Page 2 | Is my marriage over...

alwayslotsofquestions · 2025-11-18T10:15:57+00:00

Been together over 2 years married 5 have two children together - 4 and 1 years and a daughter who I had with a previous person. We are not affectionate, more so on my side I just dont have that attraction anymore I just find everything annoying. Its got to a stage where I dont want to kiss him or anything - is this normal!? I made him marry me he didnt propose, I made him move into rented with me which I dont think he entirely did want too. Previously we have been speaking about a mortgage but sounds like he doesn't want to do that either so I dont want to keep making him do things he don't want too. I just feel like I make him do all these big things which he prob didnt even want to do. He is a good dad and does help sometimes but then he can get angry if its too much but like secretly I dont no if that makes sense. I feel unhappy unsure what to do.

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 18/11/2025 11:11

I am not sure why I post on here. U just feel judged. I thought it would make me feel but I just feel ten times worse.
Anyway thanks for everyone's input.

OP posts:

elviswhorley · 18/11/2025 11:15

Your teenage daughter has to live with a man who shouts at and 'goes for' her mother in her own home.

Is that right?

Goingtodothisyeah · 18/11/2025 14:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ginasevern · 18/11/2025 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

If the OP was a man, would you be calling his wife a "limp lettuce".

ChachaIntheLongrun · 18/11/2025 19:57

alwayslotsofquestions · 18/11/2025 11:11

I am not sure why I post on here. U just feel judged. I thought it would make me feel but I just feel ten times worse.
Anyway thanks for everyone's input.

Not true on the thread. You came with very negative post about your husband and your numbers were inconsistent more than twice. People give opinions.....

what is it that YOU want to do and what the advice that you NEED?

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 18/11/2025 20:00

Be kind

OP posts:

ChachaIntheLongrun · 18/11/2025 20:01

I personally would not divorce. My husband played up a bit the marrying process and I married him also. Other things were forced and bla bla. I had to overcome many things and the marriage we have now is reasonable. I also thought and still think some things are not ideal, however my husband is not abusive, pays for everything, is a nice father...we enjoy the family holidays, being at home, he accepted my mother to come from abroad to be looked after in the living room

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:04

So the other say I was bathing 4 year old he doesn't like his hair washed he was running up and down the bath and nearly slipped so I shouted at him and tried to hold him to stop him from hurting himself and quickly get the shampoo off his hair. I prob should not not shouted but it was just quick reaction anyway husband comes in from behijg pulls my hair and pulls me to the ground I smashed my toe its all black. Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:

Nevernonono · 06/12/2025 19:10

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:04

So the other say I was bathing 4 year old he doesn't like his hair washed he was running up and down the bath and nearly slipped so I shouted at him and tried to hold him to stop him from hurting himself and quickly get the shampoo off his hair. I prob should not not shouted but it was just quick reaction anyway husband comes in from behijg pulls my hair and pulls me to the ground I smashed my toe its all black. Am I in the wrong?

The relationship is toxic, end it!

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:17

Divorce absolutely and instantly like tomorrow, seperate get him out the house contact womens aid.
If you're also struggling with parenting get help with that
Get yourself therapy and lots of it.

One day it will be better but do not stay with him.

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:18

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:17

Divorce absolutely and instantly like tomorrow, seperate get him out the house contact womens aid.
If you're also struggling with parenting get help with that
Get yourself therapy and lots of it.

One day it will be better but do not stay with him.

Edited

Thanks. We are in rented I dont even no where to start. We are married and both on the tenancy

OP posts:

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:21

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:18

Thanks. We are in rented I dont even no where to start. We are married and both on the tenancy

Edited

Show quote history

He was with you a long time before ' you made him' do these things your confidence and judgement seem to be not very good and asking if abuse is your fault. I can only imagine there is some traumas in you that prevent you from being the happiest and best person you can be. It's not being horrible but it you need to figure out why things have taken this path.

