Should I be worried or is this 100% my problem?

[StringTheorist]

So myself (31M) and my GF (43F) have been together since May 2024. We first met as online language exchange partners then it progressed into what it is now. She lives in NY (but is from Taiwan and has been here 2.5 years) and I am from and live in Texas.
We've had our natural ups and downs, but overall she puts in a lot of effort. She:
-Talks about a future together (will sometimes say "when we have a house together one day we need to have xyz")
-She's interested in keeping healthy relationships with my family members despite the language difference (and has already got a Christmas gift for my mother and father)
-When she comes to stay with me in Texas, its 2-6 weeks at a time and no matter how tired she is in the mornings, she cooks for me and makes sure that I have breakfast, a lunch to take to work, and dinner prepared when I get home every single day.
-She's loving, affectionate, etc and she puts in effort to call and text me daily (for instance, on Tuesday night this week, she called me once I got home from work - I didn't answer because I was busy at the moment; she called me again just 10 minutes later.
Sometimes I get insecure and I would browse her Instagram followers. She has roughly 500 followers and follows 687 people. I remember doing this in April 2024 (right before we met in person), October 2024, and then the last time I did was some time during the summer this year (June/July/August). I noticed a new male follower I had not seen before.

Between him and my GF:

• My GF has never mentioned him before

-He's Ukrainian and there's no evidence that he's ever studied Mandarin -They have nothing in common (he's an engineer and my GF is an eyebrow artist) -His IG account is private, as is my GF's. -All of my GF's NYC friends are Asian and speak - Cantonese, Mandarin and or English. Most of her friends are back in Taiwan, China, etc. -Both live in NYC

With that being said, my girlfriend last posted public posts on IG back in May 2025. Up until Tuesday night and today, where she made two new IG posts.
One of the posts was of a tree with a caption about Fall weather. The unknown Ukrainian "Liked" it. That was Tuesday night. And he liked it within 6 hours of it being posted (at least).
Her post today actually had a picture of her in her Halloween costume with a female friend of hers. The Ukrainian follower liked the post within 4 hours of posting or sooner.

That's two likes this week, on one that was a neutral post (the tree) and then one that featured her in a Halloween costume with some of her female friends.

This is so hard to decide on because she does so much, puts in the effort of texting and calling every day, spends weeks at a time in Texas, leaves personal belongings at my home here in Texas, talks about a future together, etc
Should I bring this up to her? She already knows I'm a little insecure and I don't want to drive her way with distrust, jealousy and other things. But a second "Like" goes from benign, anomaly, no meaning to (more likely) intent, interest, or something going on.
I also noticed that when I was last in NY at the end of September, she had her IG notifications on and opened in when I sent her something via DM (in view where I could see), but would only browse Facebook and other apps when around me - everything but IG (when in times past, she would jump from people's stories and reels on IG, then Facebook, then Whatsapp and so on).
If I weren't on Instagram (which should not exist), I would have no worries, relationship stress and so on.

What the heck do I do? Sorry its such a long post.

You are way overthinking this and will definitely push her away if you keep on like this. Stop factoring instagram likes into your relationship. Who cares if some guy liked her post? I'm sure many other people did too? Get off social media and appreciate your gfs real life actions.

This is 100% a you problem.

The instagram follower is completely inconsequential. A second “like” doesn’t mean anything.

and unfortunately instagram does exist. But you don’t need to be on it, if it bothers you that much.

I think it would be a good idea to be as honest with her as you have been here with us, and tell her in detail what you have observed and what you are worried it might mean.

Stop it before you push her away. Women do not like this kind of behaviour

Sorry but the level of detail and obsessing over trivia in your OP sounds insane and very weird. Have you not had many relationships before? Why are you obsessing like this? It sounded creepy just reading it.

Stop stalking your GF’s social media; stop obsessing over every detail of her life; and stop looking for problems. The only problem here is you.

I find it hard to believe you’re in your 30s. You sound like an obsessed teen not a grown man.

I was about to post the exact.same.thing

🦩(closest I could get)

Wow. You sound so wound up. Can you take a gummy or something? It’s a random follower on socials! You reaaaally need to chill

If you are worried why not just ask her. Relationships are based on communication

She lives in NY is an eyebrow artist but doesn’t work. How is she funding her life?

You've fixated on one random bloke from the Ukraine, out of her 500 followers to obsess over. How do you know that she hasn't been friends on IG with this man for some time?!! Do you know every user name of all 500 of her followers on IG?! So what if he has no personal connection to her or doesn't speak Mandarin or Cantonese, what difference does it make?!! He's liked a few of her recent posts, it's a 'like', not a declaration of love!! This is 100% a you problem. Your girlfriend is allowed to choose to add follow requests or not, that's her choice and not yours. Your fixation in all honesty sounds juvenile, and immature, I expected you to be school age. Seek some professional support to help with your insecurities and anxiety. If you don't you will eventually end up driving your girlfriend away. I should know, I was once in your girlfriend's position, with an insecure, anxious and jealous boyfriend, who's behaviour eventually I couldn't tolerate and split up from.

Your behaviour is seriously unhinged.

You need professional help.

This is not a healthy way to conduct a relationship. You’re paranoid and controlling.

You sound quite mad.

100% a you problem

Sounds like you took a few too many red pills and stumbled onto a uk mums website by mistake. Drink lots of water and take a nap.
seriously though, end your relationship, if it’s making you feel this insecure it’s probably not the right relationship for you

There is life beyond social media. Go for a walk, visit friends, take up baseball or whatever but it sounds like you are stalking her on SM which is not normal and if I was her friend I would warn her off!

Tbh I would advise her woman to avoid a relationship with someone who obsessively monitors their social media use and how many hours elapse between a post and a random follower liking it.

You sound really controlling and creepy.

So much to unpick here.
You should not be snooping on her SM for starters.
Also if you are at work all day during her visits what is she able to do? You say you are from Texas. Is she trapped in your house all day with no car and no way of walking anywhere? She must be very bored if so ( probably why she’s doing all your housekeeping)
Also where do you both see your future? Do you want a partner, or are you looking for a housekeeper?
And do you have a language barrier between you, if so what are you doing about this?

I’m sorry but you sound terrifying, OP. I would say this is bordering on stalking/controlling behaviour. I think you need some therapy.

This is absolutely bonkers.