Exs new life

[Ashleyp92]

Has anyone ex ever left their family life for such a selfish life. He still sees the DC couple of times a week but he’s went from living in a lovely family home and I am not a brag but after his dating and wild nights out moved in with someone who has no children and she doesn’t work, he’s living out of black bags as she has no wardrobes or drawers. She has 5 cats which he would never get DD a kitten and DD says he is constantly picking cat poo out bath as that’s where litter trays are. He has told me a few times he just clicked with her and things moved fast and moved with her after 6 weeks with her And I just think to myself why am I still crying over this man who ripped my family apart for this lifestyle and since moving in is so bitter and cold to me but think it’s because he has stopped going out now and it’s me out everytime I’m child free now. Only thing he has is more freedom but to me it’s just selfish and could kick myself for crying because of him and blamed myself so much as this is what he calls leaving for a happier life

Well i doubt that your ex will be happy in his new lifestyle for long OP.
If indeed he is now.

He must really have wanted to be with her

@Gottocopebymyself yeah probably just in shock as he was never this selfish in 10 years but after the heart break I’ve come to realise I’ve been given the better life.

@Tatwrap yeah I still think after 6 weeks to declare love and book a family holiday and introduce children straight away is a bit much. Or more like she had a flat and he was sick of living with his mum as couldn’t afford own place

had he been with her and then left you
or met her after split?

Are you getting maintenance?

@Tatwrap no he was with me for 10 years got with her after he probs realised he couldn’t afford a place on his own and stopped going out every weekend. He pays some weeks but it’s a challenge trying to get it and causes an argument

So he moved out and then met her
so presumably the relationship had been circling the drain anyway
CMS!!

@Tatwrap he moved out and went out with a few different women before her then he met her in a bar and moved in after 6 weeks. I tried CMS but couldn’t locate him as he won’t put down he is living with her

Why do you know so much about their lives together? Stop worrying about his life and get on with your own.
Contact CMS about maintenance and only discuss DC arrangements. He sounds like a cock-lodging hobosexual.

@Ashersmom yeah I know I wish I didn’t but having younger children they come back and tell me everything. Yeah I do only contact about child care but give him set days and every week there is a problem on why he has to drop them off earlier

No one moves on quicker than a man that needs somewhere to live.

@CosySeason that’s true I have come to realise that. I get he wanted a different life but also get that being 40 odd and moving back in with mum wasn’t good for 6 months either so he had the self motivation

He has a name. Cocklodger. amongst others. He will be asking u back soon enough. Please please have enough self respect to say no. Don’t do it for him, defo don’t do it for the kids and u gotta give urself time, the laugh is on him believe me. Worst u will ever do is go back, or sleep with him when he comes crawling.

Not your problem anymore

@crazeekat ah I will certainly not ever take him back after the hurt he caused me at the start and to be honest he actually hates me now for no reason so he would never try to and he’s told me quite a few times he’s much happier now

He hates you because his life is a bit shit and yours is nice, and it’s his own fault.

Extra bonus points for saying “be nice to daddy, he is trying his best” in a patronising tone of voice every time the kids moan about his house in front of him 😂😂😂

Your only concern about him now is getting him to pay up. I’d have no mercy on him. So what if he doesn’t want to declare where he’s living (if she doesn’t work it’ll possibly affect her benefits and council tax?)

Why are you being so nice to him. I’d ruthlessly go after all the money I could get out of him.

That sounds absolutely shit. The shine is going to wear off this really fast. He will have to play along like it’s the bees knees to save face because he will not want to admit how crap his life is now. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt in the meantime, but you have absolutely come out on top here.

I’d be very surprised if he didn’t know her pre break up

I think you need to stop looking back with rose tinted specs

There is no way this would have been a healthy happy relationship pre him moving out.

I am going to guess he isn’t a high earner. How are you doing financially? How old are the children? Have you discussed split of assets (if there are any?)

@Namechange822 haha yeah I will try that and your probably right while I was heart broken he had that life of doing what he wants when he wants then now when he doesn’t have DC he has to work them nights where as I have the time to do what I want as he’s told me a few times I get time to myself and he has to work being self employed.

@ReachedMyCityLimits i know I need it’s just when I ask for it he gets all nasty and we end up arguing as I say should be able to afford it having no bills to pay as he told me she gets her rent paid for and he said I’m heartless and has nothing to do with me why she on benefits and that I’m a selfish person and to eff off with my perfect life (which I don’t have lol)

@mindutopia your right I will come out on top makes it better that because my self esteem was so low after he left I went to gym and lost 4 stone and got a promotion at work. But he still finds the need to tell me he’s happier and it does still sting

How long ago did he leave op?

@Tatwrap no he isn’t a high earner at all. I am doing much better financially I got a promotion at work and I actually have a life now as I socialise where as previously I went to work and he went out when I came in which I told him the job wasn’t working as had decided to go self employed 1.5 years ago so had problems ever since then as I was very alone in the relationship but he’s blamed me for it all so it hurts.

@Tatwrap about 6 months ago

So he was a low earning, crappy, dissatisfied partner, and now proves himself to be a half hearted parent and unreliable with paltry CMS.

op, you dodged a bullet

you lost 4 stone in 6 months?! Wow!