Co-parenting Xmas Day Dreading it so much 😫

[GetBackinTheMilkYouRubberyGit]

I have been separated from my husband for 4 years. We co parent well, share 50/50 and live close by to each other.

Our own families live quite far away in different counties

My ex is completely dismissive and massively avoidant. I wouldn't classify Our relationship now as friends or even acquaintances. We don't argue, just basic interactions.

I dont have a support network round me: when I have the 3 children (10, 7 + 7) I am on my own and when I don't have them I am on my own. I have an active hobby which I enjoy and I work part time with nice people.

Anyway these last few Christmas we have always spent together. Someone will do Xmas eve and then the other will come round Xmas morning and we spend the day together and eat dinner etc. It is so depressing spending the day with him because he doesn't even do small talk with me. But we always give them a lovely day.

I have a difficult relationship with my family so that gives me major anxiety visiting them. I would love to split the day with my ex but think that would be so unfair to the kids? How horrible for them to just be alone with me. And then i would feel so awful when they go.

I just dread it so much. Looking for kindred spirits, anyone in the same boat?
Wish Xmas was like the Olympics and only every 4 years 🤣

I completely disagree
children can put on a good show for their parents sakes
but parents clearly counting down until they then have another year having nothing to do with one - is not going to be a happy Christmas for any child over the age of.., 4

Good call op