Nasty/ridiculous names you've been called /have called someone in the heat of an argument........

[kittywise]

Dp and I had a(nother) row today, I can barely bring myself to type what he called me, at least not yet!!
Tell me I'm not the only one who gets involved in this mad slinging crap

My dh isn't a name caller (he's more your classic storm off for 1/2 hour, then sulk for a few hours type) but, my ex (who was the type to end a relationship, with 'it's not you, it's me and then keep phoning you up and trying to mess with your head) coined the lovely term 'Psycho mad bitch from hell' to charmingly describe me.
He was a right charmer that one.

What I hate is the way he makes out I had it coming, it was my fault etc. He'll never apologise. he does it when the kids can hear, which is worse

what men really don't seem to realise is that they are essentially thick as two short planks and the secret psychological warfare they feel they are embarking on is actually plain as day to normal folk of sound mind.

Just reading all of this now and Mamamamamama, did his name begin with P?

Sorry you're going through this KW.

lovemygirls, my dp calls me a shit mum too and like your dp he knows i'm not yet he knows which buttons to press and that it hurts.

He can say some awful things in an argument but then so can I. I've called him a stupid f*ing twat, knobshite, prick etc

We both draw the line at cunt though. vile word,

he's verbally abusive, kittywise.

hate to break this to you, but the making it out to be your fault and doing it in front of people as well is all the hallmarks of an abuser.

No it didn't ranting. Why, has someone called you that too??

Yep, must be a man thing, though I've never been called it by any other man. Maybe it's only a certain type of man.

No, it's not a man thing at all.

It's an abuser thing.

i think my dp has called me every name there is to be called. i have told him todfay that he needs to see a doc re controlling his temper, he is never violent but often verbally abusive and shouts a lot at dd1 and me.

some of the names are;
unfit mother.
dont love my kids enough.
slapper from ...........(insert name of roughest street in town).
prostitue.
useless twat.
fat cow.
lazy bitch.
etc etc.

im fairly sure that c*unt has been used a few times

Think you're spot on there Expat.
at micci25, my dh has never called me any of those names, actually don't thing he's ever called me more than a daft old bat and he's never called me a name in temper.
How come I've only just realised that.

My dp and I have just agreed he needs to go a group run by relate for men who are abusive because not unusually he called me a fat cunt, slag, shit mother and that I should skip a meal because I'm too fucking fat....
I am five months pregnant and already have three children.
I frequently get called useless, fucking pathetic, ridiculous, lazy, stupid, twat, everything you could think of really. As well as the 'Are you going to cry again? FFS'
It has reached the point that I accept this is domestic abuse, not violent but truly undermining and unacceptable. Reading the relate link about it all makes it very real.
Kitty, you should explain to your dh that his children will remember and never forive him, they are likely to go on to have abusive relationships themselves and a lifetime of issues. I have ended up in this relationship because my parents argued and my father was very violent, although my mother denies it... they are quite posh and those things don't happen to posh people!!
Get him to sort it out, go to counselling.

DH and I have called each other some dreadful things in the heat of battle. Both of the sweary kind and the downright mean kind.

But our relationship is usually very good, so we tend to forgive and forget afterwards.

at dp's calling thier other halves 'fat cow' etc.

thats the one thing that he doesn't call me or make a comment about my vitiligo

He would never do that, he thinks it's all my fault.
I have said that to him re the children and he understands. Of course he think that they will feel sorry for HIM in years to come when they realise what a vile witch I was/am

Kitty, would an ultimatum work? Or get some advice or literature about verbal abuse to make him see what he is doing. It's quite scary when they see it all written down without emotion, facts and nothing else. It's powerful stuff.

He's quite deluded about who they will side with.... they will think he's really vile and may pity him but because he's a pathetic bully not because you are a vile witch. I know I am that child.

or they'll think it's okay to treat tehir partner like that or okay behaviour to take from a partner.

Expat, I am in a relationship that contains verbal abuse because I watched my father abuse my mother, I even try to provoke it into violence. (I can only admit that in my darkest moments and neve5r to my dp who has never been violent)

Micci25, my xp has called me all of those names, and a few more as well. Earlier on in the relationship , when I still had hope, I explained to him about the nails in the fence analogy, where you can remove the nails but the holes in the fence are still left, and eventually the fence is so full of holes it falls apart.

Well I think he sneered and said "did you read that in a magazine?" and he said magazine as though it were Mein Kampf.

Kitty, when I was with my xp, I ordered a book from amazon about anger management for men. xp wouldn't even glance at it, but it still really helped me. I read a few chapters, and I saw it there in black and white; that it is each individual's own responsibility to control their temper. How they choose to REact to any situation is their decision and responsibility and nobody else's.

I know we all know this but it still helped me a lot to read it. SOunds mad, but I think I cried when I read that. Made me feel sane and gave my self-esteem a leg up ONE rung of the ladder.

Kitty, when I was with my xp, I ordered a book from amazon about anger management for men. xp wouldn't even glance at it, but it still really helped me. I read a few chapters, and I saw it there in black and white; that it is each individual's own responsibility to control their temper. How they choose to REact to any situation is their decision and responsibility and nobody else's.

I know we all know this but it still helped me a lot to read it. SOunds mad, but I think I cried when I read that. Made me feel sane and gave my self-esteem a leg up ONE rung of the ladder.

Sorry, double posting. And I think this is my fourth in a row now.

Me too

kittywise - as the child of a man who regularly calls my mother and also me some truly vile names, I don't think you need to worry about how your children will see you. I really doubt very much that your DC will have any sympathy at all for your DP when they are old enough to realise what he is doing.

I also suspect that by the time they become teenagers he will be calling them names too if they dare to begin to assert their independence as all teenagers naturally do.

My father has got worse with age. He never ever accepts any responsibility for his actions and always blames us - we drive him to it apparently.

You need to get your DP to face up to what he is doing now. I just wish I knew how you could do that.