No sex life anymore due to DH’s STI

[Energy1992]

DH had a genital wart come up a year ago and got it removed. It’s come back 6 months ago and he hasn’t bothered getting it treated. We’ve had sex twice with a condom in 6 months and it felt rubbish. Almost every week I have to remind him to call the clinic and he doesn’t , makes excuses like he’s busy. I feel pathetic having to nag him to sort it. He hasn’t even bothered to buy a pack of condoms, he just isn’t bothered we’re not having sex. We argue constantly about it whenever I bring up. I can’t live like this anymore. Any advice??

My genital warts lay dormant for 15 years.

This is not proof that he has cheated.

Not all strains cause cervical cancer.

A smear can come back no HPV detected having previously had warts.

If there is a OW she won't be hanging around.

People are allowed to fall out of love with each other, that doesn’t make him an arsehole.

Oh op im so sorry. Split up on good terms for the kids sakes and move on x

Thank you for the lovely messages. I’m feeling very mixed. I am definitely in shock but I think I will be OK. I agree he’s allowed to fall out of love , it is what it is I guess. Better now while the kids are tiny. He’s moved out somewhere temporarily and to be honest, I feel peaceful now not having that stress off wondering when he comes to bed if he’ll sleep with me. My focus now is just myself and the little ones.

I'm so sorry, but glad you've got a feeling of peace, that's very telling. There are fabulous women on here who can help with getting your ducks in a row, but for now just keep going as you are. Do you have real life support?

Herpes can lie dormant after the first outbreak. After exposure for the first time symptoms usually show within 2 weeks, warts after exposure can take weeks or months to show

Why would you marry someone who has no interest in having sex with you to the point they can’t even be bothered to sort out their STI? And if you had to encourage someone to get tested every month then you obviously don’t trust them… so why marry them?

Well him and his Willy wart can bugger off then.

My heart goes out to you.
The shock must be awful for you.
Men. married for only a year don't usually, suddenly just fall out of love, up sticks and leave wife and young children unless there is another woman.
I wish you all the best.
This horrible state of shock is very painful but it won’t last forever.
Unfortunately, you will go thru all the pain again when you realise that he has OW so it will prolong the hurt.
❤️

Don’t they burn them off, or freeze. I remember a girl having that done. It just sounds like he can’t be bothered so see a lawyer and show him how much he doesn’t bother you either. Men are dogs. He’s an asswipe

I strongly suspect he's not interested because he is still getting sex from the same source he got the STI from.

Sorry OP.

If she gave them to him she will

It does if he cheats and brings home sexually transmitted diseases. Where did you grow up. That’s called cheating in the worst way with a contaminated yucky human. Eww

It sounds like you’ve been the only one carrying the emotional weight here — reminding him, worrying about your sex life, and dealing with rejection when you bring it up. That can easily turn into resentment. You might want to sit down at a calm time (not mid-argument) and explain how this affects you emotionally: not just sexually, but in how it makes you feel about the partnership. Try using “I” statements — e.g., “I feel really disconnected and hurt when I have to remind you to take care of something that affects both of us.”
If he still won’t take action or talk openly, that’s not about the wart anymore — that’s about communication and respect. You deserve a partner who values your well-being and intimacy enough to deal with uncomfortable stuff, not ignore it.

Yes if he did cheat then yes. But not for falling out of love.