Would you reconsider your marriage over this?

[wwwdotconfuseddotcom]

DH has said that the dominant people in mental health institutions are the result of Pakistani cousin marriage. Obviously this is untrue and some kind of racist talking point he's picked up. He also keeps banging on about immigration and the cost of hotels. I don’t share several of his political beliefs, but didn't think he was actually racist, until now.

I don’t have the headspace to deal with this, as I’m in the first six months of a new job and need to focus all of my efforts on that (as well as the kids, parents, house etc.)

When he said it, I was busy with other things, so other than me saying, "That's clearly not true" we haven't discussed it. He can tell I’m out of sorts, but I’ve said there’s nothing wrong, as nothing good can come of us talking about this, and I don’t want it to derail my working week.

What would you do? How do I bury this for now and stop this thought running around my head, which is essentially “F*&%, I’m married to a racist”?

We’ve had an endless sh*tshow the last few years - illness, death, financial woes - and I thought things were on the up. Why does he have to come out with this bombshell now, FFS?

Let me be more specific, she is anti men identifying as women in women’s spaces, e.g. toilets/changing rooms/prisons/sport.
We do discuss it at length, I know her exact position on this. We aren’t totally at odds, she is vehement and I am meh.
She most definitely isn’t racist and I never said or implied that. She hates Farage for fucking the country over Brexit and all his subsequent dog whistle politics and we are definitely aligned on that.

Let’s also be clear that not being racist is a very recent phenomenon (love thy neighbour wasn’t that long ago), most definitely not global (only really exists in Western Europe and some parts of the Americas - the rest of the world is completely racist). Also as I said in my other post anti-racism is unravelling in the US and Europe, so it may be that it becomes part of history. Personally I hope not, but it does seem to be going that way.

So not actually anti-trans at all, just pro women's rights. Tbh I find your opinion that you feel meh towards women's rights more problematic than what the OP posted. It seems very self-centred and I wouldn't be boasting about it. The "racist" part was in reference to the OP's post hence the brackets.

Sorry after I responded I realised that you meant the OP.
I disagree, my terminology of anti-trans in women’s spaces is very different to “women’s rights” which is much further reaching and to me means abortion rights, equality, freedom, etc.
she is basically aligned with JK Rowling.
She says she will die on the hill for this issue, whereas I’m a bit more, get it, agree, but it is probably so rare (compared to coverage) that it isn’t big on my agenda and doesn’t require a lot of my head space.

I understand that- I’m a centre left voter, sometimes Lib Dem, sometimes Labour depending where we have lived and the likely winner. I am not however particularly woke and do think immigration has to have quite strong controls- I am also pro EU and actually believe that being out the EU made it more difficult not less to actually control immigration because the gvt needed to attract particular groups of workers in essential services and EU workers thought- bugger this, I’m not liking the vibe here anymore- so the Tory gvt let in silly numbers of 3rd world families instead to work in those areas -again the boat thing - all massively increased post Brexit, less official channels to return etc

politics is a very nuanced thing - and I think this is what many don’t understand and the media pushes their particular agenda- and makes you think your views have to be very rigid and 100% aligned to a party. you can be a Tory and be very pro EU , you can be a Labour supporter but still agree with tight immigration and you can be a Lib Dem and not agree with particular policies/angles, sadly I’m struggling to say you can be a Reform voter and agree with the NHS, because it’s clear to me he wouldn’t be looking at a Dutch/German type system - I think people need to understand if they vote that way it would be a very US dog eat dog culture - now that will suit some , but certainly not others who are only thinking of it from the ‘I hate anyone not British angle, or even I hate Muslims angle’ - I do think a huge lack of tolerance has crept in - but then again maybe im
just as guilty as I don’t have much tolerance for people who have no political nouse at all spouting either far left or far right stuff as if it’s fact rather than opinion

He has said this quite bluntly and clumsily - but what he says is based on some truth as others have posted. Certain groups do marry cousins etc. and there is a much bigger % of defects etc as a result. So while word for word he is wrong, the spirit of what he says is correct.

Jade goody was accused of racism, until she confronted the issue openly. Most racists stay racist, but everything is entitled to change and anything is possible.

In Pakistan its estimated that on average 50-60% of all marriages are cousin marriages, which of course is shocking. This pattern has contined in the UK although I'm not sure if it's quite that high. I doubt that a large number of children born from these unions end up in mental institutions though. So on that point he seems misinformed. Bit much to end a marriage over it though.

Personally, I just think he’s a bit thick. And I’d be classed as ‘far right’ by so many, because I too, disagree with how we put up illegal economic migrants in hotels, and would be rather pleased if someone could protect our borders.