes. We had clients who had a 15 year plus age gap, him younger than her, and they were very happy together. He doted on her even when she became very poorly in her 80s. She lasted until she was 90 and he died in his early 80s but he was never the same man once she’d gone.
All of our younger male, older female clients appear to be very happy.
I only know one person who it didn’t work out for and she married him but he left once he received his British nationality! She moved away and cut contact with us all because she was embarrassed for being taken for a fool!

Nine2five · 20/11/2025 11:42

BauhausOfEliott · 20/11/2025 11:22

I’d barely consider 10 years to be an age gap!

Neither did I until I was a widow at the age of 41 with 3 young children. I wouldn’t do it again.

RelationshipTherapist2 · 20/11/2025 12:44

Life is too short to worry about age gaps.

A lot of people never find someone who makes them as happy as it sounds like you two are.

Enjoy the adventure!

Horsemadlady1234 · 20/11/2025 15:13

I’ve been with my partner 8 years he’s 12 years younger we have two kids together I’m now 41. Alls fine I look young for my age someone said they thought I was 22 so it’s all good lol

Gmary22 · 20/11/2025 15:17

My Nan is 10 years older than my Grandad, you would never know. She's 94 and hes 84 and they are just old people. Even when they were 55 and 45, I never even knew they werent the same age. Just do what makes you happy.

sweetpickle2 · 20/11/2025 15:21

I don't think the age gap is a problem, but three months isn't very long for him to be saying things like "as far as he is concerned he will never want anyone else." especially when you both have children. That would be my biggest concern right now.

Mh67 · 20/11/2025 15:23

My friend is married 39 years and there is a 10 year gap x

MimiMe24 · 20/11/2025 15:28

My MIL has a 17 year age gap with her husband. Been together over 30 years and very happy

StruggleFlourish · 20/11/2025 15:32

Hi there, I'm so glad to hear that you guys make each other so happy and that your families are blended and you're not having any issues, and it's very wise of you to be thinking towards the future. 10 years isn't THAT much of an age gap but, it also is.

My husband was 23 and a half years older than i.
And we had, a mostly wonderful life together.
Oh sure there's always the ups and downs.
And things happen because you're both in different stages of your life...
Like for instance, when we first met, the sex was incredible! And it was for the next 7 years, until his cardiologist recommended he go on some blood pressure medication which adversely affected his ability to get erections spontaneously, lasting, multiple, etc. In other words it really hurt our sex life. Now of course, there's way more to a relationship (and way more to sex) than just how hard a guy can get... But that really sucked for us. We didn't talk an awful lot about it because I didn't want him to feel badly, but I missed the fun of earlier years and I know it made him feel bad too.
Not a big deal, but it is something to think about.

Also, no matter how healthy you are and active, energy levels will not always match up. In our case it was over 20 years but in your case it's 10 years and hey, can a 30 year old do a 20 year old can do, kind of 60 year old do it a 50 year old can do, can an 80 year old do it a 70 year old can do? Well it depends. Depends on the person and depends on what the thing is right? So you don't really know. It's good to think about these things, but you're not really going to know until it happens.

Unfortunately I lost my husband, (it was very sudden and unexpected) but I believe that if that hadn't happened, we would still be together. Yeah I'm sure that we would still have ups and downs as we all do, but I'm fairly certain that we would have still been together and in our case, that would have been about 25 years together.

(Edited due to voice dictation error)

MumOf4totstoteens · 20/11/2025 15:34

11 years between me and my DH we have had our ups and downs but I can’t honestly say none age related

Pherian · 20/11/2025 15:49

Shootingstar1111 · 20/11/2025 11:12

I met my partner in August, at first I was reluctant to go on a date as he is 27 and me 37. I decided that a bit of fun wouldn't hurt and decided to go.. fast forward to now and I can say hand on heart I have never been happier. Nobody has ever made me feel so valued and loved.

I have 2 children and he has a daughter, we are both on the same page in not wanting anymore. We get on amazingly and this is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in.

He is a romantic at heart, he says as far as he is concerned he will never want anyone else.

