OLD - would you have replied to this message? (Light hearted)

[nocontactquery]

A bit light-hearted and a bit genuinely interested!

I am a 38 year old professional woman dating and looking for a serious relationship/life partner (all clear from my profile). I do generally have decent luck with meeting decent men, but only because I have strong filtering I think.

This is an example of someone who did not get through my filtering and gets an instant delete.

Got a "like" on my profile and the comment (from a 36 year old teacher) was: "A really cute and pretty photo of you here. When's the next holiday? You seem really sweet, or maybe a little trouble. which one are you though. Haha"

Edited to add - my photos are all completely normal, fully dressed, smiling photos - a few in different locations when travelling etc. Nothing remotely revealing/short/booby - not that is should particularly matter, but you know what I mean - I'm not pouting into a mirror or anything!

Instant "ick" for me on many levels and I'm just fascinated by any woman who would reply to that? Why? Some women would, surely, or he would not have sent a message like that? It all just sounds like something a 20 year old might send to start up flirty/sexualised banter perhaps... The mind boggles..

Married!

Grace, is that you?

joke!

Oh dear.

I bet he copies and pastes that to all his matches 🤢

Kind of flirty but then, so what?Sweet or cute isnt to everyone's taste but I think overanalyisng it to deconstruct the deep personality flaws of the sender is also a bit presumptuous.

If the pictures were very serious looking it would be weird. But if you had what could get a cheeky grin or twinkle in your eye, he was just being cheesy. Or maybe he likes/hates people who see themselves as 'complicated' and wanted to test the waters if you were like that?

I would unmatch immediately after that. And yeah, there is objectively worse out there but that’s not good reason to reply to it 😂

I'm interested.

That would be a hard no for me. Absolutely angling for sex chat and patronising as hell.
it’s not hard to send a respectful, grown up message and I think the bar is far too low.

I’d reply OP ..
He was keeping it light hearted, but letting you know he thinks you are attractive & likes your profile message obviously or wouldn’t say hi 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Not always going to get it right with an opening message on line either , on line is a pain in the ass !!!
You will be able to gauge him a little better with some more messages, plus to be fair you need to meet someone in real life ..
Anyway , Happy Friday 🙂
Good luck with it all x

The lack of a question mark would put me off. What's his profile like?

That's a poor attempt at flirting and I would ignore.

I don't need to be told I look good by a man on a dating app. If they are swiping on me I would presume they find me attractive (and vice versa). I'd expect them to actually ask something specific about me.

Might be tempted to go back to them on the whole "are you sweet or naughty" false binary by asking him where he got his Madonna/whore complex from. Even aside from it being inappropriate for a first message, it's a stupid question with a stupid premise.

Friends of mine have replied to the 'hey babe' messages in the past. Never ended well.

Goodness I have been thinking ive been very picky on the dating apps with the hey beautiful, you look good etc messages when I just delete them. Reading your messages im thinking im glad im picky. Ive been so disheartened with what's out there. I only joined OLD 3 weeks ago and I have found it awful. I just want to meet a decent man in day to day life not online.

I dunno, it's not great but i think old is so difficult and everyone is trying to think of something original and witty to say to stand our. Sometimes it works, sometimes it totally misses the mark, as this obviously did. I wouldn't necessarily dismiss it out of hand though. Maybe l'd even pull them up on it and challenge them?!

As a guy it's not not what I would say - but it is a bit more interesting than Hi, how are you, how was your day!

I would say its just someone trying to stand out a bit, no harm in seeing what happens

Ha! I think if you get someone who can spell and write in complete sentences then you're onto a winner! Unless someone was offensive or completely silent I would see if they warm up a bit.

I might be in the minority here but I see no issue with that message. Yes a little cringe/cheeky but the whole OLD is totally cringe. You can not expect someone to give 100% effort when they don't know you. It might be a copy and paste message, who knows however i know I have seen far worse and if these are your standards then it might stand to reason why you're single.

I think he probably uses that one a lot, it's a bit more interesting than most and some women would like the idea of being "trouble" in a lighthearted way. It suggests fun.

Probably most of the women he's liking are younger than you.

Hi how are you is boring but least there’s no red flags. Many women would see red flags in this guys message.

I’m pretty sure most women with half a brain cell delete straight away when greeted with , “Hey babe , Hey beautiful , Hey Sexy “ or whatever other similar lines 🤮..
I don’t think that is how OPS potential match comes across ..
He’s just trying to be upbeat , cheery , another few messages will tell anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Calling a grown adult woman ‘trouble’ 🤮

Yeah I do know what you mean “ TwistedWonder” , his message is short, but it really comes across as him trying to be funny ..
As an on line dater , I’ve met with nice men in the past whose opening message’s were 😂🙈, & admitted to me when we laughed over coffee about them , how awkward trying to spark up a conversation with someone You don’t know is .
I think especially at our age , I’m 50 next week & only ever date men my age ..
I go on profile message , how they look, & aswel after a few messages in you know a little better.
I myself met with such a lovely man ( we are at different stages In life , his kids grown up , my youngest daughter only 15 , I can’t commit the way he wants me to ) .
We went on quite a few dates , when I started chatting to him , I kept saying all the wrong things 🙈..
I said it to him , “ I say all the wrong things ‘ !
He was a Gentleman & we got on very well 🤷🏻‍♀️.
I just mean i suppose once it’s not obvious 🤮 lines , I wouldn’t always write off the ones who try to be funny with their opening messages ..

The thing is he’s not being a bit clueless or trying to be funny. He’s trying to get her to talk about sex within about 3 messages.

I reread post there , yeah you’re right Gymbunny with “ you seem really sweet or maybe a little trouble “ , followed by ha ha , testing the water to see would she engage in sexting , covering himself then with ha , ha if she shot him down straight away , oh sure he was only messing around..

OP has said she has clearly stated in her profile message what she is looking for, & that’s a relationship , why don’t these guys just go on hook up sites when it’s just sex they’re after , besides messaging women that they know are looking for more . 🙄

That's grim - immature, lacking in social and communication skills, looking for sexting 🤮