DeedlessIndeed · 06/12/2025 19:22

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:04

So the other say I was bathing 4 year old he doesn't like his hair washed he was running up and down the bath and nearly slipped so I shouted at him and tried to hold him to stop him from hurting himself and quickly get the shampoo off his hair. I prob should not not shouted but it was just quick reaction anyway husband comes in from behijg pulls my hair and pulls me to the ground I smashed my toe its all black. Am I in the wrong?

Ok, you need to leave. This is terrible for you, but most importantly this is terrible for your children to witness. Don't model that this is acceptable behaviour.

Who cares that there is no affection or initmacy. This is abuse. This relationship is not salvageable.

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:22

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:21

He was with you a long time before ' you made him' do these things your confidence and judgement seem to be not very good and asking if abuse is your fault. I can only imagine there is some traumas in you that prevent you from being the happiest and best person you can be. It's not being horrible but it you need to figure out why things have taken this path.

Show quote history

Yes definitely

OP posts:

DeedlessIndeed · 06/12/2025 19:23

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:21

He was with you a long time before ' you made him' do these things your confidence and judgement seem to be not very good and asking if abuse is your fault. I can only imagine there is some traumas in you that prevent you from being the happiest and best person you can be. It's not being horrible but it you need to figure out why things have taken this path.

Show quote history

Women's Aid. Council list for emergency housing.

Yes it is tough. But it's not a good enough excuse when your children are witnessing physical violence.

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:30

Womens aid is your first step, they can help connect you with everything else. If there family you can go to tomorrow ? When you start all this he is likely to turn into prince charming and promise you a beautiful life, don't listen to this because you will end up back in the same situation possibly worse.

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:32

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:30

Womens aid is your first step, they can help connect you with everything else. If there family you can go to tomorrow ? When you start all this he is likely to turn into prince charming and promise you a beautiful life, don't listen to this because you will end up back in the same situation possibly worse.

I dont have any family anymore. He doesn't seem bothered just said when he came on "what are you going to give me silent treatment for few days".

OP posts:

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:36

Contact them tomorrow let him think its going to be silent treatment. If you are able to I would log the incident from the other day with the police also and if anything at all happens if you can find a way to call them out. But most importantly make sure to contact women's aid to keep your head straight.

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:37

Coffeislife · 06/12/2025 19:36

Contact them tomorrow let him think its going to be silent treatment. If you are able to I would log the incident from the other day with the police also and if anything at all happens if you can find a way to call them out. But most importantly make sure to contact women's aid to keep your head straight.

Ok thank you

OP posts:

CraftyPlayer · 06/12/2025 19:38

Goonthen81 · 18/11/2025 10:34

Every step of the way. From moving in together to marrying - he didn’t want to do. You had to force it

I doubt she held a gun to his head. He didn’t HAVE to do anything.

tiv2020 · 06/12/2025 19:43

Does he show initiative in other areas?
Books holidays and trips, pursues promotions at work, plans days out with the children?
Can't really tell frim your posts if he was unenthusiastic about your relationship or just... a wet lettuce

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:46

tiv2020 · 06/12/2025 19:43

Does he show initiative in other areas?
Books holidays and trips, pursues promotions at work, plans days out with the children?
Can't really tell frim your posts if he was unenthusiastic about your relationship or just... a wet lettuce

No doesn't book anything unless I suggest it. He would look after the kids sometimes he has booked to go on a stag do with his mates abroad next year though. I said what about a family.we go abroad but said too expensive

OP posts:

Original poster

alwayslotsofquestions · 06/12/2025 19:48

Sometimes I feel like he is controlling the kids like he will take over the jobs to push me out

OP posts:

tiv2020 · 06/12/2025 19:49

I had not read the whole thread before replying
Seems he show initiative in assaulting you- which makes all the other issues pretty irrelevant in comparison imho
Don't go on condoning this, please.

tarheelbaby · 06/12/2025 19:54

Just seen the agression ...