OLD - would you have replied to this message? (Light hearted)

[nocontactquery]

A bit light-hearted and a bit genuinely interested!

I am a 38 year old professional woman dating and looking for a serious relationship/life partner (all clear from my profile). I do generally have decent luck with meeting decent men, but only because I have strong filtering I think.

This is an example of someone who did not get through my filtering and gets an instant delete.

Got a "like" on my profile and the comment (from a 36 year old teacher) was: "A really cute and pretty photo of you here. When's the next holiday? You seem really sweet, or maybe a little trouble. which one are you though. Haha"

Edited to add - my photos are all completely normal, fully dressed, smiling photos - a few in different locations when travelling etc. Nothing remotely revealing/short/booby - not that is should particularly matter, but you know what I mean - I'm not pouting into a mirror or anything!

Instant "ick" for me on many levels and I'm just fascinated by any woman who would reply to that? Why? Some women would, surely, or he would not have sent a message like that? It all just sounds like something a 20 year old might send to start up flirty/sexualised banter perhaps... The mind boggles..

No, it’s not that either , it’s fun with someone when ye are both on the same page ..

But they're not. Someone who has good communication and social skills would ensure that they are both on the same page before writing that.

Really? I think it sounds like absolutely stock generic bantz - nothing to show the man has any genuine interest in her as an individual. He could have sent that same response to fifty women. It's utterly meaningless.

I'd reply to something like: I liked your photo and saw that you love art. I do too. There's a new exhibition at X - fancy a coffee and a look around it sometime?

That or its equivalent suggest they have registered who you actually are and are trying to spark a genuine connection without coming over too strong.

I thought you meant sexting is grim as a whole , I was just saying it’s good fun with someone when both on the same page ..

I don’t like an assumption that I might be ‘trouble’ I might reply depending on everything else on his profile, but more out of curiosity to see if he could redeem himself with his general chit chat

No, I meant that is the kind of person he appears to be from that grim message.

Ick for me too. When I was OLD, it’s the kind of message I’d reply to if things were a bit slow on the basis of “giving him a chance” and regret it later when inevitably he wasn’t my type or wasn’t looking for anything serious.

Jesus pp , I’m afraid there’s a load of those guys on old , just want fun 🤷🏻‍♀️

@nocontactquery If you're not sending conversation openers, then you forfeit any right to complain about how other people open conversations.

Ugh.

@Missj25 "“ you seem really sweet or maybe a little trouble “ , followed by ha ha , testing the water to see would she engage in sexting , covering himself then with ha , ha if she shot him down straight away , oh sure he was only messing around.."

Yeah, this is a well known rhetorical pattern on dating profiles and in dating behaviour that signals a man who doesn't care about women's boundaries. It's called test-and-apologize. The test is real, the apology isn't.

https://substack.com/home/post/p-150235506

Completely agree! Need to read that article you have linked later!

To me that sounds like somebody who’s trying hard to say something other than “how are you?” Etc but has not quite struck the right note.
if I liked the look of his profile in other ways I think I might exchange a few messages to see if his chat improved.

Yeah, it certainly has its characters from what I've heard in RL and on here. A lot of sifting out of the sleaze bags and inadequates seems to be required.

Thankyou I must read later too x

That is 100% something he has copied and pasted to every woman on the site. Avoid

I think just the hyper focus on your looks would be enough to put he off. Plus the ‘trouble’ comment seems a foot towards the chat getting sexual from the offset and that would also put me off.

The real issue with the message is it is clearly a generic, cut & paste, one size fits all message. By this I mean he is sending it to multiple women as an introduction. There's no thought, no real and authentic interest. The sender is just casting his net with zero effort.

Lots of speculation going on here ladies 😂 😂

Not really, have received this exact message and various iteration numerous times when I used to OLD, and that was over a decade ago...

@Missj25 In fact, a friend and I received the same message from the same guy 😂

I hope you replied in the same way too and kept both convos identical!

I’ve never gotten messages like that , I must be talking to only all the geuine guys so 🤣 🤣..
Still Single , different breed of players here In Ireland 😂

@Missj25
Some men have no qualms sending out the exact same message to dozens of women. For them, it's a numbers game and they hope that at least one will respond.

You might think you have avoided them but chances are, you probably have not. Either way, in theory, there's nothing wrong with it but at the same time, often indicative that the sender hasn't read a word of the profile they're contacting, they've only looked at the pictures. I don't know about you, but someone reading my profile before messaging me was a basic requirement...

Oh I’ve come across plenty of players on my dating journey , trust me. !
How can you avoid them !!!
I normally am a good judge of Character, got caught once alright , he played being ” geuine “ down to a tee ( asshole ) ..
Agreed, zero interest in the guys who bypass profile message ..