Too keen?

[PithyMauveZebra]

If you were trying to arrange something with a man would this come off as too keen on the woman’s behalf:

1. Me- hey - might be quite forward but if you fancy a catchup some time let me know! Thought it might be nice to
2. him - not forwards! Diary is stretched with work till mid nov though not sure if that works for you
3. me - sure. Doesn’t have to be (my area) though. Could aim to meet somewhere mid way but if that’s a too much faff mid Novembers fine.
4. him - ok , any dates to avoid?
5. me- fairly flexible weekend wise because I do things on weekdays with friends, if you had a day in mind though I could give you a definitive yes or no

I’m trying to see if I’m coming off as desperate here?

Not desperate but very keen!

Fab😂not what I wanted at all.

Not pushy but I’d say he’s not that interested so personally I’d leave it

There was more to the convo however I also think this purely because he should have organised this. Not me.

If he was keen he’d have at least a coffee gap in the next 3 weeks. Unless you live too far from each other.
If a guy said this to me I’d leave it.

I disagree, he's only written off the next two weeks as he's busy (better than being unemployed no) and is asking for dates.

OP I think it's nice to be a bit keen. You're not being OTT. Why is it better to pretend not to care at all, who wants to meet up with someone who doesn't seem to give a fuck!

I agree with Frodo OP!

whats the context here? Dating?

Sounds like a fairly normal interaction to me! I guess we would need to know more context to read more into it ....

Out of interest, why? Did you plan all previous meet ups or something?

We’re 1.5 hours away and he works in corporate

I’m trying to be nice because often times I don’t give anyone the benefit so it’s one extreme to the other with me

Unsure exactly what that means but a couple of my mates are corporate lawyers and getting a date in the diary for a drink after work genuinely can take up to a month. We work about ten minutes apart.

Haven’t met yet! Just trying to organise something but tbh by now I’m like surely it shouldn’t take this long. We are quite far from each other though

Well you came across as nice in your messages so I would say it's going well and you should try to find a date to meet up. The only thing I wasn't sure about is why you asked about meeting up before mid Nov when he already said he was busy but I thought there might be more of a back story. If you're willing to wait then go for it

Exactly😂I’m not a solicitor but I’m super busy with work too and I don’t always get to see my friends for at least 6 weeks or even diaries line up. I just didn’t want to sound desperate because that’s embarrassing

That’s exactly why I’d never date someone who lives that far away. If both of your diaries are that busy, how are you going to see each other regularly when it’s a 3 hour round trip?

Is this an app date?

You do sound keen but what's wrong with that? I don't know many men who wouldn't be thrilled to have a woman keen on them.

Nope

Keen as in desperate though?

You are not aligned. He is geographically distant and has a demanding work schedule. You seem keen to move at a faster pace than he is able or willing to so will forevermore be frustrated. You also want to be chased and he is not doing so. On to next.

Not at all! Keen as in "I quite fancy you and am eager to meet in person".

I dunno about anyone else but if someone felt that way about me I'd feel quite pleased about it!

You don’t sound desperate.

could you give us a bit more context though? You said there was more to the convo. Would help to understand the dynamics.

so it’s your first in-person meeting / date with each other.

When dh and I started dating her couldn't meet got 2 weeks cos of being busy. I was a bit mmmm about it but obviously I got over it!

It’s not the end of the world if I’m geographically distant. I don’t think anyone needs to chase anyone. It’s just trying to fix a date. If we can’t and then it proves too difficult and hasn’t got to any tangible date being decided by mid Nov then yes of course. Time to move on. I’d like to say I give everyone a chance? Sometimes works just demanding. I’ve been single a while so to me I just do my own thing