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Original poster

Thoughts on this please !

33 replies

Sunshineismyhappy · 14/11/2025 19:54

I went on a date Wednesday…. I thought it went well, lots of laughs ect… obanter going on and so on. And ended with a hug and a small kiss.

he asked me to message him when I got home, he’s been constantly messaging me, but there’s been no mention of a second date yet..

I asked him today , how did you find it ect ? I dont want to just continue to message if we’re not going to see each other again ? His reply was…. “ Yeah, I don’t see why not”

is this a positive outcome or not….. 🤣 just a fob off maybe ? 🤔

OP posts:
babasaclover · 14/11/2025 19:58

It’s a lazy way to make you ask him out. He wants to be chased. If he wanted to go out again he would have asked

KidsDoBetter · 14/11/2025 19:59

Sounds like negging to me.

Original poster
Sunshineismyhappy · 14/11/2025 20:01

@KidsDoBetter

what’s negging ?

OP posts:
KidsDoBetter · 14/11/2025 20:03

Sunshineismyhappy · 14/11/2025 20:01

@KidsDoBetter

what’s negging ?

Deliberately making a woman feel shit about herself so she wants to go out with you.

Only works on those of us with low self esteem tho.

“I don’t see why not” is offensive. Tell him - no thanks

TwistedWonder · 14/11/2025 20:05

I don’t see why not is hardly ‘yes I’d love to’ - bit of a low effort response I’d say.

thistimelastweek · 14/11/2025 20:05

I think he's trying to play it cool so that it's your ego on the line rather than his.
A bit immature. Only you can decide if he's worth one more effort.

PersephonePomegranate · 14/11/2025 20:08

KidsDoBetter · 14/11/2025 20:03

Deliberately making a woman feel shit about herself so she wants to go out with you.

Only works on those of us with low self esteem tho.

“I don’t see why not” is offensive. Tell him - no thanks

Show quote history

Yeah, I agree with this.

Even if he misguidedly thinks he's playing it cool, I couldn't be doing with this. I can't stand game play and it doesn't bode well for future communication IMO.

BakedandBroken · 14/11/2025 20:12

You deserve better than someone who isn’t bothered.

Reply to say “let’s leave it then as neither of us are very keen. All the best”

Pointedpotter · 14/11/2025 20:12

As Other pp’s said sounds like he’s trying to play it cool - how old is he? That only lands as “cool” when you’re in your early 20s and aren’t that bothered about relationships either way. If I was you I’d cut back on texting him so much and wait for him to ask you out again. If he doesn’t then I’d move on. You’ve shown you’re interested already by asking to see him again, you shouldn’t have to do more than that

Senso · 14/11/2025 20:23

Honestly OP?
hes basically saying that he’s happy to keep you as an option but he’s not really that into you. Move on and don’t look back

Brightbluesomething · 14/11/2025 20:50

If he was interested you’d know. This is pretty dismissive and shows he sees you as an option until someone better comes along. It would be a quick exit for me. But somehow plenty of women keep pursuing men who put in zero effort. Raise your standards.

Missj25 · 14/11/2025 21:04

Sunshineismyhappy · 14/11/2025 19:54

I went on a date Wednesday…. I thought it went well, lots of laughs ect… obanter going on and so on. And ended with a hug and a small kiss.

he asked me to message him when I got home, he’s been constantly messaging me, but there’s been no mention of a second date yet..

I asked him today , how did you find it ect ? I dont want to just continue to message if we’re not going to see each other again ? His reply was…. “ Yeah, I don’t see why not”

is this a positive outcome or not….. 🤣 just a fob off maybe ? 🤔

If it’s right you will know it from the beginning.
There will be no saying to yourself , “ I wonder does he like me , I wonder does he want to go out with me again “ .
Him messaging shows interest, yet he hasn’t asked for a second date which shows you he is playing games ..
Fuck that ! Head wreck ..
A game player is a massive red flag In my book ..

NuttyLoaf · 14/11/2025 21:14

It sounds like he wants to be chased. I couldn’t be bothered with that and probably wouldn’t have messaged him when he asked that first time. Let him chase if he’s interested in meeting up again, otherwise he can do one.

Zempy · 14/11/2025 21:17

If a man is interested in you, you will know.

HappyToSmile · 15/11/2025 09:47

I'd send him a thumbs up emoji and then think no more about him.
If I'm being really generous, "why not" was maybe him being funny or "cool", but as he hasn't suggested another meet before or since....I'd put not more effort in than he has.

sexlesshusbandwoes · 15/11/2025 09:52

If he’s not mad keen this early on proceed with caution. Better still don’t proceed at all

Subwaystop · 15/11/2025 09:58

I can’t imagine a more stupid way for a man to reply to the prospect of a second date. Makes him sound cavalier or more likely, just utterly stupid. “Yeah, why not” would be an instant slam the door in his face for me.

macbethany · 15/11/2025 10:45

Subwaystop · 15/11/2025 09:58

I can’t imagine a more stupid way for a man to reply to the prospect of a second date. Makes him sound cavalier or more likely, just utterly stupid. “Yeah, why not” would be an instant slam the door in his face for me.

this

Raisedinthe80s · 15/11/2025 10:48

Sunshineismyhappy · 14/11/2025 20:01

@KidsDoBetter

what’s negging ?

To be honest I’d message something like - get in touch when you are ready to set something up or similar.

BakedandBroken · 15/11/2025 10:49

Raisedinthe80s · 15/11/2025 10:48

To be honest I’d message something like - get in touch when you are ready to set something up or similar.

Show quote history

Noooooooo.
Dont leave it up to him

MinglyMadly · 15/11/2025 10:49

BakedandBroken · 14/11/2025 20:12

You deserve better than someone who isn’t bothered.

Reply to say “let’s leave it then as neither of us are very keen. All the best”

Good response.

Although if you are a keen and have already let him know that I would perhaps say "I'm looking for someone who is a bit more interested, so let's leave it then" and absolutely make sure you do leave it. His response was a bit shit.

Raisedinthe80s · 15/11/2025 11:00

BakedandBroken · 15/11/2025 10:49

Noooooooo.
Dont leave it up to him

Show quote history

Why? If he drives it why not? If he makes no effort, and whilst you wait, move on.

BakedandBroken · 15/11/2025 11:07

Raisedinthe80s · 15/11/2025 11:00

Why? If he drives it why not? If he makes no effort, and whilst you wait, move on.

Show quote history

Why would you wait at all? Tell him that it’s not working for you and wish him all the best.

Raisedinthe80s · 15/11/2025 11:39

Because she had a good date on weds. It’s now Saturday. A complete FU is a bit of an over reaction if it was a positive date. Put the ball back in his court OP and see what happens. Don’t put any more eggs in that basket until some more effort. Simple.

BakedandBroken · 15/11/2025 11:43

Raisedinthe80s · 15/11/2025 11:39

Because she had a good date on weds. It’s now Saturday. A complete FU is a bit of an over reaction if it was a positive date. Put the ball back in his court OP and see what happens. Don’t put any more eggs in that basket until some more effort. Simple.

it’s his crappy reply to the question about a second date that shows his attitude though. OP needs to have some self respect and not allow herself to be treated like that. If he is so disinterested at this stage then it doesn’t bode well for the future IMO.