I know it is early days but I am falling head over heels, I just worry that the age gap will be an issue in years to come. I look quite young for my age and he is quite rugged so you wouldn't know unless we told you.

Any success stories with age gaps?

10 years age gap isn’t drastic. Enjoy your relationship ♥️

notatinydancer · 20/11/2025 15:52

Are you sure he’s not love bombing ? He ‘never wants anyone else’ since August ?

ForFunnyLion · 20/11/2025 16:13

I’m not sure how to start this… lots of backstory but basically I have cut contact with my child’s father due to him turning up to visits drunk. I have gone through all the routes of reporting for various issues. I know he’ll tell everyone I’m off my head, going through menopause or on my period. I’m worried that someone might actually believe him and give him time with a child who deserves someone to be there and present. I’m literally tired of the fight and just want my little one to be happy. Am I doing the right thing for the child? I think so but some say different.

whitewinefriday · 20/11/2025 16:21

10 years is nothing - enjoy

SliceofTosst · 20/11/2025 16:21

ForFunnyLion · 20/11/2025 16:13

I’m not sure how to start this… lots of backstory but basically I have cut contact with my child’s father due to him turning up to visits drunk. I have gone through all the routes of reporting for various issues. I know he’ll tell everyone I’m off my head, going through menopause or on my period. I’m worried that someone might actually believe him and give him time with a child who deserves someone to be there and present. I’m literally tired of the fight and just want my little one to be happy. Am I doing the right thing for the child? I think so but some say different.

You need to start your own thread.

Devilsmommy · 20/11/2025 16:22

StruggleFlourish · 20/11/2025 15:32

Hi there, I'm so glad to hear that you guys make each other so happy and that your families are blended and you're not having any issues, and it's very wise of you to be thinking towards the future. 10 years isn't THAT much of an age gap but, it also is.

My husband was 23 and a half years older than i.
And we had, a mostly wonderful life together.
Oh sure there's always the ups and downs.
And things happen because you're both in different stages of your life...
Like for instance, when we first met, the sex was incredible! And it was for the next 7 years, until his cardiologist recommended he go on some blood pressure medication which adversely affected his ability to get erections spontaneously, lasting, multiple, etc. In other words it really hurt our sex life. Now of course, there's way more to a relationship (and way more to sex) than just how hard a guy can get... But that really sucked for us. We didn't talk an awful lot about it because I didn't want him to feel badly, but I missed the fun of earlier years and I know it made him feel bad too.
Not a big deal, but it is something to think about.

Also, no matter how healthy you are and active, energy levels will not always match up. In our case it was over 20 years but in your case it's 10 years and hey, can a 30 year old do a 20 year old can do, kind of 60 year old do it a 50 year old can do, can an 80 year old do it a 70 year old can do? Well it depends. Depends on the person and depends on what the thing is right? So you don't really know. It's good to think about these things, but you're not really going to know until it happens.

Unfortunately I lost my husband, (it was very sudden and unexpected) but I believe that if that hadn't happened, we would still be together. Yeah I'm sure that we would still have ups and downs as we all do, but I'm fairly certain that we would have still been together and in our case, that would have been about 25 years together.

(Edited due to voice dictation error)

Edited

Sorry you lost your DH 💐 there's 17 years between me and my DH. Though I'm the younger one, he's in far better shape and health than I am. I think if you're so happy together and you think it worth being together long term then age is just a number. 10 years isn't a huge gap, go for it id say

SliceofTosst · 20/11/2025 16:22

Enjoy your relationship. I have a larger age gap and we're happily married.

ForFunnyLion · 20/11/2025 16:25

SliceofTosst · 20/11/2025 16:21

You need to start your own thread.

Show quote history

Bugger, put it on the wrong thing 🙈. Don’t know how to remove

Lotsofthings · 20/11/2025 16:50

I’m 10 years older than my husband, we’ve been together 23 years. I did overthink things at the very being, it was a push/pull between head and heart. But in my case I wanted children so that made things more focused. I decided to give myself a year of no pressure and re evaluate then. I do think it helps that we are both Gen x so have the same cultural references.